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Message

re: My fiancee cheated on me.

Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:26 am to
Posted by CAD703X
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
87105 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:26 am to
quote:

I'm just here to say that Clark W Griswold can go frick himself with a cactus.

mods already took care of that
Posted by arkiebrian
NWA
Member since Nov 2006
4167 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:27 am to
Damn whore. At least you don’t have to have a sham marriage now. Best of luck to you.
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
124033 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:30 am to
quote:

I have no idea about the legal ramifications of putting his name on the birth certificate.


It means it his child legally whether it actually is or not.

He has to contest paternity with in a certain amount of years. Once a child gets to a certain age, you can't even contest it.

Its been awhile since I've looked at these Statutes.
Posted by baldona
Florida
Member since Feb 2016
22476 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:33 am to
OP, you need to do everything possible to get away from this girl and the daughter legally.

Once there is absolutely no legal binding, then you can choose to be whatever kind of dad to the little girl you want. But the last thing you want is the mother living in another town or state and you paying child support for a kid that is not yours', you don't know, and you have very little relations to. Because that is a very good possibility at this point.

So get yourself a lawyer and do everything you can to free yourself legally first, then decide down the line what you want to do on your own free will.
Posted by Tiger Prawn
Member since Dec 2016
23949 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:34 am to
quote:


I'm guessing you've never been a dad. That's cold and OP could not live with himself doing that.


I'm a single dad with full custody.

OP got suckered into supporting another man's baby because the biological baby daddy bailed out completely. She used him for a place to live and someone to financially support her and her kid. If OP wants to continue to be used and fricked over by this woman, that's on him.
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
59964 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:37 am to
quote:

OP got suckered into supporting another man's baby because the biological baby daddy bailed out completely. She used him for a place to live and someone to financially support her and her kid. If OP wants to continue to be used and fricked over by this woman, that's on him.


Agreed.
Posted by hezuss
Member since Oct 2017
45 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:37 am to
OK, I caught up. The OP is beyond help. Hope he enjoys paying child support on a child that is not his and will probably leave him when the girlfriend gets a better offer.
Posted by Tyga Woods
South Central Jupiter Island, FL
Member since Sep 2016
38023 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:39 am to
quote:

OP, you need to do everything possible to get away from this girl and the daughter legally.


What if he doesn’t want to get away from the daughter?? The OT is doing what the OT does best....acting like a bunch of hard-asses. OP has been this girls “father” for the entirety of her life except for the few seconds it takes to actually create it. He’s been there to celebrate every milestone, been there for doctors appointments, birthdays, late night feedings, hugs, kisses, and tears. That baby looks at OP and sees her father. It’s not her fault that the mom makes bad decisions. You can’t just walk away from that like it means nothing. If he’s willing to pay the costs associated with raising this kid, even if his relationship with the mother ends, then more power to him. The world would be a better place if more guys stepped up to the plate.
This post was edited on 11/17/17 at 10:41 am
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
59964 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:42 am to
quote:

What if he doesn’t want to get away from the daughter?? The OT is doing what the OT does best....acting like a bunch of hard-asses. OP has been this girls “father” for the entirety of her life except for the few seconds it takes to actually create it. He’s been there to celebrate every milestone, been there for doctors appointments, birthdays, late night feedings, hugs, kisses, and tears. That baby looks at OP and sees her father. It’s not her fault that the mom makes bad decisions. You can’t just walk away from that like it means nothing. If he’s willing to pay the costs associated with raising this kid, even if his relationship with the mother ends, then more power to him. The world would be a better place if more guys stepped up to the plate.


bullshite. The world would be a better place if women like in the OP didn't use their kids as meal tickets.
Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
121479 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:44 am to
quote:

GEAUXmedic
Cut your losses. Move on. You are in love with someone who does not exist. The sooner you realize that the better off you will be.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
282434 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:45 am to
quote:

Cut your losses. Move on. You are in love with someone who does not exist. The sooner you realize that the better off you will be.


Yep. Don't harbor any ill will, it's a chain around the neck. Accept life's experiences and move on to better things
Posted by Tyga Woods
South Central Jupiter Island, FL
Member since Sep 2016
38023 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:45 am to
quote:

Cut your losses. Move on. You are in love with someone who does not exist. The sooner you realize that the better off you will be.


He understands that and has stated he has no intention of staying with her. That’s the easy part.

The hard part is that he loves his non-biological daughter
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
59964 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:45 am to
Unfortunately, he's legally tied to this woman because his name is on the kid's birth certificate.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
130442 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:46 am to
quote:

But you've got to also understand that there is a legal definition of things and there's an emotional definition of things. You're telling me that if someone raised a child albeit not through legal adoption for a few years they are not in a father-son or father daughter relationship? We all understand that it is not his biological daughter. He has formed a profound emotional attachment to the girl. Surely you can understand that.


Of course I can understand that. And if the world worked based on emotions, I might be inclined to agree with you.

But it doesn’t, and what GeauxMedic needs to do is stop thinking about feelings and start playing with facts.

Fact 1. He has a son. A biological son from a previous marriage that he fought to have custody of. His son should be priority number one.

Fact 2. His cheating fiancée’s daughter isn’t his, no matter how much he cares about her, in the eyes of the law. If anyone, from the mom to the real dad to the grandparents to an aunt, with a biological tie to her wants to take her from him, they can and will. And they aren’t going to give a boyfriend, an UNRELATED MALE, custody of a little girl even if the mom is a huge frickup. Because despite what movies tell you, love doesn’t factor into the law.

Fact 3. If he doesn’t act swiftly then she is going to clean him out. The sooner he distances his son, hisself and his finances from her toxic cheating, the better.


Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
121479 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:47 am to
quote:

Unfortunately, he's legally tied to this woman because his name is on the kid's birth certificate.
He is an honorable man. And I applaud him for it. But a paternity test can resolve that issue quickly. Loving his daughter (and she truly is his daughter) is the harder part. Would not wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
124033 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:48 am to
quote:

Unfortunately, he's legally tied to this woman because his name is on the kid's birth certificate.


If I were him, I would let the fiance know that he still wants to act as the girl's father, but he plans on legally extricating himself from the situation.
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
59964 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:48 am to
quote:

a paternity test can resolve that issue quickly.


Not sure about the statute of limitations though. He may be out of luck.
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
124033 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:48 am to
quote:

But a paternity test can resolve that issue quickly.


It isn't always that easy, unfortunately.
Posted by chryso
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2008
13129 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:49 am to
quote:

What if he doesn’t want to get away from the daughter??


Nobody is saying he can't support the daughter both financially and emotionally if he so chooses. However, it would be in his best interests to ensure that he is not legally required to do so if things go south.
Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
121479 posts
Posted on 11/17/17 at 10:49 am to
quote:

The hard part is that he loves his non-biological daughter
A good man in a very difficult situation. This is definitely the harder part to address.
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