re: the dating apps aren't cutting it for me in terms of meeting women

I've never done online dating at all, but it strikes me that they probably like the attention, conversation and lead up but then get super-selective when it comes to going up a level?

Honestly, in this culture I somewhat understand why they'd do it (we're often isolated as people and it's easy community without any commitment or obligation). But I'm sure it's really frustrating.

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FTR, single American women have completely changed in the last 10-15 years. Social media, anti depressants, proliferation of personality disorders, Covid neurosis, Me Too, Trump Derangement Syndrome etc. Any man that uses dating sites has to wade through all that . And women will hide it to lock you down and then bludgeon you with it later. So looking at them as “ DTF “ is probably a good approach. You will have a much better chance to meet quality well- adjusted women with similar values in the wild, through shared interest and the spark of connection. Like our fathers and grandfathers before us- by going out in the world like men with confidence and charm. It’s like sending out anonymous résumé’s trying to secure a plum job. Sure you can find success and nice women but it’s not the BEST approach because of the amount of train wrecks

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Billy Shakespeare couldnt have said it better

a-hole? I was polite AF about your assholery. I won’t make that mistake again.

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I've never done online dating at all, but it strikes me that they probably like the attention, conversation and lead up but then get super-selective when it comes to going up a level?

Honestly, in this culture I somewhat understand why they'd do it (we're often isolated as people and it's easy community without any commitment or obligation). But I'm sure it's really frustrating.

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Yeah, when something similar has happened in the past, with one exception that I can think of, they've ghosted either after the first date or before they actually gave me their number.

So I have to imagine she either got cold feet (although we could have just grabbed coffee for an hour and a half and I would pay for it....not very much of a commitment) or maybe some ex popped back into her life or something. Who knows.

Just annoying to put in the time and then not even get a date out of it. But that's online dating for you!

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Women’s attractiveness is so temporary and fleeting. Once they hit their 30s their attractiveness drops tremendously, and exponentially in late 30s and 40s. Women know this, they know that their physical attractiveness is their biggest asset when getting approached by men, and seeing as it has an early expiration date, this is the biggest universal insecurity women have. They’re not above you so stop making them feel that way. Their biological clock is ALWAYS ticking.

This is 100% true for most of us. We have been conditioned to look for approval and compliments and quite often when men think we look just fine, we think we suck. The asset thing is kind of bullshite though. Or maybe some one do worry about there. There are also other women that because of genetics, just happen to age really well and we look much better at 50 when we compare ourselves to others our age. And I assure you, we do always compare.

Men, on the other hand, tend to improve with age and have better dating prospects as they get older. You gotta see women on Hinge as just mere mortals with early expiration dates. You don’t see many 50 year old women with 25 year old good looking lawyers.

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Men improve with age not because of their looks. It's because of their status and bank account. If you're a 50 year old Joe Blow with a job working in the warehouse, you won't be dating any 25 year old.

But overall you are correct. Most women are just as worried about dating as the men. They are just as insecure. They want someone to talk with them, make them laugh, make them feel like their opinions matter, etc. They want to know you don't only see their pretty face and figure. Talk. Talk more. Don't feel like you are "making a move". If you give off any vibes besides "I want to get to know you" it won't work.

I feel like some of y'all need to watch the movie Hitch. He's not wrong in a bunch of his advice.

Talk to a woman in real life

Don’t off yourself OP.

I live just south of you and the apps aren’t kind to me either: I mean I snagged like ten OT2s on there and a couple OT6s but when I travel to a real city for work it lights up. Multiple OT9s.

Your profile might possibly suck, but we live in a desert. I’ve deleted the apps and then gone on and it’s the same exact women from six months ago. You would never see the same person twice in any reasonably sized city.

Let’s get beers and bang OT1s at the end of the night instead.

Join Fetlife.com. Find yourself a kinky bitch.

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I've talked to a couple of co-workers who are female and have free accounts and paid accounts on hinge


How bout you bang one of them brawds?

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My wife's old friend is single, mid-50's and Asian. She very particular, but has met a few men on an app. She's really looking for a serious companion. If he's a real prospect, she dates a few times and then she has to find out of his ding-dong still works.

She's kind of settled in on a guy who is a retired banker now.