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re: Marital Advice

Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:33 pm to
Posted by The People
LSU Alumni
Member since Aug 2008
4207 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:33 pm to
This may possibly be the most first world problems thread I have ever read.

I don’t have any advice other than to tell the OP that real problems can crush marriages. Cancer, deaths, unforeseen job loss, the list is long.

On the worst day, none of the problems I have read in here fall into any part of that list.

A comprise can be found some where in all of this. If it can’t, well at least you were lucky enough to see that the marriage was doomed with this petty stuff now and you didn’t delay the inevitable.

Good luck.
This post was edited on 2/16/20 at 4:41 pm
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
38738 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:36 pm to
quote:

This may possibly be the most white people problems thread I have ever read.


That's racist we are calling it first world problems
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:36 pm to
quote:

This may possibly be the most white people problems thread I have ever read.


What plagues black people marriages?
Posted by cajunangelle
Member since Oct 2012
146498 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 4:53 pm to
quote:

Saw a truck that said "College Hunks Hauling Junk" the other day.

Hadn't heard of them, but it does seem like they could solve both your problem and your wife's
I saw them here. I thought they were local I guess they are national? It could help the MIL & wife

Posted by PacLSU
I have been a
Member since Sep 2003
3630 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 5:49 pm to
quote:

I need to let go of people and I don't want to. I might have reached my level of incompetence.


So you don’t want to give up something that you know you should? Sounds like you and MIL are in the same boat. Make sure you’re not taking out your frustration with yourself on someone else.

Your wife is serving as the battleground in a disagreement between her husband and her mother. That’s a tough spot for her.

Maybe share your work situation with MIL. Perhaps y’all can find your common ground (holding on to things that need to be let go and love for your wife) and work out a compromise where wife doesn’t have to be in the middle.
Posted by eitek1
Member since Jun 2011
2123 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 6:49 pm to
Have your wife get a job to pay for all of the storage of her Mom's stuff. Once she realizes its going to cost "her" something she'll let it go.

I would hold firm on this one.
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
38738 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 7:02 pm to
quote:

Maybe share your work situation with MIL. Perhaps y’all can find your common ground (holding on to things that need to be let go and love for your wife) and work out a compromise where wife doesn’t have to be in the middle.


Ask MIL for one on one chat understand drama
Posted by PrivatePublic
Member since Nov 2012
17848 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 7:27 pm to
A woman that can go 10 years married without any interest in kids isn't right in the head.

There, I said it. It's going to piss off a bunch of people who are scared of kids, but it is what it is.
Posted by MBclass83
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
9345 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 7:48 pm to
Just take the stuff and get rid of it. That's what my brother and I do when my parents want to give us stuff we don't want.
Posted by redfish99
B.R.
Member since Aug 2007
16408 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:02 pm to
Take a drive no explanation needed. Stay over at a friends for a few days she if gives a frick.
Posted by Tiger in the Sticks
Back in the Boot
Member since Jan 2007
1431 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:35 pm to
Take the stuff, get a storage unit & wait it out a little. It will be easier for her to let go of that stuff after she’s moved. She just doesn’t want to be the one to do it. Take pictures of the things that mean the most to her. This is not worth breaking up over.

ETA: Don’t offer to rent storage, just do it. Then go through your own things and store some of that to make room. Tell her you don’t want her to be in pain or feel conflicted, that you understand she loves both of you. Yeah, it’s passive- aggressive, but she’ll understand the language.
This post was edited on 2/16/20 at 8:52 pm
Posted by mmmmmbeeer
ATL
Member since Nov 2014
7419 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:51 pm to
Sounds like this boils down to a borderline hatred of your MIL. You think she's manipulative, you've gone out of your way to accommodate her in the past and it led to financial disaster (your NE house), and even after all that you still haven't done enough for her. You resent her for it and your wife for not having the backbone to call a spade a spade.

Makes complete sense.

But your MIL isn't your wife and running away from your wife for a night isn't going to resolve anything. Y'all need to communicate better overall but especially in this situation. Middle ground...both of you need to find it. Don't be scared to call up the MIL yourself and let her know the problems she's causing if your wife is scared to say anything. Who knows....maybe MIL would agree to a storage unit.

Posted by SECdragonmaster
Order of the Dragons
Member since Dec 2013
16169 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:52 pm to
Go home and tell her you love her.

Tell her marriage is hard just like any close relationship. But that it’s not hard to know how much you care for her and she cares for you.

The rest is just details that you can figure out as you go along.
Posted by jdd48
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2012
22054 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:53 pm to
quote:


I don't want it to be over just need to get away right now


There's a place in BR called The Cadillac Cafe that will help you forget about your troubles.
Posted by saderade
America's City
Member since Jul 2005
25726 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:55 pm to
You need to Marriage counseling asap. Your problems are fixable if you both communicate your issues to each other.
Posted by Broski
Member since Jun 2011
70761 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:58 pm to
quote:

I don't want it to be over just need to get away right now



So you're a bitch.
Posted by 6R12
Louisiana
Member since Feb 2005
8595 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 8:58 pm to
quote:

if she's unhappy to the point that you are going to stay in a hotel for the night, she's definitely enjoyed some other dick




That's remedial counseling, not even up to standards of Counseling 101.
Posted by thelawnwranglers
Member since Sep 2007
38738 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 9:30 pm to
quote:

Sounds like this boils down to a borderline hatred of your MIL.


Nailed it

I have a meeting set up with her

Posted by lsucoonass
shreveport and east texas
Member since Nov 2003
68446 posts
Posted on 2/16/20 at 9:35 pm to
Nothing bc they dont marry
Posted by Benne Wafer
Member since Jan 2015
400 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 6:44 am to
And what was the reason your wife said no to a storage unit? What is her sister's role in all of this?

This is something that can be delayed for a little bit but needs to be taken care of before MIL dies. Because then she won't get rid of junk mail because "mom touched it".
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