re: Weird Things You Misunderstood (Took Literally) as a Kid

My mom didn't understand the electronic highway sign we have in Arizona... "Drive hammered, get nailed." Asian.

When I was 7, I was the shortstop for my little league baseball team. We had a rule that said once the ball was thrown into the infield, all runners had to stop at the bases they were. They couldn't keep ADVANCING to the next base. Well, when my when my dad tried to explain the rule to me. I understood it as they had to stop running and go back no matter where they were. First ball I was thrown from the outfield a kid was 1/4 of the way to home plate, and I froze in a throwing stance. I was waiting on him to run back to third. Because he had to stop advancing dagnabbit, my daddy said so! Every parent, player, and coach associated with our team was screaming at me to throw. I was just sitting there confused that he was stil running. I remember looking at my dad from the dugout with a look that said "How could you tell me something so wrong??"



As a kid, my wife thought "No Outlet" signs meant the houses past that point didn't have any electrical outlets.

I thought when you broke a bone, that part of your body deflated.

I thought that English Muffins were spider houses because of the words of Little Miss Muffin. I got panicky when my Mom tried to give them to me.

Oh say can you see, by the donzer lee lie. I didn't know what it meant, but that's what it sounded like to me.

French Benefits.

Never mind thought OP meant something else as in things you misunderstood not took literally

Once when I was 3, I accidently split my ice cream sandwich in 2, and promptly threw that sum-bitch away because in my mind it was broke and no good. Loved me some ice cream sandwiches back then... still do actually.

quote:

---

Don't drink and drive

---

I thought it literally meant don't drink anything while driving

I asked for,I think,$15.99 in my letter to Santa when I was 4 or 5.My Mom asked me why I wanted that.

I was going to buy a Volkswagon Beetle.Guy on the commercial said they were fifteen ninety-nine.

1965.

Remember how there used to be announcements at airports telling folks where they could "meet their party"? I thought there were actually parties there for them, with balloons and shite. Always wanted them to announce where I could meet my party. Never came man, never came.

Thought a serial killer was someone who ate lots of cereal.
Thought an alcoholic was a person that drank alcohol as a dog drinks water, "Alcohol lick"