re: Nsfw: the most embarrassing sexual thing you've done

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Started crying mid-BJ.

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So you finished the job while crying? Good girl

Got so wasted I pissed the bed. She woke up and I blamed it on her. She felt so bad she let me piihb after she changed the sheets and did my laundry.

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It involved my big toe.

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Sgt. Hulka?

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im pleasantly surprised a few LLotOT having posted my name

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You want them to tell everyone how they caught you spying on them while they were having sex?

Back when I was working for this airline, we'd sit in the crew rest room and sometimes talk about certain flight attendants when possible. This pilot was telling me about this one particular FA that was intriguing to me, and I had asked about. Very friendly, almost voluptuous and a little oriental or Pacific Islander type..anyway, beautiful body. He explained that his FO was overnighting with her and hooked up once. She was into the back door, so the story goes that he was drilling for oil and she left a bean shell pasted to his weewee. We had a good laugh

Big ol fat chick

Sorry

My typing skills are horrible

I edited it

This reminds me of a story a buddy of mine told me many, many years ago.

When he was a very young guy he came home early one day from school and as he passed the kitchen he saw his mom bent over the kitchen table and his dad was nailing her. His dad looked over at him and gave him a "thumbs-up" sign.

Well, a few weeks later his grandma was over and my friend was going to town with grandma as his dad walked in. My friend gave him a "thumbs-up" sign and his dad started screaming, "What are you doing?!?!" My friend responded, "Not so funny when it's your mom, huh?"

Took a date to a hibachi place, had a couple of drinks, things went rally well. Driving home (this was long before the DUI craze so save it) chick decides to go for the sweet sausage desert. Right in the middle I had this sudden urge to fart and I thought I could do a SBD. So I try to squeeze it out and low and behold it's a shart. Chick promptly vomits all over my truck.

Bumble date when I was 29. Chick was 20. I don't know why I had my age range that low. Curiosity, mostly.

She was a tallish (5'9") fit blonde with nice boobs, and she said she had a thing for redheads (lucky me - they're always cray cray).

I should've been more attuned to her immaturity, but honestly my strategy was never to talk much on the apps. Get in, get the digits, get out. Otherwise, it got stale.

Well, it turned out she lived at home like 1.5 hrs away . She drove to town in her dad's nice vintage corvette and met me at a bar that was essentially for young professionals. We had very little in common (obviously), and she was so bored.

Terrible planning on my part. It was a hipster place with a cat running around that she kept playing with and seemed more interested in. I thought the date was going terribly, and so I drank a lot.

She offered to drive me home and then walked inside with me. After all, she had a long drive back. We are sitting on the couch (my head is spinnin' a bit), and out of the blue she starts kissing me and then talking to me about how her old boyfriend used to say she was terrible at giving blowjobs! THEN, she asks to give me one so that I can judge! What luck!

I don't know if it was the surprise of it, the length of time it had been since I'd had a BJ, or her shocking/worrying talent for the job, but I finished in like 90 seconds.

She picks her head up in disappointment like I had let her down in some terrible way, and then tells me how shockingly fast I was, which probably should've made me feel bad as somewhat of a veteran being compared to a bunch of 20-year-olds.

BUUUUUT it didn't bother me that much. At least I had fun! I still have one of her earrings in a drawer somewhere. She drove all the way home, and I never called her or heard from her again.