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Started By
Message
re: Visiting the graveside of a lost loved one
Posted on 5/8/18 at 4:26 pm to Paige
Posted on 5/8/18 at 4:26 pm to Paige
quote:
My dad died February 20th and I haven’t been since the funeral
My family thinks this is weird but I don’t see the point besides making myself sad
I feel the same way. I lost my Dad January 2010 and the only time that I’ve been back to his grave was to bury my Grandmother beside him.
0
Posted on 5/8/18 at 4:29 pm to Esquire
quote:Playwright/wit George S. Kaufman had an argument with his producer/director, and told friends: "When I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown in Jed Harris' face."
It's in my will to have me cremated and scattered wherever is inappropriate
Posted on 5/8/18 at 4:30 pm to TH03
quote:
Just cremate me and throw me in the backyard. I DGAF
This is my personal thoughts but I have kids and grandkids and a younger sister, nieces and nephews that I am close with. Because IDGAF I feel they (mostly my kids) get to decide what to do with me. I've made sure they know my personal preference is cremation, any sort of memorial, etc. or even a grave is up to them ultimately.
Going to a gravesite, marker, or memorial of some sort give people a sort of touchstone to associate with a memory of that person. To each his own where that is concerned. On a few occasions I have gone to my fathers gravesite for reflection, I must admit that it does bring certain feeling with it that I typically do not otherwise experience.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 4:35 pm to alajones
quote:About 15 yrs ago I paid homage at the grave of the great country-rock singer Gram Parsons, at a cemetery outside NO.
Many cemeteries are gorgeous and my family treats them like a public park occasionally (with some decorum). Like we’ll just walk around in them and look at tombstones. I find it fascinating.
Right near GP's grave is a marker for a guy who died in 1976, age (IIRC) 25. It gives his name and dates, but the only other things on it are the words "Cookie Monster".
I've never been able to get that out of my mind. Not "Son" or "Brother" or whatever, but "Cookie Monster". I wonder what the story is behind that...
Posted on 5/8/18 at 4:46 pm to Tiger Ryno
My mom visits dads grave occasionally. It used to be weekly.
I visited last week while at a funeral for a friends mom. It was the first time I’ve been this year. It makes me sad so I’d rather not there.
I visited last week while at a funeral for a friends mom. It was the first time I’ve been this year. It makes me sad so I’d rather not there.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 4:59 pm to Tiger Ryno
Graveyards, although seemingly depressing, are one of the rare places where you can get away from any and all aggrivating people to just have a little quiet peace and reflection. I might ask if I can build a home in one now that I'm thinking about it.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 5:07 pm to Tiger Ryno
I am not one that needs to visit burial plots to memorialize a dead loved one. I have pictures and movies I do that with in my home or a siblings.
I don't worry about if others decide to visit themselves. It is a personal preference.
I don't worry about if others decide to visit themselves. It is a personal preference.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 5:30 pm to RockyMtnTigerWDE
I still have both of my parents, so I'm not sure how often I will visit when one of them is buried. My paternal grandparents (the only ones I really knew... and both died when I was in my early 30s) are buried about an hour away. About 2-3 times in the last five years on a pretty summer day when I didn't have anything to do but felt like getting out and driving a bit I have gone to visit their graves. My great grandfather and grandmother are also buried there, but they died long before I was born.
That said, when my time comes I want to be cremated and have my remains spread out in a beautiful landscape somewhere.
That said, when my time comes I want to be cremated and have my remains spread out in a beautiful landscape somewhere.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 5:36 pm to Tiger Ryno
Well, first I would say that it isn't really something I feel I need to do. But I'd follow that with the fact that I've never lost anyone extremely close. Two grandfathers, a few casual friends/acquaintances my own age.. but not anyone that I'd be in constant agony. So maybe if that was the case, my stance on gravesite visitation would change.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 5:38 pm to RockyMtnTigerWDE
quote:that's a personal choice I won't argue with
I am not one that needs to visit burial plots to memorialize a dead loved one
however
quote:a lot of people don't have movies and some have perhaps few if any photos
I have pictures and movies I do that with in my home or a siblings
Posted on 5/8/18 at 6:07 pm to Kafka
quote:
a lot of people don't have movies and some have perhaps few if any photos
quote:
I don't worry about if others decide to visit themselves. It is a personal preference.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 6:09 pm to Tiger Ryno
I visit my brothers grave about three/four times a year. It’s always nice and quiet, so I sit there and reflect. I enjoy it
Posted on 5/8/18 at 6:11 pm to Big EZ Tiger
quote:
I might ask if I can build a home in one now that I'm thinking about it.
You may regret that.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 6:14 pm to Tiger Ryno
Haven’t been to my brother’s grave since funeral. 2008. I just can’t do it.
When friends go and post pics on Facebook, it upsets me.
“Cat gif”
“What kind of monkey are you?”
“Dog gif”
“Trump evil”
“Hillary evil”
“Hey look it’s your dead brother! His rotting corpse is under this grass!”
When friends go and post pics on Facebook, it upsets me.
“Cat gif”
“What kind of monkey are you?”
“Dog gif”
“Trump evil”
“Hillary evil”
“Hey look it’s your dead brother! His rotting corpse is under this grass!”
Posted on 5/8/18 at 7:22 pm to BuckeyeFan87
quote:
I find viewing headstones interesting, especially older ones
2nd this, wife thinks it's weird but Cemeteries tell stories.
As for visiting, I don't "feel" my Dad there. Everyday occurences & moments keep his memory alive.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 7:25 pm to Tiger Ryno
I do not. Not sure why. Even when I go to a funeral, I don't go visit graves. I will be honest, I don't do it because I don't want to get emotional. I avoid that, which sometimes makes me feel like a bad person, but everyone is different.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 8:10 pm to LC412000
I’m right there with you. Some days I expect to see her.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 8:40 pm to Tiger Ryno
Nope. Dead are dead. I’ve got wonderful memories of my dad and grandparents and have no need to go look at dirt.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 9:40 pm to LSUBoo
quote:
Okay, but you have no personal connection to him, but still go place flowers from time to time?
Not knocking it, just can't for the life of me understand it.
We were friends. He was my first road trip companion when I moved back to Louisiana. We drove to Tucson to the LSU football game.
Posted on 5/8/18 at 9:45 pm to Tiger Ryno
*gravesite
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