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re: Marital Advice
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:33 pm to thelawnwranglers
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:33 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:this has to be up there among the dumbest reasons to fight with your spouse
Her widowed mom is struggling with a move to more suitable living situation because she is leaving last place she was with husband. Me and my wife are leaving our first house that was on verge of hoarder status to something more comfortable. Mom is trying to figure out how to push all her worthless stuff on us or anyone so she doesnt have to move on from it. My wife is agreeing to take things I think neither of us want to ease mom's feelings. We are going to hoarder this place and be miserable.
0
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:34 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
My wife is agreeing to take things I think neither of us want to ease mom's feelings. We are going to hoarder this place and be miserable.
Rent a storage unit to house these items to give you time to “figure out “ what to do with them
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:34 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
Her mom and sister
She is not respecting our family or that I don't care what her mom or sister think because they are not making decisions for us
Marriages fall apart usually become of these three things:
I don’t feel liked.
I don’t feel loved.
I don’t feel respected.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:34 pm to CaptSpaulding
quote:
you really want an honest opinion, you sound like an a-hole.
Probably true
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:34 pm to Booyow
quote:
Rent a storage unit to house these items to give you time to “figure out “ what to do with them
I suggested this
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:34 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
Her widowed mom is struggling with a move to more suitable living situation because she is leaving last place she was with husband. Me and my wife are leaving our first house that was on verge of hoarder status to something more comfortable. Mom is trying to figure out how to push all her worthless stuff on us or anyone so she doesnt have to move on from it. My wife is agreeing to take things I think neither of us want to ease mom's feelings. We are going to hoarder this place and be miserable.
Dude if this is the worst of yalls marriage you’re doing pretty good. It’s her mom and wether it makes sense or not to you it makes sense to her. Her personality is different then yours which means certain things will drive her to act/react in a certain way. Be understanding of that. Not saying you have agree with her. But how do you react to it? How was the conversation over dinner/wine about it?
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:35 pm to BowDownToLSU
quote:
I’ve been married for twenty years and I ignore half of her family drama I only get involved when i absolutely have too
This, (besides the “too”)
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:35 pm to Chucktown_Badger
quote:
having trouble following most of his posts. Half thoughts, bad grammar, scattered...
Fair
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:35 pm to Will Cover
quote:
Marriages fall apart usually become of these three things:
I don’t feel liked.
I don’t feel loved.
I don’t feel respected.
and money.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:36 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
She is trying to make her family happy and me happy, but I disagree with what her first family wants and she is in the middle
GET OUT NOW!!! If she can't put you and her first it's only going to get worse. Trust me on this.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:36 pm to thelawnwranglers
Her poor mom is dealing with something really tough and creating a Ghostbusters 2 level of bad emotion lava flow through all our lives
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:37 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
I pushed her to hard - then offered compromise Too late she isn't playing ball
So she’s kicking you out?
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:37 pm to Will Cover
quote:
The thing that most people do wrongly is thinking they need to fix the other person. Wrong. Must fix yourself first. Fighting or disagreements generally occur because most of us are selfish and/or bad communicators —- or don’t communicate with respect to one another.
I agree fully! That’s why I said about him being responsible. The problem is the other usually more dominant person does change the other person. To be more like them. Then they are left looking at themself and don’t like what they see. You have to fix yourself. Which my second comment about being different personalities is what I’m talking about. Odds are he doesn’t know what his wife’s personality or love language probably is so he is just slipping back to his own personality causing friction and issues rather then knowing how to communicate with her.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:38 pm to AU4real35
quote:
So she’s kicking you out?
No just I offered to move the thing her mom wanted at our house, and she was like no your an a-hole F you. I hope it burns
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:40 pm to LSUtiger89
quote:
LSUtiger89
Definitely not communicating well
Then external forces aka mom is forcing decision on things we have not worked out
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:40 pm to thelawnwranglers
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/16/20 at 2:45 pm
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:41 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
She is not respecting our family or that I don't care what her mom or sister think because they are not making decisions for us
Honestly, you dont have a complete family. You have no kids. So she spends her family time with ith er r family members.
Why no chance of kids? Is she unhappy about that?
It takes a lot more than just money to make a marriage work.
I dont know you, but reading your texts here, it sure seems like you are content with just providing $....making comments like "call me when we cant buy food"
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:43 pm to thelawnwranglers
She’s mad, you’re in the doghouse. You have to be more understanding, instead of an insensitive prick, like we all are sometimes.. Work on yourself, the things that set you off, your attitude, not to fix the marriage, but to be a better person. If she doesn’t want you to stay, at least you are working on being a better person.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:43 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
No kids
If you plan on having kids, go find someone else to do it with. It will only get more difficult with kids.
If you don’t want kids, try to work it out.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 2:48 pm to thelawnwranglers
What does she say when you ask “can we make a decision after we have had a chance to fully discuss it?”
If so have you set a time to fully discuss it?
Dinner and wine usually works with my wife. Find something that will work with yours to get conversation not arguing out.
And to the people saying if she is putting others before your marriage then get out...if she is a relationship (r type) personality then her main motivation is making people happy. You’re full of it. Don’t listen to them. She is probably this way. You just have to help her find a way that will make her mom happy while also working inside your wishes. You do that... you will be even that much stronger together.
If so have you set a time to fully discuss it?
Dinner and wine usually works with my wife. Find something that will work with yours to get conversation not arguing out.
And to the people saying if she is putting others before your marriage then get out...if she is a relationship (r type) personality then her main motivation is making people happy. You’re full of it. Don’t listen to them. She is probably this way. You just have to help her find a way that will make her mom happy while also working inside your wishes. You do that... you will be even that much stronger together.
This post was edited on 2/16/20 at 2:51 pm
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