re: Mitch Hedberg thread

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In New Orleans? fricking fantastic show.

"There are arrows on the stage telling me where to go. frick you, arrows. Don't tell me what to do." -- Mitch Hedberg

"Ladies, does size matter?" WOOOOO! "Now that we've heard from the whores, what do the rest of you think?" -- Dave Attell

I don't remember any of Lewis Black's material in particular, I just remember that it was a half hour of hilarious angry ranting.

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I was at that show. Lewis Black did some long rant about how Canada sucks and cold air sucks and the cold air comes from Canada.

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My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

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Just such a unique brain

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I got to smoke fake pot with Peter Frampton, that's a cool story. It's as cool as smoking real pot with a guy who looks like Peter Frampton. I've done that way more.

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Peter Frampton is a musical legend, but I don't know his music. So when you meet a legend and you're not familiar with their body of work, you have to divert from that fact. "Hello Peter Frampton. Do you like toast, too? Yes, as do I. It's warm and crispy, and the perfect place for jelly to lay. Now get the frick away from me, Frampton. I ain't got shite to say to you"

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“I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.”

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This was his genius.

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If you want to know the fastest way to get somewhere, ask a one legged man. He will know the fastest route.

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And you won't be hopping fences neither.

I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.

In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smackie the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system; I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought, "Man, here comes that frog...I'd better play dead." You never say, "Here comes that frog" in a terrified manner. It's always optimistic, like, "Hey, here comes that frog, all right.“

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I was at that show. Lewis Black did some long rant about how Canada sucks and cold air sucks and the cold air comes from Canada.

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That was about a 20 minute joke by Lewis.

It really shows his writing ability and his ability to meld the political into his bits without beating anyone over the head with it. It started with him doing a show in like Northern Wisconsin in the dead of Winter and how he hated the cold. Then, some pondering on the economy and jobs with a little bashing of both sides of the aisle in regards to repeatedly trying to same, often failed, economic policies. He wound his way to public works projects which led to him proposing a giant project on our Northern border. He proposed we pay the unemployed to build a wall on the US/Canada border, "Because that is where the cold air fricking comes from!"

I saw Lewis Black in 2019, twice, on back-to-back nights. He kicked his new tour off at Standup Live in Huntsville. He is longtime friends with the owners, and instead of doing an arena show like he normally does, he did 5 shows in 4 days. I saw him on the first and third shows. He was great, and his "The Rant is Due" segment that is streamed live to his fanclub members after every show was cool.

I have a girlfriend named Lynn. She spells her name L-Y-N-N. And my old girlfriend's name is Lyn too. She spells her name L-Y-N. Every now and then, I frick up. I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name. And she can tell because I don't say "nn" as long.

I like the Fed Ex driver because he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it.