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re: Neurologist said he is considering filing with a judge to remove my FIL from his finances
Posted on 7/28/23 at 9:53 pm to StringedInstruments
Posted on 7/28/23 at 9:53 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
The doctor brought up taking my FIL’s keys and his ability to do his own finances. He told my wife as an aside that if they aren’t able to make necessary changes ASAP, he would bring it to a judge.
It is normal for the family to compensate for the person with Alzheimer's so much so that they don't see the significance of the decline.
This was a wake up call that you have to act now before something bad happens. He should not be handling his finances or driving. Get the power of attorney to the person he trusts the most. He may be happy to stop doing it. It is frustrating to the patient to not be able to handle things that used to be easy. If he lives alone, he needs to be in memory care. If he has a caregiver at home, then he has to be watched 24/7. He is going to do something to harm himself or mess up his home--like causing a flood by leaving on the faucet or starting a fire while trying to cook. This is serious.
The doctor knows the family is compensating for him because everyone does it. He can't finish a sentence, you do it. He leaves the faucet running, you turn it off. He forgets someone's name, you remind him.
Act now to make sure he has the best quality of life while he can still enjoy it. Alzheimer's acts fast. Don't wait. If you haven't seen the movie Still Alice, you might watch it. It will be an eye opener.
1
Posted on 7/28/23 at 9:59 pm to StringedInstruments
What's his bank account look like?
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:00 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:TL;DR, he can't. Not by himself. Doctors have a bad habit of thinking they know everything, and they don't. Assuming you're in Louisiana, it's very difficult for even a family member to interdict an adult.
tried googling, but I couldn’t find any evidence that a doctor could go to a judge to remove a person’s ability to do their own finances.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:04 pm to deeprig9
quote:NGL, my first impulse would be to draw a box with '11 : 30' in it and tell the doc it was digital.
High school graduates can't pass that test.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:04 pm to wrlakers
He is going to do something to harm himself
No shortage of stories but was at my dads once and he was rummaging through his shop.. I asked what are you looking for dad.. he said he was looking for his skill saw so he could edge the grass growing in between the brick pavers…it is amazing how “creative “ he will get
He was past the point of living at home and we had to make difficult decisions also.. good luck.
No shortage of stories but was at my dads once and he was rummaging through his shop.. I asked what are you looking for dad.. he said he was looking for his skill saw so he could edge the grass growing in between the brick pavers…it is amazing how “creative “ he will get
He was past the point of living at home and we had to make difficult decisions also.. good luck.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:17 pm to StringedInstruments
Have him interdicted if his finances are such that someone may be able to take advantage of him and cause great harm. A POA doesn't take away his ability to f things up, it only grants equal authority to someone else. By interdicting him, which is basically what the doctor is suggesting, you take away his capacity to make decisions about his own care, finances, etc.
BTW what the doctor is probably talking about is a PEC, physician's emergency certificate, which is different from a CEC (Coroner's Emergency Certificate). A physician can "commit" him, which is a psychiatric hold, for 72 hours, if the coroner concurs, it moves to 14 days. So the doctor can actually do something on his own authority although that authority is limited. It sounds like the doctor has your FIL's best interest in mind, you should get your wife to work with him and an attorney to get that interdiction done.
BTW what the doctor is probably talking about is a PEC, physician's emergency certificate, which is different from a CEC (Coroner's Emergency Certificate). A physician can "commit" him, which is a psychiatric hold, for 72 hours, if the coroner concurs, it moves to 14 days. So the doctor can actually do something on his own authority although that authority is limited. It sounds like the doctor has your FIL's best interest in mind, you should get your wife to work with him and an attorney to get that interdiction done.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:18 pm to TigerDeacon
The OP needs to watch the movie I Care A Lot.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:37 pm to StringedInstruments
I’ve been in banking over 30 years, please take this advice. Not only do you need a power of attorney, but you need to open a checking account for him & CLOSE ALL OF THE ACCOUNTS THAT HE IS AN OWNER OR SIGNOR. If you can’t close the accounts (direct deposits, etc) at least move the money to the new account as soon as it hits the current account.
The POA is great & necessary, but if he is an owner or signor on a bank account, he can still “move” his money. That means he can be taken advantage of.
The POA is great & necessary, but if he is an owner or signor on a bank account, he can still “move” his money. That means he can be taken advantage of.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:41 pm to StringedInstruments
FIL could be faking this for attention. It's called munchhaisen syndrome. Look it up. It's what got Glenn Frey
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:48 pm to StringedInstruments
Sorry to hear that. Someone close to me has been in cognitive decline for a few years. Interesting that he was diagnosed 6 months ago and has declined that far.
This post was edited on 7/28/23 at 10:51 pm
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:51 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
I ask because my wife is 1) freaking out believing she’ll be liable if a judge gets involved after being at the appointment and 2) trying to figure out options for the impossibility of taking away her father’s control of his finances
I suspect this is exactly why the doctor said what he said.
He knows it’s an extremely difficult situation for any family, and that family members will often delay action until they have no choice. That’s not due to neglect; I think it comes from love / wanting your family member to be happy.
But if that’s what it takes to get your wife to face the reality of the situation, then it sounds like the doctor is doing the right thing IMO. I would probably suggest helping her find ways to handle the finances rather than focusing on whether the doctor can actually go straight to the judge (i.e. whether your wife can delay).
Hopefully that doesn’t come across the wrong way. Not trying to admonish anyone. Just saying it’s not going away regardless, and it will be easier for everyone if you don’t let it get to a point where another party has to intervene.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:52 pm to StringedInstruments
Sadly, yes. You have to go through your parish to file a complaint and they will instruct you what to do.
The sheriff deputies will be the ones to handle it and it’s best to stay away. It’s their job, and they’ve done it before. This happened recently in my family (my almost 100 year old grandmother, advised by my sheriff’s deputy aunt from another parish).
It sucks arse. It will hurt your family because he will not like it, but once someone is that far gone, I do not know what else can be done.
The sheriff deputies will be the ones to handle it and it’s best to stay away. It’s their job, and they’ve done it before. This happened recently in my family (my almost 100 year old grandmother, advised by my sheriff’s deputy aunt from another parish).
It sucks arse. It will hurt your family because he will not like it, but once someone is that far gone, I do not know what else can be done.
Posted on 7/28/23 at 10:54 pm to StringedInstruments
If in Louisiana, and a family member believes another is incapable of taking care of themselves they can file with the court, don’t know the exact term but pretty much like a tutorship, they will have to provide evidence to show that the individual is not able to care for themselves, like financially, medical, etc. this sounds exactly like that type of situation. I would seek out an attorney that deals with tutorship
Posted on 7/28/23 at 11:06 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
I tried googling, but I couldn’t find any evidence that a doctor could go to a judge to remove a person’s ability to do their own finances.
Not that I have a firm grasp on legal matters, but this sounds sketchy as hell. The doctor can make the recommendation, but what legal authority does a doctor have for that? I would consult an attorney to get some opinions on that. Not saying your doctor has bad intentions, but I would get a family representative if this does in fact go before a judge.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 3:02 am to StringedInstruments
Depends on who the neurologist would push to take over that authority. If it was to next of kin, I see it as him just trying to make sure it gets done.
If it is himself or someone he appoints, then sounds like an attempt to poach the man’s money. I know too many scumbag doctors to let them have any say in that.
If it is himself or someone he appoints, then sounds like an attempt to poach the man’s money. I know too many scumbag doctors to let them have any say in that.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:43 am to StringedInstruments
If his cognitive capacity is really that bad. TODAY you should find a family lawyer and get your wife and any of her siblings together IMMEDIATELY and establish a conservatorship for your FIL. I would not hesitate on that matter if the doctor is suggesting and threatening to get a judge to do it.
There are companies out there in FL and out west that take advantage of old people with these conditions and
cut them off from family and drain finances. Better that family intervenes on this matter now than the courts.
It is best if this is a family decision with all siblings involved. Do NOT trust that doctor and find another one immediately. I cannot stress this enough. If your FIL is that far degraded, you are doing him a favor by getting involved TODAY. The parent child roles have reversed and if you love him and care about him, you NEED to do this.
There are companies out there in FL and out west that take advantage of old people with these conditions and
cut them off from family and drain finances. Better that family intervenes on this matter now than the courts.
It is best if this is a family decision with all siblings involved. Do NOT trust that doctor and find another one immediately. I cannot stress this enough. If your FIL is that far degraded, you are doing him a favor by getting involved TODAY. The parent child roles have reversed and if you love him and care about him, you NEED to do this.
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:46 am to StringedInstruments
Went through this with my in-laws. You need to have your wife assigned POA asap. Luckily my FIL had a will with POA built in so as soon as a doc determined he wasn’t competent it was triggered. If you don’t, every care giver or new “girlfriend” he finds will get checks or even try to talk him into leaving her his house (yes, it happened).
Good luck…that’s some tough shite to deal with.
Edit…as noted you may have issues having anything signed now due to his state. I don’t know what you do other than get the family together and try to figure out how to get control of his accounts. You may be able to have your wife named his guardian by probate (I think) using the docs report but he probably won’t like it.
Good luck…that’s some tough shite to deal with.
Edit…as noted you may have issues having anything signed now due to his state. I don’t know what you do other than get the family together and try to figure out how to get control of his accounts. You may be able to have your wife named his guardian by probate (I think) using the docs report but he probably won’t like it.
This post was edited on 7/29/23 at 6:57 am
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:50 am to StringedInstruments
Some doctors think they walk on water. He's a jackass!
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:53 am to SwampyWaters
Unless he feels reduced capacity is a danger to himself, then he has a duty to report. Need to know more, but feel it’s just a statement to get the family rolling on getting his affairs in order..
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:59 am to CamdenTiger
A friend found out last month that his mother-in-law had signed up for 14 car repair insurance scams/contracts.
This post was edited on 7/29/23 at 7:41 am
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