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re: Marital Advice

Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:49 pm to
Posted by mmtiger
South Louisiana
Member since Jan 2005
2892 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:49 pm to
coke and hookers evening will bring you great serenity, young grasshoppa.
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
38778 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:50 pm to
quote:

Not that there aren't other issues at play but can you honestly say you haven't been a bit of an a-hole because of work stress? 


I am not pulling my weight at home. If my job doesn't work out we lose 76% of our income. I need to let go of people and I don't want to. I might have reached my level of incompetence.

So good point I am probably bringing that home
Posted by cajunangelle
Member since Oct 2012
146709 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:55 pm to
when you say hoarder

a)




b)




c)



d)



hoard one item like OCD, hoard to the ceiling? or just pack rat and keep everything in your attic/basement?
Posted by Hangit
The Green Swamp
Member since Aug 2014
39111 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:55 pm to
quote:

If this shite means so much to your wife and MIL, they can rent a storage unit and keep it there.


I do not believe that the wife and MIL work. They cannot afford to rent a storage unit. If you have no income, you cannot rent things.

Posted by LSUA 75
Colfax,La.
Member since Jan 2019
3702 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:55 pm to
Toxic in-laws can put huge strain on a marriage,I know from experience.Sounds like the wife has a co-dependent relationship with her mother,typically these situations don’t get any better.Dudes between a rock and a hard place.
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
38778 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:56 pm to
Clean hoard packed in bins etc

And not full blown yet
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
38778 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 3:58 pm to
quote:

do not believe that the wife and MIL work. They cannot afford to rent a storage unit. If you have no income, you cannot rent things.


Mother in law is new money but never lost that lower middle class feeling. So almost unlimited resources but mostly smart with it.
Posted by Hulkklogan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Oct 2010
43299 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:00 pm to
shite

My grandmother is a bonafide hoarder and always gives us shite despite having been asked not to. These days we just take it, make sure it's not filthy, and donate it. If it's filthy but salvageable we clean it up and donate it. If it's ruined.. trash can.

This is just something that can easily be fixed if you're willing to work together.
Posted by cajunangelle
Member since Oct 2012
146709 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:01 pm to
so why not have a huge garage sale for MIL?
put on some big boy pants. firing people is part of life. when I first had to do it I was horrified and empathetic. Then the female I was firing said okay, and left she could have cared less.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:05 pm to
quote:

and left she could have cared less.


So she actually cared?
Posted by CoCo311
Anyone want my shirt??
Member since Jun 2012
16770 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:07 pm to
I’m thinking the MIL may have some hoarding issues, and is currently placing an emotional value on every object in her home, due to the loss of her husband (if I read correctly).

Sounds like your wife and her mom need some therapy to get over these issues. Is your wife at least aware of the fact that she is a hoarder?
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
38778 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:10 pm to
quote:

I’m thinking the MIL may have some hoarding issues, and is currently placing an emotional value on every object in her home, due to the loss of her husband (if I read correctly).



Yep - last place she was with husband

We find stuff she bought on sale and it is always I was going to give that someone

Posted by the LSUSaint
Member since Nov 2009
15444 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:14 pm to
quote:

10 years ago 2008 we are early 30s over extend in a house to be close to her mom in the Northeast and we both get laid off.

Fast forward we have recovered but too old for our own or adopted


Had my daughter at 38 and my son at 47 (wife was 40)
Posted by Blizzard of Chizz
Member since Apr 2012
19042 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:15 pm to
quote:

These days we just take it, make sure it's not filthy, and donate it. If


How is he gonna donate it if his wife is not onboard with it? She already refuses to compromise on getting a storage unit. Can’t see her going along with that..Bottom line is this, until wife and MIL are willing to compromise and either sell shite or place it in storage, the OP should not give up another inch of room in his house for her stuff. He already sacrificed his finished basement so the ball is in their court now.
Posted by Harry Morgan
Member since Sep 2019
9193 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:17 pm to
Posted by Cold Drink
Member since Mar 2016
3482 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:18 pm to
Go get the hotel. Sounds like she’s emotionally abusing you, intentionally or not, and you need some time away.
Posted by Hulkklogan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Oct 2010
43299 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:19 pm to
quote:

This is just something that can easily be fixed if you're willing to work together.



Good marriages require working together and parties must compromise (not saying he hasn't already - quite the opposite)


In my case, as an example, I had to tell my grandmother that we would not be bringing our child into her house because it's not safe. That was a brutal experience but you gotta do what you gotta do for your family.

OPs wife needs to tell her mom what's what regardless of how it's going to make her feel.
Posted by AtlantaLSUfan
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2009
23055 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:20 pm to
I travel for business. If I ever stop, I’ll make up a fake business trip. Have to get away every now and then for at least a night.

Cheap hotel for $50 will be like an oasis for you.
Posted by USMEagles
Member since Jan 2018
11811 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:23 pm to
quote:

We are going to hoarder this place and be miserable.


Saw a truck that said "College Hunks Hauling Junk" the other day.

Hadn't heard of them, but it does seem like they could solve both your problem and your wife's.
Posted by GeauxGutsy
Member since Jul 2017
4716 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:26 pm to
quote:

thelawnwranglers


Make it worthwhile since you will automatically be accused of cheating. IRL 8 should suffice.
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