re: Need Grandparent advice

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we had to have mine and my wife's parents help us a lot because of our crazy work schedules so they got to see the grandkids a lot, because if that, I really dont have a good frame of reference here.

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Similar here.

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5 miles away

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He in daycare? Offer to pick the boy up one afternoon a week and take him home so she has a few hours to take care of things around the house.

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(a) faith, 1(b) wife, and 1(c) child.

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I whole heartedly agree, I guess I didn't really think that thought out before I typed it. I know a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife, that's the way God intended it, amd it doesn't say say she will leave hers. I guess what I should have said is that I wish he would think of us a little more every now and then, thats it, not that we should be on thr forefront of his thoughts, I don't want that, just maybe just more than twice a month.

My advice, given from a son’s perspective, is to give it time.

Before you know it, you could be begging for a day off. It really depends on how your son and his wife are. My wife (no pics) and I lean our parents seldomly, whereas her brother’s kids practically live with her parents. It really just depends.

With just one grandchild, spread between two pairs of grandparents and two parents- there’s just not enough to go around right now. And, unfortunately, being the father’s parents normally (all other things equal) puts you at the bottom of the list. I never understood that until I had a girl. It makes sense.

The best advice I can give you is to all go to church together. Regularly. Faithfully. Go out to eat after, as a family, or bring them back to your house and feed them. You don’t have to go all formal- just having everyone there is enough. The next thing you know, you’re sitting in your recliner with your grandson on your chest; digesting a meal and a message. Once a week.

I have been doing this with my wife and kids, and my mother (widow) for only the last 5-6 years, and I can confidently tell you that it is one of the best and most effective decisions I have ever made. It makes every Sunday truly refreshing.

We had to fly three hours to see our grandson for his birthday, I would love to have your problem. Good luck and enjoy every minute with your son and grandchildren.

Offer to babysit so they can have a night out or just a night off. Ask them to let you have a day with him occasionally.

I actually have the opposite problem. My daughter is the single mom of a 10 yr old. We love him to death but our daughter is asking us to let him spend the night two or three times a week. She needs "a break". We raised four, my parents raised five and we all spent every night at home with our parents.

I know some grandparents that have their grandkids all the time and I respect that. I guess we are influenced by how we were raised. I saw my grandparents half a dozen times a year. M parents watched our kids occasionally but we never dreamed of imposing on them excessively. So we are finding ourselves saying "No" at times or we would be raising him.

This is awesome that y’all are loving, involved grandparents. What a beautiful blessing to everyone!

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The best advice I can give you is to all go to church together

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We did before they got married. They go to the church her family goes to. Our Uncle is the pastor at my church and I'm in the band so I cant leave and dont want to.

Ah. That’s a tough one. Is it a Catholic/protestant thing? Ours is. Wife was raised catholic but we go to a baptist church. I assume that your son went to your church, and she went to her parents’ church prior to marriage?

Cat's in the Cradle

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how often should we expect to be able to see him

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You should have no expectation of seeing anyone, even if it’s your grandkid. If you and your wife develop this expectation it has the potential to ruin your marriage and your relationship with your son.