Tales from the School Bus

I know that school buses are generally hubs for misbehavior, but my bus back in middle school was particularly bad.

In addition to fights and guys smoking weed pipes and playing stinkfinger, I also remember the guys putting the windows down, and shooting rubber bands at the cars passing by that had their windows down. All the guys dipped, and I remember one time when a guy took his dip cup, and when a car drove by with its window down, he threw it and it splattered all up in the chick's lap.

Also the guys used to fart so much that our driver, Howard, finally had enough and sent letters home through the mail to our parents. Unfortunately for him many of us got the mail at our houses. At the bottom of the letter under where he had stated we had been "expelling gas" he included his name and phone number in case our parents wanted to call. Big mistake. The next morning we went to the Uni-Mart near our bus stop and called his house, knowing that he wouldn't be there because he was out on his route. His wife answered and the guy that called claimed to be a bookie and said that Howard owed him money. His wife was in hysterics.

Not long after that, for obvious reasons, we got a new driver. For the first few days we were really nice to him, and found out all about him. We found out he loved to hunt. So the next day as we were driving home past an open field one guy starts yelling, "12-point! 12-point!" and pointing out the window. The driver swerved his head and was like, "Where! Where?" He almost drove the bus into the ditch he was so excited.

Then I remember another time we had been taking "sex ed" during health class, and received a printout of the male reproductive system. My buddy who sat in the very back seat put the diagram up behind his head so that whomever was driving behind us would see it. Some lady eventually got behind us and followed us all the way to our bus stop, then demanded his name so that she could report him. He tried to tell her he was unaware that it was showing and that he had just put some papers behind his head to use as a pillow

I also remember a big bully who used to slam kids' heads off the windows. They'd be all sleepy in the morning and he'd sneak up the aisle and crack their heads off the window they were sitting next to. Some poor kid named Russ had his head bust through the glass or whatever it was -- after that they replaced all the windows with plexiglass.

Any other horror stories?