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Message
re: Marital Advice
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:33 pm to thelawnwranglers
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:33 pm to thelawnwranglers
This may possibly be the most first world problems thread I have ever read.
I don’t have any advice other than to tell the OP that real problems can crush marriages. Cancer, deaths, unforeseen job loss, the list is long.
On the worst day, none of the problems I have read in here fall into any part of that list.
A comprise can be found some where in all of this. If it can’t, well at least you were lucky enough to see that the marriage was doomed with this petty stuff now and you didn’t delay the inevitable.
Good luck.
I don’t have any advice other than to tell the OP that real problems can crush marriages. Cancer, deaths, unforeseen job loss, the list is long.
On the worst day, none of the problems I have read in here fall into any part of that list.
A comprise can be found some where in all of this. If it can’t, well at least you were lucky enough to see that the marriage was doomed with this petty stuff now and you didn’t delay the inevitable.
Good luck.
This post was edited on 2/16/20 at 4:41 pm
2
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:36 pm to The People
quote:
This may possibly be the most white people problems thread I have ever read.
That's racist we are calling it first world problems
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:36 pm to The People
quote:
This may possibly be the most white people problems thread I have ever read.
What plagues black people marriages?
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:53 pm to USMEagles
quote:I saw them here. I thought they were local I guess they are national? It could help the MIL & wife
Saw a truck that said "College Hunks Hauling Junk" the other day.
Hadn't heard of them, but it does seem like they could solve both your problem and your wife's
Posted on 2/16/20 at 5:49 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
I need to let go of people and I don't want to. I might have reached my level of incompetence.
So you don’t want to give up something that you know you should? Sounds like you and MIL are in the same boat. Make sure you’re not taking out your frustration with yourself on someone else.
Your wife is serving as the battleground in a disagreement between her husband and her mother. That’s a tough spot for her.
Maybe share your work situation with MIL. Perhaps y’all can find your common ground (holding on to things that need to be let go and love for your wife) and work out a compromise where wife doesn’t have to be in the middle.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 6:49 pm to thelawnwranglers
Have your wife get a job to pay for all of the storage of her Mom's stuff. Once she realizes its going to cost "her" something she'll let it go.
I would hold firm on this one.
I would hold firm on this one.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 7:02 pm to PacLSU
quote:
Maybe share your work situation with MIL. Perhaps y’all can find your common ground (holding on to things that need to be let go and love for your wife) and work out a compromise where wife doesn’t have to be in the middle.
Ask MIL for one on one chat understand drama
Posted on 2/16/20 at 7:27 pm to thelawnwranglers
A woman that can go 10 years married without any interest in kids isn't right in the head.
There, I said it. It's going to piss off a bunch of people who are scared of kids, but it is what it is.
There, I said it. It's going to piss off a bunch of people who are scared of kids, but it is what it is.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 7:48 pm to thelawnwranglers
Just take the stuff and get rid of it. That's what my brother and I do when my parents want to give us stuff we don't want.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:02 pm to thelawnwranglers
Take a drive no explanation needed. Stay over at a friends for a few days she if gives a frick.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:35 pm to thelawnwranglers
Take the stuff, get a storage unit & wait it out a little. It will be easier for her to let go of that stuff after she’s moved. She just doesn’t want to be the one to do it. Take pictures of the things that mean the most to her. This is not worth breaking up over.
ETA: Don’t offer to rent storage, just do it. Then go through your own things and store some of that to make room. Tell her you don’t want her to be in pain or feel conflicted, that you understand she loves both of you. Yeah, it’s passive- aggressive, but she’ll understand the language.
ETA: Don’t offer to rent storage, just do it. Then go through your own things and store some of that to make room. Tell her you don’t want her to be in pain or feel conflicted, that you understand she loves both of you. Yeah, it’s passive- aggressive, but she’ll understand the language.
This post was edited on 2/16/20 at 8:52 pm
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:51 pm to thelawnwranglers
Sounds like this boils down to a borderline hatred of your MIL. You think she's manipulative, you've gone out of your way to accommodate her in the past and it led to financial disaster (your NE house), and even after all that you still haven't done enough for her. You resent her for it and your wife for not having the backbone to call a spade a spade.
Makes complete sense.
But your MIL isn't your wife and running away from your wife for a night isn't going to resolve anything. Y'all need to communicate better overall but especially in this situation. Middle ground...both of you need to find it. Don't be scared to call up the MIL yourself and let her know the problems she's causing if your wife is scared to say anything. Who knows....maybe MIL would agree to a storage unit.
Makes complete sense.
But your MIL isn't your wife and running away from your wife for a night isn't going to resolve anything. Y'all need to communicate better overall but especially in this situation. Middle ground...both of you need to find it. Don't be scared to call up the MIL yourself and let her know the problems she's causing if your wife is scared to say anything. Who knows....maybe MIL would agree to a storage unit.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:52 pm to thelawnwranglers
Go home and tell her you love her.
Tell her marriage is hard just like any close relationship. But that it’s not hard to know how much you care for her and she cares for you.
The rest is just details that you can figure out as you go along.
Tell her marriage is hard just like any close relationship. But that it’s not hard to know how much you care for her and she cares for you.
The rest is just details that you can figure out as you go along.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:53 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
I don't want it to be over just need to get away right now
There's a place in BR called The Cadillac Cafe that will help you forget about your troubles.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:55 pm to mmmmmbeeer
You need to Marriage counseling asap. Your problems are fixable if you both communicate your issues to each other.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:58 pm to thelawnwranglers
quote:
I don't want it to be over just need to get away right now
So you're a bitch.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:58 pm to Pilot Tiger
quote:
if she's unhappy to the point that you are going to stay in a hotel for the night, she's definitely enjoyed some other dick
That's remedial counseling, not even up to standards of Counseling 101.
Posted on 2/16/20 at 9:30 pm to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
Sounds like this boils down to a borderline hatred of your MIL.
Nailed it
I have a meeting set up with her
Posted on 2/16/20 at 9:35 pm to tgrbaitn08
Nothing bc they dont marry
Posted on 2/17/20 at 6:44 am to thelawnwranglers
And what was the reason your wife said no to a storage unit? What is her sister's role in all of this?
This is something that can be delayed for a little bit but needs to be taken care of before MIL dies. Because then she won't get rid of junk mail because "mom touched it".
This is something that can be delayed for a little bit but needs to be taken care of before MIL dies. Because then she won't get rid of junk mail because "mom touched it".
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