NYC Divorce Attorney James Sexton with some jaw dropping statistics.

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I can't imagine granting a woman the power to decide if/when I have sex for the rest of my life.

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Unless you count jerking off as sex, you already do.

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So what does a guy get out of marriage besides a loss of freedom and potential financial ruin ?

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There are also statistics that show married men live longer, are generally healthier, and are typically more successful in their careers

According to ChatGPT

married men tend to have better health, longer lives, and greater career achievements on average compared to single men, based on a significant body of research. However, the reasons are complex, and the benefits are not universal. Here's a breakdown:
? 1. Health Benefits
Lower mortality rates: Married men tend to live longer than single men. This is seen across various studies and populations.
Better physical health: Marriage is associated with lower rates of heart disease, better immune function, and fewer hospitalizations.
Mental health: Married men often report lower levels of depression and loneliness.
Health behaviors: Wives often encourage better habits (e.g., healthier diet, regular checkups, avoiding risky behaviors).
?? Caveat: The quality of the marriage matters. Unhappy or high-conflict marriages can negate or reverse these benefits.
? 2. Longevity
Studies show that married men live, on average, several years longer than their unmarried counterparts.
This advantage is partly due to:
Better emotional and social support.
Reduced risky behaviors (e.g., smoking, excessive drinking).
More structured lives and routines.
? 3. Career and Financial Achievement
Higher earnings: Married men often earn more than single men, even when controlling for education and experience.
Career stability: They tend to have more stable employment and longer job tenure.
Motivation: Marriage may encourage men to work harder or take fewer risks, especially if they have children.
Social perception: Employers may view married men as more responsible or reliable.
?? Note: The correlation doesn’t imply that marriage causes these gains — some men who are already more stable, driven, or healthy may be more likely to marry.
?? Important Nuances
Selection bias: Healthier, more successful men are more likely to get married and stay married.
Cultural and socioeconomic factors: These vary by country and class. In some cultures, the benefits of marriage may be stronger or weaker.
Single men aren't doomed: Many single men live long, healthy, successful lives. Marriage isn't a silver bullet.

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I can't imagine granting a woman the power to decide if/when I have sex for the rest of my life.

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Hmmm

Plenty of men are unfaithful, I’d say that entitles the wife of half if not more.

There are so many factors that go into divorce I don’t think it’s fair to start blaming lawyers and women.

This post is very ignorant

Choose carefully. Date long term before marrying.

The problem is most guys choose a woman who shares his values. If men don’t hold themselves to a higher moral standard they don’t often know how to find a wife who will.

At the very least choose a woman who puts into practice shared religious beliefs, doesn’t require social media affirmation, and can live in foxhole with you during tough times.

Old Report - For Love or Money: Why Married Men Make More

Newer study - Marriage and Earnings: Why Do Married Men Earn More than Single Men?

2022 article - Married people earn more than single individuals. Here’s why.

2024 article - The Real Reason Married Men Earn $35,000 More Than Everyone Else, According To Research

Life expectancy

NIH Link - Life expectancy and active life expectancy by marital status among older U.S. adults: Results from the U.S. Medicare Health Outcome Survey (HOS)

2019 Harvard Health article

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There are so many factors that go into divorce I don’t think it’s fair to start blaming lawyers and women.

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I think there is a clear correlation between Women initiating a large percentage of divorces and the perceived (arguably obvious) benefits they receive after.

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So what does a guy get out of marriage besides a loss of freedom and potential financial ruin ?

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It's like trying to explain colors to someone who has been blind their entire life. If you haven't worked on your own issues and/or have a habit of picking partners who haven't worked on theirs, of course you're going to have a bad view of marriage.

The problem isn't with the institution, it's with this mindset that says it's for everyone at any time (especially in a culture that emphasizes putting "me" before "we"). It isn't and the failure is usually going to come from one partner or both refusing to acknowledge their problems (without trying to turn it on focusing on the other party's issues) and then working on fixing themselves.

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74% of divorces are initiated by the wife

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I wonder how much social media and girls being told they are all Princesses who deserve a prince have to do with this.

I am 45, and one girl I went to HS with is working on her 4th marriage. She is on track to have gotten married and/or divorced in her 20s, 30s, 40s, and working towards keeping the streak going into her 50s. She puts her whole life on Facebook.

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Listened to an interview the other day

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He's a divorce attorney. I agree that the statistics look horrible, but the divorce attorney sees the worst cases every day. He's not hearing from the families that are happily married.

IMO we should be studying the people with happy marriages and figure out what they are doing that others aren't.

I'd bet $$$ that in stressed or failed marriages - there's a lack of respect for the pact itself, unreasonable expectations often fueled by modern social media, and a serious commitment deficit from the female side of things.

And there is the infidelity part of it. If the married couple is too busy being parents/working professionals/etc. to properly show appreciation and maintain a sexual connection with each other.....there is no shortage of people looking for that exact thing that are willing to provide it and do not care if they wreck a family.