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re: OT Advice: Family issue
Posted on 4/28/26 at 5:14 pm to Prominentwon
Posted on 4/28/26 at 5:14 pm to Prominentwon
This sounds like something that you may want to involve Adult Protective Services in. If the MIL wants to be a sorry arse, there’s nothing you can do, but you need to look out for the grandmother.
0
Posted on 4/28/26 at 5:16 pm to Prominentwon
you cannot control outcomes for other people...just remember that as you lead from your heart and protect your family
Posted on 4/28/26 at 5:16 pm to Prominentwon
quote:
Wife is pissed. She wants her out of her grandmothers home.
Understood.
quote:
She’s 89 and doesn’t understand what’s going on or is scared of consequences of her own daughter being in that condition. She’s doing what she can based on the little she understands. She’s 89. Last thing that needs to happen is her to be stressing this and dying over it. Selectively non-combative.
This is sticky... looking at if from Grandma's pov... this is her daughter, in probably the worst time in her life. G'ma is 89 and doesn't necessarily have a great many years left with her loved ones, with her daughter.
I imagine, especially if G'ma senses there are underlying issues (medically), that she's not going to turn her back on her daughter.
Now... if G'ma gets to having enough of it... that'd change the picture.
Is there anyone, friend or family, that could also move in with G'ma for awhile just to keep an eye on things?
Posted on 4/28/26 at 5:16 pm to Prominentwon
First let me say that I’m sorry you and, particularly your wife have to go through this. That said, she has earned the right to be stubborn and stupid. You can’t do anything. Stop trying. Her mother is enabling and you can’t fix that either. Let your wife make every decision and you just support her. Find your own peace. That’s it.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 5:22 pm to Prominentwon
Let the men in the family make the decisions.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 6:19 pm to SallysHuman
quote:
MiL sounds depressed, self destructive and quite probably ill. That's hard and I'm sorry you, your wife and her grandmother are going through it.
This. That’s a tough card to be dealt. I’m sorry for yall.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 6:20 pm to Prominentwon
Posted on 4/28/26 at 6:24 pm to Prominentwon
Get her evaluated. Have your wife call the coroner.
Has she been checked for a UTI? That can cause people to act crazy af for an extended period of time.
Has she been checked for a UTI? That can cause people to act crazy af for an extended period of time.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 6:24 pm to TigerBait2008
quote:
talkn bout CoCo?
That’s the one…
So far, doing some digging, it looks like I may have to alert Texas Adult Services.
I was unaware that self neglect can be unlawful especially if it involves a burden on another elder.
This post was edited on 4/28/26 at 6:25 pm
Posted on 4/28/26 at 6:24 pm to Prominentwon
Short answer, there's not much you can do. Not your burden to carry, or your wife's for that matter
Posted on 4/28/26 at 6:27 pm to Prominentwon
In 25 to 30 yrs that will be your wife. You have time to prepare.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 6:45 pm to Prominentwon
why is a 60 something year old woman expected to have a job? what kind of trashy arse family did you marry into?
Posted on 4/28/26 at 7:02 pm to Prominentwon
That’s tough bro hope it works out okay.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 7:07 pm to MikeAV8s
Good grief.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 7:36 pm to Prominentwon
As another poster said, make sure that a responsible person has a valid power of attorney for Grandma. Also, if Grandma owns a home or has investments, make sure someone ( not MiL) has the ability to get information about and access the accounts and is on the deed to the house. Make sure Grandma has a will so that she can direct where her property goes.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 7:53 pm to Prominentwon
Been through something like this, with my wife’s mom and aunt, but there was not grandmother for them to run to. We tried for years to do what we could, but both of them ended up just drinking and smoking themselves to death. Her mom had nothing. At least her aunt, who was really well off, had a couple of stints where she was in good shape and got her affairs in order.
If you or your wife have any possible way to get your grandmother’s estate protected, get it done. No matter the size.
As far as your wife goes, she needs to come to terms with a bad outcome if she hasn’t already.
And then sadly, you kind of have to keep an eye on the wife because there is a genetic element to alcoholism. We just kind of have an understanding that we don’t drink at home by ourselves. We’ll drink socially and she’ll have a couple of martinis when we go out to eat, but we’re not keeping cold beers and a supply of wine at home. Somebody may call that out and say it’s not hereditary… whatever, not worth finding out.
If you or your wife have any possible way to get your grandmother’s estate protected, get it done. No matter the size.
As far as your wife goes, she needs to come to terms with a bad outcome if she hasn’t already.
And then sadly, you kind of have to keep an eye on the wife because there is a genetic element to alcoholism. We just kind of have an understanding that we don’t drink at home by ourselves. We’ll drink socially and she’ll have a couple of martinis when we go out to eat, but we’re not keeping cold beers and a supply of wine at home. Somebody may call that out and say it’s not hereditary… whatever, not worth finding out.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 7:56 pm to Prominentwon
This sucks and has all the makings of an ID, Oxygen or NBC murder mystery show. Mama needs to be committed.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 7:56 pm to Prominentwon
Pics of mother-in-law?
Posted on 4/28/26 at 7:57 pm to Prominentwon
Divorce your wife now. Apples don’t roll far at all.
Posted on 4/28/26 at 8:00 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
Divorce your wife now. Apples don’t roll far at all.
I know this is a little tongue in cheek, but it is IMPERATIVE that y’all get on the same page to make sure she’s not going down the same road.
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