re: People who get married and choose not to have kids

Why is this board so concerned with this all of a sudden.? This same thread has popped up 100 times the last year. It’s pretty simple:

Some people are very self aware and realize it takes a very selfless person to properly raise a child. They can admit that they don’t feel they have this in them and prefer to prioritize their own life and fulfill it by more easily accumulating wealth and traveling the world and seeing all it has to offer. Kids throw a major wrench into this plan. Will they regret it when they’re old and they have nobody to take care of them? Or will they regret never realizing the true blessing it is to raise a kid and see it grow and to know what it is to care for something more than oneself excluding their partner? Maybe. But they can also say they were truly able to live their life to the fullest by the end of it.

On the flip side people with kids get to realize that blessing of raising someone to be a successful member of society and all the love that surrounds it and all the memories it bring and they’ll have somebody to take care of them when they’re old. However, they’re fricked when it comes to disposable income and time to see the world and live their own life to the fullest for at least 18 years. They give up their youth to raise their kids properly. Is it worth it in the long run? I’m sure they’ll tell you it is and they wouldn’t be wrong.

The point is neither is right or wrong. You just have to decide where your priorities lay. Society likes to look upon those who decide to prioritize their own life as selfish but id like to think those people are just self aware and shouldn’t have kids anyway.

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Children are a blessing, but some might say those folks are living the life.

They have a life companion but aren't burdened with fhe trials and responsibilities of parenthood.

They can travel and spend their money with less concern.

I'd say those folks are living the life.

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This is us. I retired at 49 last year. My wife got to retire at 43. We have already traveled to all 7 continents and are planning a move to Europe for the next few years to travel every country there. We live in Hawaii so of course we'll be back here in a few years. I have siblings and lots of cousins and of course, nieces and nephews. We enjoy visiting with all of them. We also enjoy our alone time and the fact that we didn't have kids is why we've been able to do so much traveling and retire early. Neither of us was completely against having kids, but we did marry late-ish when I was already 38 and she 32 and at that point in our lives, kids just weren't in the cards as much as working a lot and establishing a healthy financial outlook.

ETA: I hadn't read the whole thread when I posted, but some of the responses

It seems we should've had kids just so there's someone to take care of us when we're old I'm the oldest of 4 and my wife is a middle child, we'll make sure when we need to be around people because we're old and dying, to be with our families. Children are great for some people, but it doesn't mean you don't have a "family" if you have no kids.

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Since when you can’t have heirs unless they were born inside a marriage??

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The poster's intent was to talk about the historic impact of property acquisition/family alignment/etc. Which is true.

What's also true is that having combined ties (ie, heirs) of that blending was largely inseparable from the notion. Bastard children certainly weren't treated the same in any respect.

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usually the man, still gets assfricked in the inevitable divorce

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It’s much worse if they have children involved. Think about that.

People that don’t want kids are usually heavily liberal. Which is great because we don’t need liberals having kids! It’s a win win situation!

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Some people are very self aware and realize it takes a very selfless person to properly raise a child.

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This is not true, children change you. Many parents BECOME selfless.

I keep hearing "only have children if you are 100% sure". This is bad advice. Have children if you are 51% sure, the rest is probably just you being scared or nervous which is totally normal.

We've sold having children as a burden for too long.

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This is not true, children change you. Many parents BECOME selfless.

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And many do not.

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/

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It’s much worse if they have children involved. Think about that.

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I believe it.. Per my prenup attorney who is a big divorce attorney in BR, permanent alimony is becoming less and less common in modern society. The marriage would need to have lasted quite a long time, and the woman would need to have been out of the workforce for a long time or be unemployable for whatever reason (older lady, for example). Some exceptions for super high income situations.

The "assfricking" most (not all) men get these days is in the form of child support.

It seems to actually be quite possible to divorce without kids and owe nothing to the other spouse long term (LA does do interim alimony which is max 1 year, but this doesn't count as permanent alimony).

Having children is the best thing that can happen to you as a married person or adult.

In my opinion there’s no job no friendship no hunting trip no movie no sporting event that I’ve ever attended that’s gave me the same feeling of pride, love and admiration as I have for my two children


I feel sorry for people that choose not to have children. They have no idea what they’re missing out on..