re: Modern women have really lost their minds with financial dating standards

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So be a 10. It isn’t that hard to dress well, have a few friends, and groom yourself

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Again, I get what you’re saying. And I’m not talking about trying to help the 10s they don’t need any help, this thread is all about helping the guys who aren’t to find a match.

Carrying yourself with confidence and dressing well are critical to being successful in almost any situation.

But for the guys who are in the mid tier or below just being confident isn’t enough to make it happen in a personal pickup situation for the younger crowd due to the current social norms and is likely contributing to their low confidence because they likely aren’t having much success that way.

My guess is that to a large degree dating apps have made partners a commodity. Personality won’t show through other than for messaging so what’s the natural conclusion? You end up with a system based purely on looks, status and financials like you would for the NFL draft or something.

Because women only think the top 25% of men are handsome and everyone else is just shades of ugly it’s a disaster.

Add in the issue that there is more demand from men to date than women, the top tier guys are happy to have sex with as many partners as they want and then throw in the political divide and exploding obesity and you have a disaster on your hands from a demographic perspective.

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If everyone was able to get bitches there wouldn’t be anything special about it

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There’s already nothing special about bitches getting bros. Yet that’s what driving said bitches’ inflated entitlement

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I'm convinced this all started when we gave women the microwave oven. It's been all downhill since.

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Indoor plumbing and the vote

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Maybe if 99.99% of the men didn’t expect us to look like the 10% of hot girls this wouldn’t be a problem

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Lmao fat chicks get laid too. All a woman has to do is not be MASSIVE and not try to date up.

And this is why eager beats pretty.

Find a woman who loves you for no good reason at all. Someone who isn't after money because if you lose it she'll still be chasing it.

Surface Beauty is a fickle and fleeting thing, and Father Time makes ugly of us all.

But find you a woman that loves you for you, deep and true...and she'll be beautiful until your eyes go blind. You can't buy that.



ETA:It's kind of like a 3-star that wants it bad and plays their heart out vs a 5 star Pre-Madonna that just looking for that payday. ;)

You want someone with their heart in it.

Those are the ones that, when you look back, you say "man, there was something really special there and I didn't appreciate it."

Try to realize that when you have it. Or you won't.

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I think the prevalence of incredibly hot girls who are in the top 10% of human attractiveness on social media giving their opinions on the world of dating has made the other 90% completely delusional.

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This may be a small factor. The main issue is that even the most average women have good sexual options. Good looking guys are willing to sleep with average girls. They confuse their sexual options with men willing to commit to them. This is compounded by physical location no longer being a constraining factor due to instagram and dating apps

In my anecdotal experience, I’ve seen a lot of women end up marrying men who are less successful from the rat race perspective. There’s a shortage of marriageable men and so they’re downplaying even qualities like earning potential.These are women in their late twenties and early thirties though, so they’re old enough to understand that there are no unicorns out there. And it’s marry someone, and have children, or never get married and be childless.

One of the problem for men, and this is industry specific to some degree, there are exceptions, is that the workplace has been very feminized, and operates under rules that accommodate how women think and behave. And this puts men at a competitive disadvantage, while making it easier for women to have lucrative careers.

The other side of it, divorce is much more likely if the woman outearns her partner.

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Maybe if 99.99% of the men didn’t expect us to look like the 10% of hot girls this wouldn’t be a problem

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I'm sorry but I completely disagree with this. Are there men that try to date above what they can realistically get? Yes. I'll admit I'm single (been in several long term relationships) and just hit 40.

I bring this up because yes in my 20s I probably was guilty of being too picky. I was probably guilty of only wanting the say 20% of above average to downright hot girls (I would not say 10%) but as I got into my 30s I realized other things mattered as well and I feel like my standards are far more realistic.

I think most likely there's probably about 30% of men who genuinely have unrealistic expectations of a woman partner. But I think the other 70% of men are either just not interested in dating, or more likely, just want a woman who isn't tatted up everywhere, 300 lbs and has nothing but attitude and hatred for men and the so called "patriarchy". Those standards might sound beyond basic but there's a huge amount of women here in the U.S. that can't even meet that.

My mentality is looks get me interested, personality keeps me interested.

So yes while there is a certain percentage of men (at all age groups) that will only date those top 20% of women, I don't think it's the overwhelming majority. It's definitely not 99.99%.

I would say this to you in reponse to your inaccurate comment. Maybe 99.99% of men wouldn't do what you say we do if 99.99% of women didn't treat men as nothing more than a walking ATM and didn't judge us simply by the size of our bank accounts and are only willing to date the top 5% of men by income.

See how silly that sounds coming from the other side? And I could argue my statement is more correct. Women are far more guilty of judging Men solely by their bank account and job title than Men are to judge Women solely by looks. But both the arguments above are silly. And that's the problem. Like with politics men and women are way too far apart now. Sadly I don't have a solution and I think it's going to get much worse before it gets better.

My perspective, being single, is that online dating has taken the fun and spontaneity out of dating. It's made dating little more than a job search, with apps like Bumble and Hinge being just the dating version of LinkedIn. And first dates being nothing more than essentially job interviews.

With online dating it's all about metrics. You height, your looks, your profession, your income. No emphasis on personality or if there's a spark. Like probably most of you I've had genuine connections with women that I probably wouldn't have picked with online dating. And from personal experience (since I've been on and off online dating myself), I've seen women who checked off all the boxes and women who I thought would be a perfect match for me. We meet in person, absolutely no chemistry at all.

It's the personality aspect, the chemistry, that online dating has destroyed. And with #MeToo and women having no problem getting you kicked out of a bar or otherwise humiliating you instead of a simple "no thanks", it's made it very difficult to men to approach.

And to me that's the paradox. Women want more equality but in dating they still want "Tradition". They want to have their cake and eat it too. They don't want to take any initiative in dating. They want Men to approach, which is fine, but then they make it incredibly difficult to approach.

Calculate in the loss of third places in general, inflation (people can't go out as much) and the effects of the pandemic, which all but made online dating the default to meet someone, and it's made dating a complete disaster. I genuinely feel for Gen Z in this regard.

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Yet somehow half of the women in this country think they deserve this in addition to the litany of other requirements I didn't even start to get into. Young men these days are really facing an unpleasant dating journey, and the women end up hitting the wall and bitter.

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Meh. It’s all about priorities.

Men are attracted to looks and will go for women out of their league until they bag one and will only settle when they get tired, or realize the effort is futile.

Women do the same, but their priority is a provider.