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Started By
Message
re: Proper bereavement etiquette
Posted on 6/13/19 at 6:53 pm to SundayFunday
Posted on 6/13/19 at 6:53 pm to SundayFunday
quote:
This is your best friends last days on this earth and his mother has to bury her son. That’s one of those things that takes precedents over others
I think it is his friends mom dying, not his friend
0
Posted on 6/13/19 at 6:54 pm to SundayFunday
I don't go to funerals.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 6:55 pm to Shepherd
quote:
I don’t remember all of my wedding party but I recall who was at my moms memorial service
What a weird thing to lie about.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 6:56 pm to Tigerfan56
How old is OP? Does not sound like an adult.....at all
Posted on 6/13/19 at 7:50 pm to Tigerfan56
Would you want him there for you?
It’s a no brainer in my opinion.
Family, friends, and the “power of your presence” all come before work and paychecks. Get docked pay if you have to.
You’re storing up a different kind of wealth that you can take after you leave this earth.
It’s a no brainer in my opinion.
Family, friends, and the “power of your presence” all come before work and paychecks. Get docked pay if you have to.
You’re storing up a different kind of wealth that you can take after you leave this earth.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:09 pm to Tigerfan56
If that’s the case tell him you could only get away from work for the funeral.
There are usually plenty people at the funeral home, it’s after that’s rough. Everyone goes the the funeral home then the loved ones go home, often alone and left alone for weeks. lf it were me whose mom died, in that scenario, I’d tell you not to come til later when we could spend some one-on-one time together to catch up.
There are usually plenty people at the funeral home, it’s after that’s rough. Everyone goes the the funeral home then the loved ones go home, often alone and left alone for weeks. lf it were me whose mom died, in that scenario, I’d tell you not to come til later when we could spend some one-on-one time together to catch up.
This post was edited on 6/13/19 at 8:10 pm
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:25 pm to Tigerfan56
Find a way to be there for the whole thing.
Do it gladly, and if asked play off any difficulties you faced arranging the time like it's no big deal. Do not say or hint at any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Just being there for your friend will make a difference. Give him space if he needs it. Drink with him if he wants to.
Do it gladly, and if asked play off any difficulties you faced arranging the time like it's no big deal. Do not say or hint at any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Just being there for your friend will make a difference. Give him space if he needs it. Drink with him if he wants to.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:34 pm to Tigerfan56
Had a good friend of mine lose his father suddenly about a year ago. I was in the middle of a busy time at work. I had to make arrangements with my job but I did whatever I could to be there (I live two hours away). Looking back I realized just how important it was to be there and you should make every effort to do so as well
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:44 pm to Tigerfan56
Visitation, or even after everyone else is gone. Sometimes that’s the toughest part.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:46 pm to Tiger in the Sticks
Whatever you do, don’t bang his sister in the funeral home bathroom. That would be poor etiquette
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:47 pm to Rouge
quote:He's asking for advice. He's admitted he doesn't have experience.
How old is OP? Does not sound like an adult.....at all
Just deliver your wisdom, or don't. No need for anything else.
Assuming you are an adult, the thing we do as adults, is offer advice when asked. And occasionally, when not asked.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:53 pm to Tigerfan56
IMO, if nothing else, go to the funeral, and by all means since you're already close enough of a buddy to sacrifice even this much of your time, do not miss the burial.
I've always said there are 3 kinds of people in a man's life, and each type determines who and what they are to the man in question, and these 3 types of people ALSO apply in the case of loved one dying (like in your case):
1) Your visitation people.
2) Your funeral people.
3) Your burial people.
It doesn't take a genius, a pastor, a psychologist, nor the undertaker to decipher who of the above has priority in our lives over the other.
The ones who are present as your body become dust again, and the ones who are there all the way up to the bitter (or bittersweet) end are "your" people.
They were yours from the beginning, and you were theirs, and that is a precious thing if you contemplate on it.
History be damned, those burial folks are the people of whom there's no question about it: Come hell or high water, you'll remember them, and they'll remember you, and nothing will take that from you- not even death.
And it sounds like you know where you stand and what you should do; so do it.
I've always said there are 3 kinds of people in a man's life, and each type determines who and what they are to the man in question, and these 3 types of people ALSO apply in the case of loved one dying (like in your case):
1) Your visitation people.
2) Your funeral people.
3) Your burial people.
It doesn't take a genius, a pastor, a psychologist, nor the undertaker to decipher who of the above has priority in our lives over the other.
The ones who are present as your body become dust again, and the ones who are there all the way up to the bitter (or bittersweet) end are "your" people.
They were yours from the beginning, and you were theirs, and that is a precious thing if you contemplate on it.
History be damned, those burial folks are the people of whom there's no question about it: Come hell or high water, you'll remember them, and they'll remember you, and nothing will take that from you- not even death.
And it sounds like you know where you stand and what you should do; so do it.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 8:56 pm to Tigerpaw123
quote:
My dad died 2 days after my best friends wedding, he cut his honeymoon short to be back, I will never forget it
I’m jealous of your friendship.
Posted on 6/13/19 at 9:03 pm to JPinLondon
Sage advice.
The world is full of boys wearing men's size clothing. Boys who want so badly to be seen as relevant, and yet the words that come out of their mouth render them useless.
They cannot understand why they garner such little respect, and that the reason for it is because of the little respect that they give.
We are simple creatures, and yet we pretend that we are not and muddy up the clear waters.
They should either give their answers, or keep their disrespectful mouths shut; lest a real man shut it for them.
The world is full of boys wearing men's size clothing. Boys who want so badly to be seen as relevant, and yet the words that come out of their mouth render them useless.
They cannot understand why they garner such little respect, and that the reason for it is because of the little respect that they give.
We are simple creatures, and yet we pretend that we are not and muddy up the clear waters.
They should either give their answers, or keep their disrespectful mouths shut; lest a real man shut it for them.
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