re: mid 30s and tired / burned out...

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Life can be tough but it's better than the alternative.

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Life's a bitch, but God forbid, the bitch divorce me.

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As you get older the saying "Life is what happens while you are making other plans" makes more and more sense.

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Truth.

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If you have a good girl life is easy, if you don't its tough.

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Boom

There is a reason for the saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." You've got to find a passion outside of work. Good luck.

Atheism/Agnosticism is only a halfway point. I dropped religion when I researched the history of various religions and it became obvious how religious dogma is man's attempt to make God in his own image. But there is a deeper spiritual essence underpinning all religions. Investigate and tap into that. A higher power if you will. Don't call it God if that conjures negative religious feelings. There is a conscious intelligence behind every life form in the universe. Taoism comes as close to any philosophy in describing it. Read the Tao Te Ching. It is real and it is life changing. Has nothing to do with religion or going to church. I'm not into either of those things myself. But to each his own.

I really think the key to finding true happiness and success in life is the relationships you build. Since I got divorced I said f' everyone and I was just going to do me. After spending a couple of years going out every night, getting a lot of strange, ect.

I still wasn't happy so moved to more productive things. In the last 5 years I've been blessed with some great moments. Cashed many checks fishing tournaments, caught a 14+lb bass, won one of the bigger local trail championships, trained for and ran a marathon in under 4 hours, started playing golf and finally got my game under 90 consistently, jumped out of a plane, traveled, etc. In doing all of this I basically alienated myself from most of my friends. Granted that gradually happens with age or relocating for jobs and such. I'm not that close to family and haven't had a relationship with a girl last longer than a couple weeks. With all that said I still always feel down, lonely, or depressed and all of those 'achievements' provided short term joy.

I look back on the more sustained happier times of my life and that has been sharing random moments with family, friends, or a spouse.

I've put a lot aside this year to concentrate on reconnecting old friendships and dating (not hooking up) again to hopefully find someone special. Not sure what's in store, but you have to keep changing the scene until you can snap out of it. That's all I got. Life's to short to sit around and sulk.