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re: Parents making uninvited trip to visit , i’m swamped at work this month

Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:27 am to
Posted by LSUcajun77
New Orleans
Member since Nov 2008
23930 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:27 am to
quote:

My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer Monday and you're bitching about your parents loving you and wanting to see you.


Damn man I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to imagine. Stay strong as possible.
Posted by Draconian Sanctions
Markey's bar
Member since Oct 2008
88127 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:28 am to
quote:

Somebody tell me how much of an a-hole I am for resenting them for this.


okay

quote:

When discussing a visit, I asked them to please hold off until late fall. They book the trip anyway ‘ bc tickets were cheaper’ and are coming this weekend.


0%
Posted by BK Lounge
Member since Nov 2021
5059 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:29 am to
quote:

Sounds like a bunch of entitled boomer parents in here. Yes, it's selfish of them, it's ok to have boundaries especially when your direct communication is ignored. While true, someday they won't be there, just bc you love someone, doesn't mean they can run roughshod through your life. Actions that lack mutual respect speak louder than anything.




Finally, someone in this thread talking some sense… and you can tell which ones in this thread are parents, because holy ish are they trying to completely guilt trip the OP, just like many parents do .. No wonder we have fallen so far as a society, nothing but pure guilt up in here .
Posted by MemphisGuy
Germantown, TN
Member since Nov 2023
13780 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:31 am to
quote:

doesn't mean they can run roughshod through your life.


I hardly thinks this qualifies as "running roughshod through your life."

Some of you people...

It's your frickin' parents. Enjoy your time with them.

As far as putting "every fiber of your being" into your - what is probably an entry level position - job... dude, get a life. Don't let your job define you.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
88881 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:36 am to
quote:

This trip has been giving me anxiety


quote:

every fiber of my being is devoted to being successful at my new position.


someone else can man the fry machine for the weekend

quote:

I can’t help but feel resentful that instead of being able to get some overtime, or just get drunk and watch football this weekend:


that''s really good prioritizing what's important

quote:

Can someone tell me how much of an a-hole I am for feeling this way?


off the charts assholiness, and a whiny, ungrateful bitch too
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
297391 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:38 am to
quote:


Finally, someone in this thread talking some sense


But youi'll accept your parents' inheritance like a champ, I bet.

Posted by BK Lounge
Member since Nov 2021
5059 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:42 am to
quote:

But youi'll accept your parents' inheritance like a champ, I bet.



I dont know who you think you’re talking to, Sparky- but ive been given nothing in life, and i expect nothing when they go .. save that crap for someone that comes from money, or feels like the world owes them something - maybe you yourself fit that description .
Posted by LSUcajun77
New Orleans
Member since Nov 2008
23930 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:47 am to
quote:

I dont know who you think you’re talking to, Sparky- but ive been given nothing in life, and i expect nothing when they go .. save that crap for someone that comes from money, or feels like the world owes them something - maybe you yourself fit that description


Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
85402 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:50 am to
quote:

No wonder we have fallen so far as a society, nothing but pure guilt up in here .


Yep.

Prioritizing working for the man over family is definitely how we take back society.
Posted by cgallent
Franklin, TN
Member since Jan 2011
110 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:50 am to
I was in the same boat with my parents and them being divorced. As an adult, I had to be very blunt and establish boundaries after a series of unacceptable intrusions on both sides. 0% a-hole.

The only one who knows and understands your family dynamic is you. And, how you deal with it is up to you.

After I set the tone, we were good.
Posted by jmon
Loisiana
Member since Oct 2010
9986 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:50 am to
quote:

Can someone tell me how much of an a-hole I am for feeling this way?


Dude, just tell them you are a closeted gay and will keep your homosexuality off social media.

ETA: I can't think of any other reason why someone would act this way other than they "move away" to hide their naughty little secret.
Posted by jcaz
Laffy
Member since Aug 2014
18819 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:51 am to
You're able to give up shifts at McDonald's right? Or just pay someone to take the shifts.
Posted by tigerfoot
Alexandria
Member since Sep 2006
60731 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:59 am to
quote:

Can someone tell me how much of an a-hole I am for feeling this way?
I need some help putting this into perspective.

A pretty big one. Take your parents out and show them your life, that is what they want to know about. If you gotta work a couple hours, they will understand...just make em a pot of coffee and have them some breakfast delivered.
quote:

I don’t enjoy watching sports with my folks for a few reasons
Then dont. Go do something fun with them in your new town. Then grab an early dinner with a drink or two. As far as perspective, they raised you and are proud of you and that is worth giving up a day of what you think is more important. Coming up on the one year anniversary of my Moms death.
Posted by The Pirate King
Pangu
Member since May 2014
65416 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 8:59 am to
Did you stop to consider that the reason they're being more forceful about coming to see you is BECAUSE you're so swamped and anxious with work? Don't underestimate spending time with your parents as a release valve for your stress.
Posted by Krane
Member since Oct 2017
1471 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:01 am to
Zero surprise that Bison and BK Lounge have shitty relationships with their parents
Posted by Funky Tide 8
Bayou Chico
Member since Feb 2009
56017 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:03 am to
Everyone's relationship with their parents is different, but I wish my parents would come visit us more, and bring my dad's boat.
Posted by Bert Macklin FBI
Quantico
Member since May 2013
11782 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:04 am to
I think that you recognizing that they are both sweet for wanting to visit but also annoying for not honoring your request of the timing is logical.

I don't know if this is an option for you but I would tell them that you will play tour guide one day this weekend but you have to work the other and they are on their own. Good compromise. If they get upset tell them that you warned them that it wasn't a good time and you are sacrificing one day of work to be with them.

Devil's advocate: Maybe taking a weekend to step away from work and refresh would be good for you. I get wanting to be your best at work but in the end, we work to live, we don't live to work.
Posted by GeauxtigersMs36
The coast
Member since Jan 2018
12487 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:04 am to
Have to schedule a month or 2 to see mine or for them to come down. Watching my GFs dad get cancer and dementia, he went fast in 6 months her brother was never around. He may can live with that but my thought, when you can spend any amount of time with family, never know when it will end.

Short sighted yes I get where your coming from.
Posted by SOSFAN
Blythewood
Member since Jun 2018
15130 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:10 am to
They are just coming for the weekend? Wtf is wrong with you. Meet me at Sonic and Let me explain a few things to you
Posted by MemphisGuy
Germantown, TN
Member since Nov 2023
13780 posts
Posted on 9/5/24 at 9:11 am to
quote:

Finally, someone in this thread talking some sense… and you can tell which ones in this thread are parents, because holy ish are they trying to completely guilt trip the OP, just like many parents do .. No wonder we have fallen so far as a society, nothing but pure guilt up in here .
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