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re: Taking the car keys away from your parents

Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:01 pm to
Posted by Traveler
I'm not late-I'm early for tomorrow
Member since Sep 2003
26064 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:01 pm to
Hardest thing we had to do. The final straw came when he got lost in town and that moved the process ahead very quickly. We moved the car out of the garage and his housekeeper would drive him to wherever he needed to be. It wasn't long before he went into assisted living and he forgot he even had a car.
Posted by Gravitiger
Member since Jun 2011
12138 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:06 pm to
quote:

It took a directive from a medical professional for mine to listen.
When my grandmother's doctor brought it up she got a new provider (NP working out of her home) without telling us.
Posted by Codythetiger
Arkansas
Member since Nov 2006
30175 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:07 pm to
I hope they show you this when you go to have that talk Rex

If Nobody believed in you
Posted by Gravitiger
Member since Jun 2011
12138 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:07 pm to
quote:

It wasn't long before he went into assisted living and he forgot he even had a car.
Unfortunately mine never forgot they had a car, just that it had been taken from them because they couldn't drive anymore.
Posted by crash1211
Houma
Member since May 2008
3589 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:19 pm to
MIL in early stages of dementia got lost driving back home from her favorite restaurant a route she took all the time. She drove 15 minutes past her street. Lucky she stopped at a store and called my wife, and said she didn't know where she was. We figured out what store she was at and went to pick her up. She said it was just driving at night. We ended up getting a Dr. to tell her she couldn't drive anymore after trying to get her to give the keys up. She still bitches every now and again about not being able to drive her car.
Posted by 2geaux
Georgia
Member since Feb 2008
2731 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:20 pm to
I had to get the doctor to tell him. He wouldn’t believe me.
Posted by SpotCheckBilly
Member since May 2020
8153 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:21 pm to
quote:

I was lucky in that my dad's (88) license expired. I told him he couldn't drive without it and when he said he can get a new one I informed him he'd be required to take the test again.


I thought this would work for my mom, but the people at the driver's license office bent over backwards to help her get it renewed.

Everyone will be different. You can ask her doctor for help. You can also talk to local police to get help from them. For my mom, we had to get my dad's name off the title, and I told her she couldn't drive it until I did. Then I took a long, long time to do that. By the time I did, she had forgotten about driving.

And then some are easy. My grandaddy came home one day, handed the keys to his car to my dad and said, "it's yours now." Never explained why he did that.
Posted by FearlessFreep
Baja Alabama
Member since Nov 2009
19283 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:23 pm to
my dad fought it tooth and nail, insisted that his driving was fine, even after he missed the turn to their house - and by “missed” i dont mean he drove past the road, he turned 10 feet too soon and drove into a ditch

after months of dragging my feet because i knew what loss of mobility would mean to him, i finally sat him down and said “you may think you’re driving is fine, but the chance that you could get in a wreck and get sued and lose everything you’ve ever worked for isnt worth the risk”

when he said “okay” i knew that his time was short - he had lost the will to fight with me

he went into the hospital 6 weeks later and never came home again

good luck
Posted by Gris Gris
OTIS!NO RULES FOR SAUCES ON STEAK!!
Member since Feb 2008
49636 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:26 pm to
Mom's doctor told her a few years ago, she had to stop driving because her reaction time was too slow. It didn't have anything to do with her mind, so it was a difficult pill for her to swallow. She still brings it up from time to time, but either we or her sitters take her wherever she needs or wants to go whenever she wants in her car, so she's gotten used to being Miss Daisy.
Posted by Grebe
Member since Jan 2015
347 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:26 pm to
We had to do that with my grandfather. In our case, we just took the keys. He didn't like it but couldn't do much about the matter. He went over to the neighbor's house and bitterly complained that his son took his car keys. He then talked them into taking him to the liquor store so that he could buy a handle. Well done.
This post was edited on 6/25/25 at 8:19 pm
Posted by Traveler
I'm not late-I'm early for tomorrow
Member since Sep 2003
26064 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:28 pm to
quote:

mine never forgot they had a car,


That's terrible. I think if that ever happens to me, I would probably be the same way. I don't know if you can prepare yourself for it before it happens.
Posted by Gris Gris
OTIS!NO RULES FOR SAUCES ON STEAK!!
Member since Feb 2008
49636 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:28 pm to
quote:

Crowe Peel


He was the man! 6 of us were at LSU at one time or another and we frequented Crowe Peel's place for everything car related and cashing checks. One time, my Dad was in town and made it a point to go meet Crowe Peel since Dad was sure he'd either put a few of his kids through school or paid off the man's mortgage.
Posted by Sus-Scrofa
Member since Feb 2013
10406 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:29 pm to
Her eyes will get my mom before her mind does. It’s going to be a battle.
Posted by real turf fan
East Tennessee
Member since Dec 2016
11003 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:30 pm to
A neighbor's children took her license away; she was so pleased when she found an old one that she could use.
My FIL's doctor encouraged him to keep driving even after my husband followed him one day as he ignored red lights. We did get the car dealer to "have problems getting parts" after he left his right front bumper some where.

Then he forgot how to put the car in reverse. My husband pulled some wires and left a message where a repair person would see it telling that the owner has dementia and if you fix this you will be liable for any wrecks he causes.

We also made small summaries of who to call with multiple ways to contact family and hid them in his wallet and several places in the car.

He sold us the "unlucky car" and we found he was hiding money and was going to buy a junker from a neighbor. He lost it even more before the neighbor could sell him the disaster.
Posted by UptownJoeBrown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2024
5867 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:31 pm to
Get her doctor to tell her she can’t drive anymore for her safety.

The La State Police can also take away a driver’s license. You fill out a form.
Posted by justjoe906
Member since Oct 2013
2033 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:31 pm to
It's like taking away someone's last little bit of freedom. It's like the final blow to knowing your time on earth is coming to an end.
Posted by LCA131
Home of the Fake Sig lines
Member since Feb 2008
76112 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:32 pm to
quote:

Traveler


Man, there are some tough stories in here. Travel I think we are close in age... Do you struggle with anything in driving?

I struggle putting the car in the center of a parking slip. It used to be dead arse center... Now I'm crooked one way or the other, to one side... Frequently have to adjust...
Pisses me off.
Posted by loustuni
Member since Jul 2008
4184 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:33 pm to
We unhooked the battery and told my grandmother it needed to be repaired. We then sold the car. She asked about it for a few weeks, then forgot about it and really any of us... Its sad but she was running stop signs and driving to places she shouldn't have.
Posted by GetCocky11
Calgary, AB
Member since Oct 2012
53509 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:34 pm to
quote:

early phases of dementia


If this ever happens to me, I may seek out one of those suicide pods in Europe.
Posted by alphaandomega
Tuscaloosa-Here to Serve
Member since Aug 2012
16556 posts
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:34 pm to
quote:

we had to steal and hide my grandmothers car. She was livid (not out of character for her) and blamed it on me, which my dad was happy to let her think

it blew over after a couple of weeks, wasn’t long after that she didn’t know who I was anyway


I took the fuel pump relay out of my grandmothers car when she started losing her vision.

I put a note in the relay box under the hood explaining it and asking any mechanic who looked at it to tell her they couldnt figure out what was wrong.
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