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Started By
Message
re: My fiancee cheated on me.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:08 am to SlowFlowPro
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:08 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
if OP is truly 100% on marrying this girl,
hasn't he stated he's not staying with her?
2
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:09 am to Chad504boy
He says that. Sharp money is on him marrying her.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:10 am to Hangit
quote:
Your attention to detail is apparent
quote:
posted at 9:01am
quote:
ETA: Just read through the thread some more. Looks like y'all are going to split up and as I said above, I really don't blame you because I could go either way here. If the daughter isn't your biological daughter, then that does make the situation slightly better even though she's still "yours" in your eyes. Still, though, prayers for a peaceful and respectful solution for you. This post was edited on 11/17 at 9:00 am
Ironic.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:10 am to Displaced
quote:
Sharp money is on him marrying her.
Doubtful, from all i've read, it didn't even sound like she was telling him she wants to stop.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:11 am to Chad504boy
Anyone know how old the "daughter" is?
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:13 am to jpainter6174
OP used the word toddler in reference to the daughter.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:14 am to GEAUXmedic
This sucks and you have my sympathy. I know you don't want to hear this, but if you stay with this woman and get married, one day you will sit on the edge of the bed with your head in your hands saying "I wish I never married her, I wish I could go back to the day she first told me she cheated, and just walk away." Don't wait for that moment - grant yourself that wish right now.
And do not blame yourself and think "if I had just done things this way, she wouldn't have cheated." Nothing you could have done would have prevented this. Be strong and hang in there.
And do not blame yourself and think "if I had just done things this way, she wouldn't have cheated." Nothing you could have done would have prevented this. Be strong and hang in there.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:15 am to GEAUXmedic
OP, everyone makes mistakes. Forgive her and put it behind you.
Now that you know I'm sure she'll never do it again.
Now that you know I'm sure she'll never do it again.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:16 am to Displaced
quote:
He says that. Sharp money is on him marrying her.
He staying.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:16 am to doya2
quote:
Normally people get married and then have children. My opinion is there is too much of this crap going on today
Spot on
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:17 am to GEAUXmedic
Don't have time to sift thru 20+ pages this morning. I'm assuming that the OT has already requested pics of this friendly young lady (at least several time). Have they been posted yet and on which page. Thanks.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:17 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i think signing the BC creates a rebuttable presumption of paternity.
Even if he signed it with the knowledge that it was not and couldn't possibly be his child? I would think it would be different if there was a chance that it was his kid, but it seems like he was aware that it wasn't his kid and that it couldn't possibly be his kid.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:18 am to GEAUXmedic
Are you sure the kid is yours? Get a paternity test.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:19 am to SirWinston
quote:
Are you sure the kid is yours? Get a paternity test.
Bun was already in the oven when he started dating her...
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:20 am to GeorgeTheGreek
quote:
OP, everyone makes mistakes. Forgive her and put it behind you.
Now that you know I'm sure she'll never do it again.
George
You might be right, but she cheated and chances are she'll do it again. Would be tough for the OP always having that in the back of his mind whenever she leaves the house. I wouldn't live like that.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:20 am to AU4real35
Yah I'm worried he will stay - hope I'm wrong.
hope his parents are semi retired and can help raise the kid if it's really his
hope his parents are semi retired and can help raise the kid if it's really his
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:22 am to GEAUXmedic
What a count
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:22 am to Skillet
IF OP can find himself a nice side piece to go cuddle with here and there, they can probably make this marriage work.
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:24 am to Lou
Here's how this is going to end, if the OP doesn't get heed some of the good advice he is being given here:
If he is lucky, he will get to see his "daughter" occasionally, at the whim of the mother. Unless she is proven to be unfit as a parent, no judge is going take a child from it's mother, and give custody to a non-blood relative. Cheating, while grounds for divorce, would have little bearing on child custody.
Here's the real rub, the court may very well put you on the tab for child support for the next 15-18 years, even though you are not the father. As you make more money, as people tend to do as they advance in their career, she will probably drag you back into court occasionally, to increase the child support. Paying child support WILL NOT grant you access to the child, but not paying it will definately get you locked up. GET A LAWYER TODAY!!
If he is lucky, he will get to see his "daughter" occasionally, at the whim of the mother. Unless she is proven to be unfit as a parent, no judge is going take a child from it's mother, and give custody to a non-blood relative. Cheating, while grounds for divorce, would have little bearing on child custody.
Here's the real rub, the court may very well put you on the tab for child support for the next 15-18 years, even though you are not the father. As you make more money, as people tend to do as they advance in their career, she will probably drag you back into court occasionally, to increase the child support. Paying child support WILL NOT grant you access to the child, but not paying it will definately get you locked up. GET A LAWYER TODAY!!
Posted on 11/17/17 at 9:24 am to GEAUXmedic
quote:
And I told her I forgave her, but I'm not sure why. Part of me just wanted her to feel better. Why do I still love her and care about her? Why am I the one who is left here alone?
You can absolutely forgive someone and still not want to be with them anymore. I forgave my ex-wife for wrecking our marriage and throwing a decade of memories down the drain, but that doesn't mean I would ever trust her again or want to be with her again.
Real sorry you are going through this. Be glad you didn't marry her and focus on what's best for your child.
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