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re: man hitting on my wife at our community pool - how should I handle it?

Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:41 am to
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32993 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:41 am to
quote:


yes, I am bothered that a man at our family oriented pool thought it was OK to prey on my wife's emotions and insecurities about our child


the poor thing. Has she sought therapy from this traumatic event?
Posted by SouthernStyled
Member since Apr 2021
1307 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:42 am to
quote:

she brought the text to me because it made her uncomfortable


Is your wife 14? Does she have to bring everything that makes her uncomfortable to your attention?
Posted by Gee Grenouille
Bogalusa
Member since Jul 2018
7594 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:43 am to
quote:

Yes

I agree, however, our pool is very popular (been around since the mid 60’s and has a 3 to 5 year waiting list to get in as a member)

It is 100% “family focused” - one of the rules is no alcohol allowed inside

I am pretty sure that his family would have their membership revoked if I took this to the pool board


WTF kind of BS is this? Who could possibly enjoy that? You know you can buy your own pool right?
Posted by AUriptide
Member since Aug 2009
7459 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:46 am to
quote:

dcbl


She was flirting with him and it back fired on her and went too far.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
133615 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:49 am to
frick his autistic brother, to show dominance
Posted by NawlinsTiger9
Where the mongooses roam
Member since Jan 2009
38606 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:49 am to
Posted by TDFreak
Coast to Coast - L.A. to Chicago
Member since Dec 2009
9022 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:52 am to
quote:

If you trust your wife, you will have nothing to worry about.

But install a GPS tracker on her car just in case.


ETA: Damn, cgrand beat me to it on Page 8.
This post was edited on 7/18/21 at 11:56 am
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
106366 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:54 am to
quote:

really Belle?

she brought the text to me because it made her uncomfortable

she actually texted at the pool right after he suggested getting the kids together with a "hey, here is my number, let's talk and get the girls together" - and she got the creepy text before she got home

she immediately showed it to me

I do want to confront this guy, but I am not sure I would keep my cool...


Yes. Really.

Assuming she’s a grown arse woman, she could’ve responded and handled it. It wouldn’t be any issue for her to have said, “I know you said you were joking but I’m married and I’d appreciate you respecting that. Can you pass along my number to your wife so we can arrange that play date? Thanks so much and appreciate the offer for our kids to play together”.

If he continued to be creepy about it then she could’ve punted it you. And at that point you just need to address him directly, not take some passive aggressive “ban the family from the pool route”.
Posted by Tiger in Gatorland
Moonshine Holler
Member since Sep 2006
9528 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:55 am to
Well, by next weekend he'll be plowing your wife while you're sitting in the corner asking her if she's having fun and fetching them both some water for hydration.

In all seriousness, I think your wife brought it to you for a reason - that's the context of your relationship. She wants some protection from you. Not all women are like that, but yours is and that's ok. So you need to have a calm and firm talk with this guy and let him know you're aware and it will never happen again. Let him know you'll continue to observe his behaviors because the other families at the pool don't deserve it either. I hope you can keep your cool if you talk with him and he responds with something like, "what are you doing to do about it?" Also, no need to rush into resolving this....take some time and observe him, his behaviors, and such. Good luck.
Posted by Beef Tips
Member since Jan 2013
2884 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:55 am to
best advice, imo
Posted by dcbl
Good guys wear white hats.
Member since Sep 2013
31686 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:57 am to
quote:

I've asked him several times what did this long text say and he wont answer me....

I think he's just full of shite


here ya go - I needed to crop out his kid's name

I am 100% sure that he is hitting on her


This post was edited on 7/18/21 at 12:14 pm
Posted by madamsquirrel
The big somewhere out there
Member since Jul 2009
55097 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:57 am to
I would have told and shown my husband in case it escalated and because I prefer to expose creepers. But I would absolutely handle it myself and he would not interject unless I asked him to at some point. He would also not go out of his way to be friendly if he saw him at the pool.
Posted by GoT1de
Alabama
Member since Aug 2009
5041 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:58 am to
Tell the guy to stop hitting on your wife because her boyfriend is the jealous type.
Posted by dcbl
Good guys wear white hats.
Member since Sep 2013
31686 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:59 am to
quote:

you just need to address him directly, not take some passive aggressive “ban the family from the pool route”.


talking about what I might do and taking actions are 2 different things

yes, she is a grown arse woman and can handle this, does not stop me from wanting to do something though...
Posted by LSU fan 246
Member since Oct 2005
90567 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:59 am to
ok that dudes a legit creep
Posted by JudgeHolden
Gila River
Member since Jan 2008
18566 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:59 am to
Imma be honest.

He senses that you are not giving your wife what she needs emotionally. I don’t know if he is right or not. You need to answer that. But this bubba thinks so.
Posted by SECSolomonGrundy
Slaughter Swamp
Member since Jun 2012
18090 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:59 am to
Yeah he's telling your wife she is unappreciated and that he gives "mind numbing" massages. He needs his arse beat.
Posted by Beef Tips
Member since Jan 2013
2884 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 12:00 pm to
your wife- “you are right. that is completely inappropriate and I am happily married”
Posted by Champagne
Sabine Free State.
Member since Oct 2007
53727 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 12:00 pm to
Challenge him to a Sword Fight. Let him pick the toilet that you both pee in.
Posted by dcbl
Good guys wear white hats.
Member since Sep 2013
31686 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 12:02 pm to
she texted her name so he could call and set up a play date

pretty innocuous considering where she met him and under what circumstances

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