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re: Married Men: Your Opinion

Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:35 am to
Posted by labratz
Member since Nov 2014
128 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:35 am to
Really guys??? The beginning of a long distance relationship? If it were a guy that did the sleeping around in this situation, I am certain the OT would jump to his defense.

I married after being in a long distance relationship for 3 years. Neither of us lived in a bubble. We both went out, met new people and enjoyed life. Long distance is tough, especially when you are just starting to get to know each other.

quote:

....he found out by talking on facebook to the ex. he asked the ex about the past cause how she was acting towards him back then was how she was acting recently.


I think one or more of these things are gong on :

1- He was bored/feeling neglected and wanted to add unnecessary drama in his life by digging up ancient history on FB-

2- He wants out of the relationship and is looking for an excuse.

3- He wants to have something over her in the relationship.

Posted by Merck
Tuscaloosa
Member since Nov 2009
1693 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:36 am to

This post was edited on 1/25/17 at 7:37 am
Posted by JJBTiger2012
Louisiana
Member since Jun 2013
1891 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:36 am to
I wouldn't break the kids home because of it. That's the only reasons I'd stay. He now has the upper hand in the relationship and should start doing wtf he wants. I'd hang that shite over her head for the rest of our life.
Posted by Merck
Tuscaloosa
Member since Nov 2009
1693 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:36 am to
quote:

Cdawg


When my mom was 25 she met my 45 year old step dad. They were both already married, her for 6 years, him for 20. They moved in together before their divorces were even final. They were married to each other for the rest of their lives, but still, it started as an affair.

My grandmother had an affair with the mailman, the fricking mailman. I didn't even believe that shite really happened to anybody, I thought it was just a cliche. She was married to her second husband my entire life until he died.

My great-grandmother got pregnant with my granddad as an unwed teen and her parents raised him as their own son. He didn't find out his sister was really his mom until he was 65 years old.

Don't pretend like your elders didn't make shitty decisions too. We all frick up sometimes, doesn't mean we should love them or respect them any less, just don't put them up on a pedestal.
Posted by Gaston
Dirty Coast
Member since Aug 2008
38945 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:36 am to
Yea, well hopefully your relationship isn't the fodder for some message board either. I've only been in a long distance scenario at the end of a relationship.
Posted by 13SaintTiger
Isle of Capri
Member since Sep 2011
18315 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:37 am to
quote:

But what I'd have the biggest issue with is the fact she has lied to him continually for 6 years.




Why would he be pestering her about it for 6 years? It's clear he doesn't want to be with her, he's just looking for an excuse. Why didn't he ask the ex before he married the girl? I mean the guy contacted the ex 6 years later. If I was the ex I would have told him to frick off.
Posted by Scooba
Member since Jun 2013
19999 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:38 am to
quote:

admitted to cheating while they first started dating.

That is forgivable assuming it was a short period and you are now happily married.

quote:

for those 6yrs the wife denied it any time it was brought up

This however would be hard to get past. I still don't think it is grounds for immediate divorce but I would definitely expect to PIIHB.
Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
73674 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:39 am to
Assuming he asked her for six years.

If you lied in year one, you are still lying in year 6 if you never tell the other person different.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83534 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:39 am to
quote:

Why would he be pestering her about it for 6 years?


because obviously he doesn't trust her and has deep insecurity issues about this

the OP makes it seem like they had a kid before marriage, so it was probably an accident

the relationship is over IMO, its just a matter of time
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83534 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:40 am to
quote:

My great-grandmother got pregnant with my granddad as an unwed teen and her parents raised him as their own son. He didn't find out his sister was really his mom until he was 65 years old.


...wtf

Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
73674 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:40 am to
quote:

because obviously he doesn't trust her and has deep insecurity issues about this



In the guys defense he is correct.

Maybe he should have settled the issues before marriage, but them again maybe suspicious things kept coming up.
Posted by 13SaintTiger
Isle of Capri
Member since Sep 2011
18315 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:40 am to
quote:


If you lied in year one, you are still lying in year 6 if you never tell the other person different.


Why would she confess to that shite? It doesn't do any good at all, same result as this thread no matter how long the lie is.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83534 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:42 am to
quote:

Why would she confess to that shite? It doesn't do any good at all, same result as this thread no matter how long the lie is.


because the guy could get out before he is married and has a kid with her
Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
73674 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:42 am to
Agreed. Like someone said, it was for her benefit and not his. Maybe she is cheating now and sees it as a distraction or maybe as a way to cut bait and make him seem unreasonable.

Or because he finally knows the truth and she can't hide it.
Posted by 13SaintTiger
Isle of Capri
Member since Sep 2011
18315 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:44 am to
quote:

because the guy could get out before he is married and has a kid with her


if he's looking for an out, he shouldn't have married her in the first place though
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
4315 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:47 am to
quote:

Sounds like the initial 2 years were just long distance...another 2.5 years of real dating, then married for 1.5.

If she broke it off with the ex when ole boy said he was moving to her city to be with her...that's about as much as you can ask. Who knew he would do that? She was just hedging her bets.


I'm not sure if I missed this in a post but the real question here is exclusivity. If this was agreed upon, distance is irrelevant. If one partly determines that they can't hack it, the mature decision is to break it off before hooking up with other people.
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34507 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:47 am to
Damn man... you sure do know a lot about your 'friend's' situation....


Posted by LSU alum wannabe
Katy, TX
Member since Jan 2004
26973 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:48 am to
quote:

She's a whore, they are all whores.


Damn.

You let her kiss your kids?
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34507 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:49 am to
quote:

Long distance is tough, especially when you are just starting to get to know each other.


Why the hell would you have a long distance relationship with someone you barely know? Did you meet on the internet or something?
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83534 posts
Posted on 1/25/17 at 7:49 am to
quote:

if he's looking for an out, he shouldn't have married her in the first place though



oh yeah, he definitely should have investigated this more earlier, no doubt

maybe something happened recently that caused him to have doubts about her
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