Office Christmas party this week. Nobody's getting impregnated.

Law firm Christmas parties were the shite up until around Katrina. An HR manager's nightmare, but they seemed to not care as much back then.

But we have had some good ones over the years, especially before the ubiquity of cell phones. Drinks start flowing at noon. There was the time we were thrown out of the Napoleon House and asked never to return after a female employee took her shirt off and danced on a table while another one barfed everywhere. And I mean literally everywhere.

Or the time that a 50-something female employee/predator got busy with a 20-something male associate in the bathroom at the Chart Room and were caught red handed. Or the time two female paralegals (you would) were making out on the dance floor at Razoo. Good times.

The fact is that those days are gone. The world is a sadder, darker, less festive and more depressing place nowadays.