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re: People who are 'emotionally immature' always use these 12 phrases, say experts
Posted on 2/6/25 at 9:56 am to NorthshoreTiger76
Posted on 2/6/25 at 9:56 am to NorthshoreTiger76
I think people in this thread are missing the “always” part. Sure, everyone says at least one of these on occasion (though there’s a few I would never say), but emotionally immature people always respond to these when confronted. No opinion on right or wrong, but that’s what’s being conveyed.
If anyone reads that list and thinks “I always respond with one of those because…” then yeah, they are probably emotionally immature
If anyone reads that list and thinks “I always respond with one of those because…” then yeah, they are probably emotionally immature
This post was edited on 2/6/25 at 9:59 am
1
Posted on 2/6/25 at 9:57 am to NorthshoreTiger76
quote:
'You always'/'You never...'
I’ve been thinking a lot about this one of late. Say you make a great effort. You go above and beyond. But the first time your SO doesn’t like what you do it becomes “ you never_______”. After hearing that enough times, and having all the really awesome stuff you do completely invalidated, you probably accept their assessment and just stop making an effort or walk away. Because everyone wants the wonderful things they do acknowledged, and if all that good will and effort can just be wiped away at any moment, what’s the point?
Posted on 2/6/25 at 9:59 am to NorthshoreTiger76
quote:
6. 'What are you talking about? I never said that!'
Like Nate Bargatze said, I don't claim to listen to everything my wife says, but I know she isn't batting 1.000
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:12 am to 777Tiger
quote:
everyone says those things baw
Yeah, whatever
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:15 am to Willie Stroker
quote:
Yeah, whatever
I was just joking!
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:34 am to Pettifogger
quote:
you don't know me" is #1 by far
Thugs say it
Trashy women getting in fights say it
Dumb influencer girls being sassy in tik toks from their car say it
David Goggins is about to cash you at Sonic.
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:37 am to Dadren
“You’re overreacting”.
I’ve said that to my wife before preceded by “calm down”.Always triggers another overreaction.
I’ve said that to my wife before preceded by “calm down”.Always triggers another overreaction.
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:44 am to Lsupimp
quote:
'You always'/'You never...'
quote:
I’ve been thinking a lot about this one of late. Say you make a great effort. You go above and beyond. But the first time your SO doesn’t like what you do it becomes “ you never_______”. After hearing that enough times, and having all the really awesome stuff you do completely invalidated, you probably accept their assessment and just stop making an effort or walk away. Because everyone wants the wonderful things they do acknowledged, and if all that good will and effort can just be wiped away at any moment, what’s the point?
I discourage the use of always and never in my house. That goes for me and my wife. Always and never are gross exaggerations that imply all or nothing. If you say I always do something, then there's never a time I don't do it.
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:47 am to LSUA 75
quote:
“You’re overreacting”.
I’ve said that to my wife before preceded by “calm down”.Always triggers another overreaction.
Peter Griffin mentioned something about not being able to spell "overreact" without...something...anatomical.
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:47 am to DakIsNoLB
quote:
discourage the use of always and never in my house. That goes for me and my wife. Always and never are gross exaggerations that imply all or nothing
same here, if I've said that once to my family I've said it a million times
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:47 am to NorthshoreTiger76
quote:
NorthshoreTiger76
We found the boomer who clicks on those clickbait links
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:48 am to NorthshoreTiger76
quote:
10. 'I was just joking!'
I have to say this at least twice a day to the wife (no pics) because for some reason she takes everything I say as God's honest truth.
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:49 am to LSUA 75
I think women, because they have a far higher incidence of negative emotions ( we are generally thinking about sports or tits or something like that with positive or neutral emotions ), tend to overestimate their relationship grievances and underestimate their relationship blessings. That inherent lack of gratitude with the corresponding emphasis on resentments and grievances can weigh pretty heavy on a man. That’s when it reaches the “ ok dear “ phase of the relationship and he emotionally checks out. A couple of my friends have emotionally checked out of their marriages because their wife is constantly disappointed in them. It makes them feel like relationship failures so they focus on things that make them feel successful.
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:49 am to NorthshoreTiger76
The next person to use gaslighting is going to get pistol whipped
Posted on 2/6/25 at 10:50 am to elposter
quote:
Most of those are just a variation of the same thing. Some blogger had a word quota and just wasted a bunch of space and time.
and the boomers here are eating it up! This is the crowd that can't stop clicking on the clickbait trash. It's amazing
Posted on 2/6/25 at 11:02 am to LSUA 75
quote:
“You’re overreacting”.
I’ll steel man this one a little bit, but not for the dumb reason in the OP. It’s not gaslighting because (as others have pointed out), what if the other person is overreacting? We all do it so saying it’s gaslighting 100% of time is stupid, incorrect and IMO, potentially dangerous to the relationship.
However, it’s not something you should ever say because it’s almost always counterproductive. In a relationship, your goal should be to be reconciled with your SO, not beat them into submission with logic and facts like you’re Ben Shapiro owning a lib or whatever. Telling them they’re overreacting isn’t going to cause them to pause and consider what you’re saying…it’ll just make them more reactive (as you pointed out).
What I would say is something like “It seems to me that you feel strongly about this…can you explain why because I don’t think I understand”. Basically the same thing, difference is you’re pointing at yourself (“I notice”, “I don’t understand”, “help me”) rather than throwing a label on someone that no person would want.
This post was edited on 2/6/25 at 11:03 am
Posted on 2/6/25 at 11:05 am to NorthshoreTiger76
quote:
'You always'/'You never...'
This probably triggers me more than anything and is my wife's go-to during about any argument
Posted on 2/6/25 at 11:06 am to NorthshoreTiger76
I think that list is a bunch of shite
How else can a person defend themselves?
Half those questions are the only ones that fit
How else can a person defend themselves?
Half those questions are the only ones that fit
Posted on 2/6/25 at 11:10 am to NorthshoreTiger76
These seem to be a bunch of things men say to women.
Or what if, you know, I didn't even say that.
I remember one time I was putting a barbecue pit together and muttered something under my breath to myself.
The woman I was with at the time said "Susan? Why are you talking about Susan?" (We knew someone named Susan.)
There was a whole fight about how I if I wanted Susan I should just go be with Susan.
I never said Susan.
Women are crazy
quote:
6. 'What are you talking about? I never said that!'
Or what if, you know, I didn't even say that.
I remember one time I was putting a barbecue pit together and muttered something under my breath to myself.
The woman I was with at the time said "Susan? Why are you talking about Susan?" (We knew someone named Susan.)
There was a whole fight about how I if I wanted Susan I should just go be with Susan.
I never said Susan.
Women are crazy
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