re: Prayers needed! Planning on getting a vasectomy without telling the wife.

Later this year when your wife comes up pregnant with ‘your third kid’, do you start looking at the first two differently?



ETA: also I’d like to add this is a good time to start squirreling away cash here and there for that deposit and first/last months rent you will need to move into that one bedroom apartment you’ll inevitably be looking for on the fly.

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Pack your shite now. You’re out when she finds out.

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Nah. It'll just be a "miracle" when she ends up pregnant after his procedure.

Just remember…. She doesn’t need you to get pregnant.

I hope this isn't a serious thread.

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Prayers needed! Planning on getting a vasectomy without telling the wife.

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If there was ever a topic where you guys need to be on the same page, it's on the decision to have or not to have more kids. You can't compromise on this. You both have to be fully on board with whatever path you take. Is she going to resent you if you don't want another child? Are you going to phone in your responsibilities as a father if she gets pregnant and you have another child? You guys have got to get on the same page.

You are begging for trouble if you don't talk to her about this. You are making a huge mistake. Not by getting snipped, but by doing this unilaterally without telling her. What's wrong with you?

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34 years old with two children. Wife has been trying to sell me the idea of having another. I'm done. She's said she's going to discontinue taking BC in the beginning of May for 'health reasons'.

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After about 35, the risk of pulmonary embolisms for women on birth control goes up. So there is a valid health concern with taking BC as she gets older. There are other ways. Tell her to talk to her doctor.

A PE actually happened to a friend of mine from high school, who was taking BC after having two kids already. She was about 34 when it happened. It got pretty touch and go for her for a while. Those can be very serous and IMO not worth the risk if you two both decide to not have other kids. There are other options for her too - just talk to your doctor.

Whatever she decides to do about this, she should talk to you about it too. Discontinuing BC obviously leaves you both open to the responsibilities of another child. Sounds like she wants one but you don't. Get on the same page.

Your wife's age and the need to come off BC is forcing you both to have a very big discussion. That's what you should be asking advice on. Not asking for prayers that you won't get caught doing something under the radar.

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My initial visit was last Thursday. Schedule procedure for April 4th when my wife is planning on visiting her sister for four days. The plan is to then fake a illness when she returns, probably covid. Hopefully, this will give the stitches time to dissolve. If everything goes as planned, I'll be sterile by May and my wife won't be none the wiser. If I don't offer a follow-up, the plan was foiled and she blood has been shed.

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This is insane. Your wife needs to know if you are doing any procedure, especially down there. How can you possibly think this is okay?

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This place really puts marriage/relationships into perspective and suddenly "I'm bored sometimes" seems like an incredibly childish thing to even complain about

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I'd bet OP is trolling but assuming it's true, wife is being just as selfish by going off bc and trying to get pregnant when he doesn't want another kid

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My urologist made my wife sign a release when I got mine.

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She has to consent. OP is fooling himself.

3 possible outcomes:
Divorce
Permanently resentful wife.
3rd child that’s not yours.

support. If she is lying about the reason to get off birth control , certainly that gives you an equal right to misinform

If you do it behind her back say goodbye to having sex if it doesn’t cause a divorce.

What will you do if she starts demanding you go to doctor after she can’t get pregnant?

You need to tell her you don’t want more kids and if she can’t take BC for “health reasons” then you will get a vasectomy. Deal with any argument up front, you’ll have at least been honest.

Or you can skip the vasectomy and just go to the bathroom to rub one out prior to bedtime to lower sperm count and pray to get lucky. Maybe it’ll cause you to not be aroused and you can blame it on the emotional distress over worrying about pregnancy because deep down you don’t want the stress of a 3rd child

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your body, your choice

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I understand the point you're making, and it is hypocritical, but the law doesn't really care about righteousness.

If it even is a law.