re: Watching parents health deteriorate as they age is hell

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Believe it or Not this means a lot and stings at the same time. A decade I’ve posted here. I’ve grown here. Processed and progressed and regressed and told enough truths and lies and stories to fill a tome. One regret I have is that one of the best talents granted to me, I’ve used and squandered at the same time. I’ve written constantly but never put it to any real use. Because putting food on the table was more important than chasing a dream. My father, he worked hard for us. And if It didn’t make you sweat it wasn’t work. And so My brow has known sweat and my hand bear scars. And to be honest i ain’t got shite to show for it but bills. I’ll teach my children to chase their dreams and take the chances I didn’t. And if they fail daddy will still be here god willing to still put food on the table. And if not, they’ll find a Way. I wish I’d put what I’m good at to work for me instead of my hands and my back.

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THEN DO THAT shite. You’re incredible dude!! I wish I had more friends like you that were that talented with words!! My dad has always told me ‘Only you can prevent forest fires’ and I’ve applied that to every part of my life. You are in control. I’ve applied for a grant and am going to be prepping my land to grow hemp next year. That’s been my dream since I was 16 and wrote a paper on how hemp could be the changing fabric of a better society, and I am doing it. It’ll make me happy, and it’s great that it’ll make me money, but regardless it’ll make me feel so satisfied and accomplished. Do what’s on your heart. You owe yourself that much. Your kids will be way proud of you. I’m proud as shite of my dad for pursuing his dream that he’s always had with fixing up old hot rods. shite like that empowers your kids to follow their dreams.

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Certainly worth trying in your mom's case, and when she's ready I'd find another doctor preferably one who can prescribe TMJ. They should also be able to rx her other pain meds.

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That’s the issue right now, I don’t know of a doctor that can prescribe both in our area. Do you live in Louisiana?

I...I guess I just don’t see it. As much as I write on here I’ve got thrice as much stuff I write just because it comes to me. Songs. Broad story concepts. Fables. But it’s just scribbling basically, what to do with it?

My little girl has dyslexia and it’s just so alien to me because words just...they come. As effortless as bleeding. Ever since I was young. And so to see her struggle and get so frustrated with what to me seems simpler than simple...it smarts. We sing the Words, because she’s always making songs.

My brother, rest his soul, got teased for being...well he was dyslexic too and never was a book smart guy but oh he could draw. And so I see how different intelligences can connect and intertwine. And there are so many untapped resources because they don’t fit into the mold of what should be.

Wow that was a ramble. But basically I don’t know how I can effectively put my writing skills to any palpable financial use

My dad passed two years ago from lung cancer after being on Hospice for two years. My mom had a stroke and is paralyzed on her left side with memory loss. She is in a nursing home, I go see her every night. I wish I could bring her home but I have to work and Insurance doesn’t pay for an aide to stay at your home

Find a new frickin doctor. There are plenty of shitty doctors out there don't let yourself feel trapped by one

Well, I am on the parent side of this discussion, so please excuse if some of the thoughts appear to ramble. As the body slowly gives in to the ticking clock, it is not always easy to accept each slight decline. But one of the more painful parts is watching the kids react as time passes. They could never lie to ole Dad, so despite there attempts to hide their feelings, I see & feel it. I sometimes tire of answering the, “How ya feelin’ Dad?” question.

Each of the kids are different. I had the first very open discussion with my son this past week concerning the final arrangements. Thinking he has finally reached a level of acceptance that this journey is about over for me. Very concerned for my daughter though, who is really in denial, refusing to discuss the eventuality.

My Dad & I had a pretty good relationship, but I travelled a different road. I joke that I really do not think he understood what a did for a living when he passed. As a result, I could never go to him for an opinion or advice concerning the business. Despite that, the day he passed may have been the only actual “lonely” moment of my life.

I am so grateful to be able to simply be there for the kids. Knowing that will come to an end hurts more than an single ailment I address each day.

For all the youngsters here, I suggest you try to be open with the folks as they grow older. Be there for support, but do not smother them. It only makes it worse. If you can protect them from the physicians and scammers in the background, do it, but never let them know.

Food for thought for all; the late Kirk Douglas was asked in an interview after his 100th birthday, “Kirk, are you afraid to die”? He replied, “Afraid, afraid to die? Why, everybody does it”. Enough said, good luck to all.

it sucks

It is the worst thing in the world that life really doesn't prepare you for. It's especially tough when you have a family of your own and you have to balance both. As horrible as it may sound, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders when my mom finally succumbed to her health issues. I was obviously devastated, and still am, but just the constant guilt of not being able to be there more and questioning if I was making the right decisions were gone.

Hang in there anyone going through it.