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Started By
Message
re: share your blind date/first date horror stories
Posted on 2/3/19 at 9:58 pm to L1C4
Posted on 2/3/19 at 9:58 pm to L1C4
Let's see..online dating stories.
Tinder -
Worst a girl showed up well over 150 pounds heavier than her photo. She had a bikini main pic. OT 7 likely. Few other normal pics all hot. Showed up insanely overweight. I laughed and said hell no you ate the girl in your photo..she cried and walked off. Not ashamed.
POF - Girl showed up eight months pregnant. Didn't tell me. I bought her to go and left cause she pulled up in a shitty car and I felt bad for her.
POF - Girl had no upper teeth...it was a risky one anyways but it had been over a month so I answered her messages and met. I sat down, said I had to go to the bathroom and left.
Tinder - Health freak. Said eating fried food once a week would lose twenty years of your life. We got in a full fledged argument in Chipolte and she threw her food at me lol.
I got more..I went on a lot of freaking dates over the years...it was bat shite sometimes
Tinder -
Worst a girl showed up well over 150 pounds heavier than her photo. She had a bikini main pic. OT 7 likely. Few other normal pics all hot. Showed up insanely overweight. I laughed and said hell no you ate the girl in your photo..she cried and walked off. Not ashamed.
POF - Girl showed up eight months pregnant. Didn't tell me. I bought her to go and left cause she pulled up in a shitty car and I felt bad for her.
POF - Girl had no upper teeth...it was a risky one anyways but it had been over a month so I answered her messages and met. I sat down, said I had to go to the bathroom and left.
Tinder - Health freak. Said eating fried food once a week would lose twenty years of your life. We got in a full fledged argument in Chipolte and she threw her food at me lol.
I got more..I went on a lot of freaking dates over the years...it was bat shite sometimes
3
Posted on 2/3/19 at 10:02 pm to L1C4
I once had to pull the truck over and shite on the side of the road on a first date. Had a little virus brewing. Chips and salsa and Coronas were like lighting a fuse in s bomb.
Posted on 2/3/19 at 10:16 pm to Honest Tune
Went on one blind date. The girl was a good friend of mine’s neighbor. She worked for the ZephrysX some sort of event coordinator role. Anyway, went to dinner, she was cute, but no exaggeration, did not stop talking for an hour straight. I heard her entire life story. I maybe said four words all dinner, two of which were “check please”. I told her after dinner I was nit feeling well (at this point I did have a headache) and never spoke with her again.
Posted on 2/3/19 at 10:32 pm to L1C4
I ordered a beer, he ordered a white Zinfandel...that should be all you need to know.
Posted on 2/3/19 at 10:42 pm to L1C4
Brought one back to my apt after going out to eat and the bar. She ended up peeing all over herself in my bathroom, and the floor was covered too. Just took off her pants, and hopped in my bed. I didn't notice until the next morning
Posted on 2/3/19 at 10:46 pm to NoHoTiger
I just remembered another one. I met this girl in Gulfport at a bar on the beach, before it was destroyed by Katrina, I was just in town for a couple days visiting some friends and we went out for some drinks. I was drunk as shite and we bumped into each other and started talking and we exchanged numbers. I didn’t remember much about her the next day but she was short, blond, and really pretty.
Anyway, I came back home the next day and we spent the next couple weeks talking every once in a while and she convinced me to come back and see me. I drive up to her house to get her and she gets in my car wearing this little sun dress and she doesn’t have a left arm. I didn’t really care....it was kinda strange but she was really sweet and she was even prettier than I remembered. I’m talking this chick was two points out of my league despite only having one arm.
Things are going well at dinner, we’re flirting and laughing and asking questions about one another when the check gets sat down she asks, “So are you a righty or a lefty?” And I said, Righty, what about you? Instant silence. She requested to be taken home and never answered my calls ever again.
Anyway, I came back home the next day and we spent the next couple weeks talking every once in a while and she convinced me to come back and see me. I drive up to her house to get her and she gets in my car wearing this little sun dress and she doesn’t have a left arm. I didn’t really care....it was kinda strange but she was really sweet and she was even prettier than I remembered. I’m talking this chick was two points out of my league despite only having one arm.
Things are going well at dinner, we’re flirting and laughing and asking questions about one another when the check gets sat down she asks, “So are you a righty or a lefty?” And I said, Righty, what about you? Instant silence. She requested to be taken home and never answered my calls ever again.
This post was edited on 2/3/19 at 10:48 pm
Posted on 2/3/19 at 10:50 pm to L1C4
Had a couple first dates where the girls were heavier than they looked in the pictures...just drank a beer then left
Posted on 2/4/19 at 4:26 am to TigerStripes06
Funny. I would have cracked up. There was a girl from Slidell who actually was a fashion model with a prosthetic arm. Often in her photos it was virtually unnoticeable.
Here is another: A friend suggested that I stop to see him at his business, where he introduced me to one of his employees. She was a very beautiful, petite and fit 21 year old. Had been the state AAU 100m dash champion. My secret weapon when we played touch football with the guys.
Here is another: A friend suggested that I stop to see him at his business, where he introduced me to one of his employees. She was a very beautiful, petite and fit 21 year old. Had been the state AAU 100m dash champion. My secret weapon when we played touch football with the guys.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 9:42 am to theantiquetiger
You should’ve went over at 1am. It’s not like you could’ve gotten her pregnant.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 9:58 am to SG_Geaux
quote:
She did nothing but talk about her ex bf the whole time
This is my go-to when a date isn't going well. It doesn't always work sometimes, to be honest. Last time I did this was this girl who I had to pick up at where she worked as she didn't have a car. That was the first red flag.
The next red flag was she looked nothing like her photos. She was the embodiment of a butterface. She was at least short and petite like in her photos but whatever filter she used for selfies was a damn good one because I didn't think she did.
We go out to dinner and the entire time she attempted to breathe out her nose I heard this faint whistling noise. It got worse as she ate and didn't close her mouth while eating. Even worse is that she really had no personality. So, like the jackass I am, I start talking about my psycho ex-girlfriend in hopes she won't be interested afterward.
After the date, I meet up with some friends. I get a text from her that she'd like to be friends. I'm like sure, that will be OK. I don't talk to her for a week and she's all pissed telling me she knew I'd ghost her. Didn't reply, just blocked her number.
Another date I went on that became awkward as frick is when she told me her son was conceived by her being roofied on a boat on the Tickfaw river. I mean, that would be a conversation I'd wait till perhaps the second, maybe third date.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 9:58 am to tigerfoot
quote:
I once had to pull the truck over and shite on the side of the road on a first date. Had a little virus brewing. Chips and salsa and Coronas were like lighting a fuse in s bomb.
Damn dude, that's brutal!
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:03 am to Pechon
quote:
Pechon
Dang. Are you finding these women on plenty of fish?
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:03 am to L1C4
One of my really good friends ate a subway sandwich heavy on jalepenos and hot sauce right before hooking up with a girl. As he’s using his hand to get her going she starts saying “ow ow ow” out of nowhere and sprints into the bathroom and starts trying to wash the hot stuff out of her Who Ha
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:03 am to atxfan
quote:
share your blind date
Was a ok date, didn't get any.
quote:
/first date horror stories
Ended married to her which is almost 40 years now. Still don't know if it's a horror or what.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:11 am to Evil Little Thing
quote:
Dang. Are you finding these women on plenty of fish?
The second one....yes.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:12 am to mikelbr
quote:
I met this woman for a blind date who went absolutely insane after one drink. We ended up totalling my car, getting me fired, and I ended up in jail by the next morning for shooting at her ex boyfriend. But she bailed me out and we ended up together after I sabotaged her wedding just before marrying her evil ex.
No way this is real life.
quote:
Posted by
mikelbr
Oh...never mind.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:14 am to Pechon
quote:
It doesn't always work sometimes,
Like 60% of the time it works all the time?
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:15 am to Gatorbait2008
quote:
Tinder -
Worst a girl showed up well over 150 pounds heavier than her photo. She had a bikini main pic. OT 7 likely. Few other normal pics all hot. Showed up insanely overweight. I laughed and said hell no you ate the girl in your photo..she cried and walked off. Not ashamed.
POF - Girl showed up eight months pregnant. Didn't tell me. I bought her to go and left cause she pulled up in a shitty car and I felt bad for her.
POF - Girl had no upper teeth...it was a risky one anyways but it had been over a month so I answered her messages and met. I sat down, said I had to go to the bathroom and left.
Tinder - Health freak. Said eating fried food once a week would lose twenty years of your life. We got in a full fledged argument in Chipolte and she threw her food at me lol.
I got more..I went on a lot of freaking dates over the years...it was bat shite sometimes
Good god. Sometimes I get annoyed with my wife and she can be emotional and shite like most women, but these stories have me terrified of ever having to re-enter the dating pool. I better die before she does.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:17 am to Jim Rockford
quote:
allergic reaction to peanut dust
If that's the nickname you're giving it, maybe you need to go to the doctor. It should be liquid, not dusty.
Posted on 2/4/19 at 10:24 am to jimmy the leg
quote:
I had a date projectile vomit onto the interior of my windshield.
she just wanted to get some frickin' french toast.
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