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Started By
Message
re: Parents making uninvited trip to visit , i’m swamped at work this month
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:27 am to SOSFAN
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:27 am to SOSFAN
quote:
My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer Monday and you're bitching about your parents loving you and wanting to see you.
Damn man I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to imagine. Stay strong as possible.
0
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:28 am to Bison
quote:
Somebody tell me how much of an a-hole I am for resenting them for this.
okay
quote:
When discussing a visit, I asked them to please hold off until late fall. They book the trip anyway ‘ bc tickets were cheaper’ and are coming this weekend.
0%
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:29 am to ApexHunterNetcode
quote:
Sounds like a bunch of entitled boomer parents in here. Yes, it's selfish of them, it's ok to have boundaries especially when your direct communication is ignored. While true, someday they won't be there, just bc you love someone, doesn't mean they can run roughshod through your life. Actions that lack mutual respect speak louder than anything.
Finally, someone in this thread talking some sense… and you can tell which ones in this thread are parents, because holy ish are they trying to completely guilt trip the OP, just like many parents do .. No wonder we have fallen so far as a society, nothing but pure guilt up in here .
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:31 am to ApexHunterNetcode
quote:
doesn't mean they can run roughshod through your life.
I hardly thinks this qualifies as "running roughshod through your life."
Some of you people...
It's your frickin' parents. Enjoy your time with them.
As far as putting "every fiber of your being" into your - what is probably an entry level position - job... dude, get a life. Don't let your job define you.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:36 am to Bison
quote:
This trip has been giving me anxiety
quote:
every fiber of my being is devoted to being successful at my new position.
someone else can man the fry machine for the weekend
quote:
I can’t help but feel resentful that instead of being able to get some overtime, or just get drunk and watch football this weekend:
that''s really good prioritizing what's important
quote:
Can someone tell me how much of an a-hole I am for feeling this way?
off the charts assholiness, and a whiny, ungrateful bitch too
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:38 am to BK Lounge
quote:
Finally, someone in this thread talking some sense
But youi'll accept your parents' inheritance like a champ, I bet.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:42 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
But youi'll accept your parents' inheritance like a champ, I bet.
I dont know who you think you’re talking to, Sparky- but ive been given nothing in life, and i expect nothing when they go .. save that crap for someone that comes from money, or feels like the world owes them something - maybe you yourself fit that description .
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:47 am to BK Lounge
quote:
I dont know who you think you’re talking to, Sparky- but ive been given nothing in life, and i expect nothing when they go .. save that crap for someone that comes from money, or feels like the world owes them something - maybe you yourself fit that description
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:50 am to BK Lounge
quote:
No wonder we have fallen so far as a society, nothing but pure guilt up in here .
Yep.
Prioritizing working for the man over family is definitely how we take back society.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:50 am to Bison
I was in the same boat with my parents and them being divorced. As an adult, I had to be very blunt and establish boundaries after a series of unacceptable intrusions on both sides. 0% a-hole.
The only one who knows and understands your family dynamic is you. And, how you deal with it is up to you.
After I set the tone, we were good.
The only one who knows and understands your family dynamic is you. And, how you deal with it is up to you.
After I set the tone, we were good.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:50 am to Bison
quote:
Can someone tell me how much of an a-hole I am for feeling this way?
Dude, just tell them you are a closeted gay and will keep your homosexuality off social media.
ETA: I can't think of any other reason why someone would act this way other than they "move away" to hide their naughty little secret.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:51 am to Bison
You're able to give up shifts at McDonald's right? Or just pay someone to take the shifts.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:59 am to Bison
quote:A pretty big one. Take your parents out and show them your life, that is what they want to know about. If you gotta work a couple hours, they will understand...just make em a pot of coffee and have them some breakfast delivered.
Can someone tell me how much of an a-hole I am for feeling this way?
I need some help putting this into perspective.
quote:Then dont. Go do something fun with them in your new town. Then grab an early dinner with a drink or two. As far as perspective, they raised you and are proud of you and that is worth giving up a day of what you think is more important. Coming up on the one year anniversary of my Moms death.
I don’t enjoy watching sports with my folks for a few reasons
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:59 am to Bison
Did you stop to consider that the reason they're being more forceful about coming to see you is BECAUSE you're so swamped and anxious with work? Don't underestimate spending time with your parents as a release valve for your stress.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:01 am to The Pirate King
Zero surprise that Bison and BK Lounge have shitty relationships with their parents
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:03 am to Bison
Everyone's relationship with their parents is different, but I wish my parents would come visit us more, and bring my dad's boat.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:04 am to Bison
I think that you recognizing that they are both sweet for wanting to visit but also annoying for not honoring your request of the timing is logical.
I don't know if this is an option for you but I would tell them that you will play tour guide one day this weekend but you have to work the other and they are on their own. Good compromise. If they get upset tell them that you warned them that it wasn't a good time and you are sacrificing one day of work to be with them.
Devil's advocate: Maybe taking a weekend to step away from work and refresh would be good for you. I get wanting to be your best at work but in the end, we work to live, we don't live to work.
I don't know if this is an option for you but I would tell them that you will play tour guide one day this weekend but you have to work the other and they are on their own. Good compromise. If they get upset tell them that you warned them that it wasn't a good time and you are sacrificing one day of work to be with them.
Devil's advocate: Maybe taking a weekend to step away from work and refresh would be good for you. I get wanting to be your best at work but in the end, we work to live, we don't live to work.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:04 am to Bison
Have to schedule a month or 2 to see mine or for them to come down. Watching my GFs dad get cancer and dementia, he went fast in 6 months her brother was never around. He may can live with that but my thought, when you can spend any amount of time with family, never know when it will end.
Short sighted yes I get where your coming from.
Short sighted yes I get where your coming from.
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:10 am to Bison
They are just coming for the weekend? Wtf is wrong with you. Meet me at Sonic and Let me explain a few things to you
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:11 am to BK Lounge
quote:
Finally, someone in this thread talking some sense… and you can tell which ones in this thread are parents, because holy ish are they trying to completely guilt trip the OP, just like many parents do .. No wonder we have fallen so far as a society, nothing but pure guilt up in here .
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