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Posted on 12/13/18 at 7:30 pm to X123F45
Was in HS banging this chick for the first time in her car in my dad's driveway. We were going at it for a while. It wasn't easy in her little Saturn.
After maybe 10 minutes of warm-up, and 10 minutes of getting down, smoke starts coming out from under her hood. The car shuts off, and I look over at the gauge cluster, and the temp gauge is pegged out.
So I get out and open the hood so it'll cool off faster. I'm just wearing boxers, and the chick is still naked in the passenger seat. My dad hears me close the car door, and comes out with a pistol thinking someone is breaking into his truck. He sees me, sees the naked 17 year old chick, and sees the steam coming out of her car. He sat out there until the car cooled off, filled it up with 50/50, told me to go inside, and followed the girl home
After maybe 10 minutes of warm-up, and 10 minutes of getting down, smoke starts coming out from under her hood. The car shuts off, and I look over at the gauge cluster, and the temp gauge is pegged out.
So I get out and open the hood so it'll cool off faster. I'm just wearing boxers, and the chick is still naked in the passenger seat. My dad hears me close the car door, and comes out with a pistol thinking someone is breaking into his truck. He sees me, sees the naked 17 year old chick, and sees the steam coming out of her car. He sat out there until the car cooled off, filled it up with 50/50, told me to go inside, and followed the girl home
Posted on 12/13/18 at 7:38 pm to X123F45
Got drunk at Fred's one night. Fat chick took me back to her place. Did the dirty. Got up half drunk and naked in the middle of the night and had to piss. Went to the bathroom in the hallway naked and locked the door. When I finished pissing I realized the shitty door was jammed or something. After jiggling the door a few times the knob starts turning and the door opens. It's the fat chick's hot roommate and I'm standing there butt arse naked. Good times.
Posted on 12/13/18 at 7:46 pm to Loaner1231
Wait: you live with your ex wife who left you two years ago? What? Why the frick would you do that?
Posted on 12/13/18 at 7:49 pm to X123F45
Go on a tinder date. Do the deed. Stay the night. Had alarm set for three so I could wake up to head home for work.
Alarm wakes her up, not me. She wakes up the little fellow and we get after it again before work. Still nothing weird.
Head home from laffy. She calls and thanks me for a good time. Still cool.
Ends the call with... See you soon daddy.
She's 7 years older than me.
Rather than cut bait, I go to work. Stop by the house and grab a variety of rather screwed up sex toys. I made her wear a fox tail buttplug to the OTs favorite drive in. And then walk to the center to order.
It was at that point I remembered this was our second date and this is the type of woman who takes my soul.
I hit it one more time and left without the tail.
Embarrassing part, buddy saw all of the pictures I took on my phone
Eta: and now Georgia is about to judge the frick out of me
Alarm wakes her up, not me. She wakes up the little fellow and we get after it again before work. Still nothing weird.
Head home from laffy. She calls and thanks me for a good time. Still cool.
Ends the call with... See you soon daddy.
She's 7 years older than me.
Rather than cut bait, I go to work. Stop by the house and grab a variety of rather screwed up sex toys. I made her wear a fox tail buttplug to the OTs favorite drive in. And then walk to the center to order.
It was at that point I remembered this was our second date and this is the type of woman who takes my soul.
I hit it one more time and left without the tail.
Embarrassing part, buddy saw all of the pictures I took on my phone
Eta: and now Georgia is about to judge the frick out of me
This post was edited on 12/13/18 at 7:51 pm
Posted on 12/13/18 at 7:52 pm to X123F45
Gotta be honest, Rando: she sounds like she’s not very cute if she’s willing to do all of that immediately.
I still upvoted.
I still upvoted.
This post was edited on 12/13/18 at 7:53 pm
Posted on 12/13/18 at 7:53 pm to Evil Little Thing
Legit 7. Ot 4
Eta: if there's a woman around with extreme daddy issues and a lot of weird sexual fetishes, she'll find me.
Eta: if there's a woman around with extreme daddy issues and a lot of weird sexual fetishes, she'll find me.
This post was edited on 12/13/18 at 7:55 pm
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:00 pm to Evil Little Thing
At that point, it doesn't really matter
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:05 pm to X123F45
Nope, not saying anything. I know how fricked You are, and I already knew about the daddy thing.
Hijack: I finally bought a new computer. I’m waiting for the mouse I ordered to come in and I’m gonna download the game and see just how rusty I am now.
Hijack: I finally bought a new computer. I’m waiting for the mouse I ordered to come in and I’m gonna download the game and see just how rusty I am now.
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:06 pm to BigWhiskeyRiffer
"It's the fat chick's hot roommate and I'm standing there butt arse naked. Good times."
Well?
Well?
This post was edited on 12/13/18 at 8:11 pm
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:11 pm to LongueCarabine
Well, it didn't end like the porno in my head at the time wanted it to...
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:18 pm to Doosh606
So your room mate is a squirter.
Where's the problem with that? She should have been cool with it.
Where's the problem with that? She should have been cool with it.
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:23 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
Not me but my buddy in HS screwed a fat chick through the burglar bars on her house
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:31 pm to The Bruce
She was a three bagger. Put a bag over over her head, a bag over my head in case her bag came off, and put a bag over my dog's so he wouldn't lose respect for me.
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:46 pm to X123F45
For my most embarrassing, I was changing positions with a girl and leaned back too far. I fell backwards off her very high bed and the corner of the dresser next to her bed made a cut from my lower back to left shoulder blade. I was drunk enough that I didn't know anything had happened until I woke up the next morning and her sheets were covered in blood and sticking to my back.
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:50 pm to X123F45
Walked in on by my sweet little granny when I was 17 while I was thrusting as hard as I could doggystyling my girlfriend. My blood pressure dropped and I felt faint. It took awhile for me to get over it.
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:53 pm to Jake88
Did granny finish you off? I think I’ve seen that movie on the internet
Posted on 12/13/18 at 8:54 pm to X123F45
quote:
Rando
A fox tail? I have so many questions but mostly just... how did she “wear” it to Sonic? Like tucked into her pants?
Posted on 12/13/18 at 9:01 pm to Slagathor
see these all the time at Renaissance Fair
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