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re: Taking the car keys away from your parents
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:01 pm to Rex Feral
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:01 pm to Rex Feral
Hardest thing we had to do. The final straw came when he got lost in town and that moved the process ahead very quickly. We moved the car out of the garage and his housekeeper would drive him to wherever he needed to be. It wasn't long before he went into assisted living and he forgot he even had a car.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:06 pm to Underteaux
quote:When my grandmother's doctor brought it up she got a new provider (NP working out of her home) without telling us.
It took a directive from a medical professional for mine to listen.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:07 pm to Rex Feral
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:07 pm to Traveler
quote:Unfortunately mine never forgot they had a car, just that it had been taken from them because they couldn't drive anymore.
It wasn't long before he went into assisted living and he forgot he even had a car.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:19 pm to Gravitiger
MIL in early stages of dementia got lost driving back home from her favorite restaurant a route she took all the time. She drove 15 minutes past her street. Lucky she stopped at a store and called my wife, and said she didn't know where she was. We figured out what store she was at and went to pick her up. She said it was just driving at night. We ended up getting a Dr. to tell her she couldn't drive anymore after trying to get her to give the keys up. She still bitches every now and again about not being able to drive her car.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:20 pm to Rex Feral
I had to get the doctor to tell him. He wouldn’t believe me.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:21 pm to BruslyTiger
quote:
I was lucky in that my dad's (88) license expired. I told him he couldn't drive without it and when he said he can get a new one I informed him he'd be required to take the test again.
I thought this would work for my mom, but the people at the driver's license office bent over backwards to help her get it renewed.
Everyone will be different. You can ask her doctor for help. You can also talk to local police to get help from them. For my mom, we had to get my dad's name off the title, and I told her she couldn't drive it until I did. Then I took a long, long time to do that. By the time I did, she had forgotten about driving.
And then some are easy. My grandaddy came home one day, handed the keys to his car to my dad and said, "it's yours now." Never explained why he did that.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:23 pm to Rex Feral
my dad fought it tooth and nail, insisted that his driving was fine, even after he missed the turn to their house - and by “missed” i dont mean he drove past the road, he turned 10 feet too soon and drove into a ditch
after months of dragging my feet because i knew what loss of mobility would mean to him, i finally sat him down and said “you may think you’re driving is fine, but the chance that you could get in a wreck and get sued and lose everything you’ve ever worked for isnt worth the risk”
when he said “okay” i knew that his time was short - he had lost the will to fight with me
he went into the hospital 6 weeks later and never came home again
good luck
after months of dragging my feet because i knew what loss of mobility would mean to him, i finally sat him down and said “you may think you’re driving is fine, but the chance that you could get in a wreck and get sued and lose everything you’ve ever worked for isnt worth the risk”
when he said “okay” i knew that his time was short - he had lost the will to fight with me
he went into the hospital 6 weeks later and never came home again
good luck
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:26 pm to Rex Feral
Mom's doctor told her a few years ago, she had to stop driving because her reaction time was too slow. It didn't have anything to do with her mind, so it was a difficult pill for her to swallow. She still brings it up from time to time, but either we or her sitters take her wherever she needs or wants to go whenever she wants in her car, so she's gotten used to being Miss Daisy.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:26 pm to Rex Feral
We had to do that with my grandfather. In our case, we just took the keys. He didn't like it but couldn't do much about the matter. He went over to the neighbor's house and bitterly complained that his son took his car keys. He then talked them into taking him to the liquor store so that he could buy a handle. Well done.
This post was edited on 6/25/25 at 8:19 pm
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:28 pm to Gravitiger
quote:
mine never forgot they had a car,
That's terrible. I think if that ever happens to me, I would probably be the same way. I don't know if you can prepare yourself for it before it happens.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:28 pm to Martini
quote:
Crowe Peel
He was the man! 6 of us were at LSU at one time or another and we frequented Crowe Peel's place for everything car related and cashing checks. One time, my Dad was in town and made it a point to go meet Crowe Peel since Dad was sure he'd either put a few of his kids through school or paid off the man's mortgage.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:29 pm to Rex Feral
Her eyes will get my mom before her mind does. It’s going to be a battle.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:30 pm to SpotCheckBilly
A neighbor's children took her license away; she was so pleased when she found an old one that she could use.
My FIL's doctor encouraged him to keep driving even after my husband followed him one day as he ignored red lights. We did get the car dealer to "have problems getting parts" after he left his right front bumper some where.
Then he forgot how to put the car in reverse. My husband pulled some wires and left a message where a repair person would see it telling that the owner has dementia and if you fix this you will be liable for any wrecks he causes.
We also made small summaries of who to call with multiple ways to contact family and hid them in his wallet and several places in the car.
He sold us the "unlucky car" and we found he was hiding money and was going to buy a junker from a neighbor. He lost it even more before the neighbor could sell him the disaster.
My FIL's doctor encouraged him to keep driving even after my husband followed him one day as he ignored red lights. We did get the car dealer to "have problems getting parts" after he left his right front bumper some where.
Then he forgot how to put the car in reverse. My husband pulled some wires and left a message where a repair person would see it telling that the owner has dementia and if you fix this you will be liable for any wrecks he causes.
We also made small summaries of who to call with multiple ways to contact family and hid them in his wallet and several places in the car.
He sold us the "unlucky car" and we found he was hiding money and was going to buy a junker from a neighbor. He lost it even more before the neighbor could sell him the disaster.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:31 pm to Rex Feral
Get her doctor to tell her she can’t drive anymore for her safety.
The La State Police can also take away a driver’s license. You fill out a form.
The La State Police can also take away a driver’s license. You fill out a form.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:31 pm to Rex Feral
It's like taking away someone's last little bit of freedom. It's like the final blow to knowing your time on earth is coming to an end.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:32 pm to Traveler
quote:
Traveler
Man, there are some tough stories in here. Travel I think we are close in age... Do you struggle with anything in driving?
I struggle putting the car in the center of a parking slip. It used to be dead arse center... Now I'm crooked one way or the other, to one side... Frequently have to adjust...
Pisses me off.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:33 pm to Rex Feral
We unhooked the battery and told my grandmother it needed to be repaired. We then sold the car. She asked about it for a few weeks, then forgot about it and really any of us... Its sad but she was running stop signs and driving to places she shouldn't have.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:34 pm to Rex Feral
quote:
early phases of dementia
If this ever happens to me, I may seek out one of those suicide pods in Europe.
Posted on 6/25/25 at 3:34 pm to cgrand
quote:
we had to steal and hide my grandmothers car. She was livid (not out of character for her) and blamed it on me, which my dad was happy to let her think
it blew over after a couple of weeks, wasn’t long after that she didn’t know who I was anyway
I took the fuel pump relay out of my grandmothers car when she started losing her vision.
I put a note in the relay box under the hood explaining it and asking any mechanic who looked at it to tell her they couldnt figure out what was wrong.
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