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Started By
Message
re: man hitting on my wife at our community pool - how should I handle it?
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:41 am to dcbl
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:41 am to dcbl
quote:
yes, I am bothered that a man at our family oriented pool thought it was OK to prey on my wife's emotions and insecurities about our child
the poor thing. Has she sought therapy from this traumatic event?
0
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:42 am to dcbl
quote:
she brought the text to me because it made her uncomfortable
Is your wife 14? Does she have to bring everything that makes her uncomfortable to your attention?
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:43 am to dcbl
quote:
Yes
I agree, however, our pool is very popular (been around since the mid 60’s and has a 3 to 5 year waiting list to get in as a member)
It is 100% “family focused” - one of the rules is no alcohol allowed inside
I am pretty sure that his family would have their membership revoked if I took this to the pool board
WTF kind of BS is this? Who could possibly enjoy that? You know you can buy your own pool right?
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:46 am to dcbl
quote:
dcbl
She was flirting with him and it back fired on her and went too far.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:49 am to dcbl
frick his autistic brother, to show dominance
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:49 am to fr33manator
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:52 am to DarthRebel
quote:But install a GPS tracker on her car just in case.
If you trust your wife, you will have nothing to worry about.
ETA: Damn, cgrand beat me to it on Page 8.
This post was edited on 7/18/21 at 11:56 am
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:54 am to dcbl
quote:
really Belle?
she brought the text to me because it made her uncomfortable
she actually texted at the pool right after he suggested getting the kids together with a "hey, here is my number, let's talk and get the girls together" - and she got the creepy text before she got home
she immediately showed it to me
I do want to confront this guy, but I am not sure I would keep my cool...
Yes. Really.
Assuming she’s a grown arse woman, she could’ve responded and handled it. It wouldn’t be any issue for her to have said, “I know you said you were joking but I’m married and I’d appreciate you respecting that. Can you pass along my number to your wife so we can arrange that play date? Thanks so much and appreciate the offer for our kids to play together”.
If he continued to be creepy about it then she could’ve punted it you. And at that point you just need to address him directly, not take some passive aggressive “ban the family from the pool route”.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:55 am to NawlinsTiger9
Well, by next weekend he'll be plowing your wife while you're sitting in the corner asking her if she's having fun and fetching them both some water for hydration.
In all seriousness, I think your wife brought it to you for a reason - that's the context of your relationship. She wants some protection from you. Not all women are like that, but yours is and that's ok. So you need to have a calm and firm talk with this guy and let him know you're aware and it will never happen again. Let him know you'll continue to observe his behaviors because the other families at the pool don't deserve it either. I hope you can keep your cool if you talk with him and he responds with something like, "what are you doing to do about it?" Also, no need to rush into resolving this....take some time and observe him, his behaviors, and such. Good luck.
In all seriousness, I think your wife brought it to you for a reason - that's the context of your relationship. She wants some protection from you. Not all women are like that, but yours is and that's ok. So you need to have a calm and firm talk with this guy and let him know you're aware and it will never happen again. Let him know you'll continue to observe his behaviors because the other families at the pool don't deserve it either. I hope you can keep your cool if you talk with him and he responds with something like, "what are you doing to do about it?" Also, no need to rush into resolving this....take some time and observe him, his behaviors, and such. Good luck.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:55 am to BluegrassBelle
best advice, imo
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:57 am to tgrbaitn08
quote:
I've asked him several times what did this long text say and he wont answer me....
I think he's just full of shite
here ya go - I needed to crop out his kid's name
I am 100% sure that he is hitting on her
This post was edited on 7/18/21 at 12:14 pm
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:57 am to BluegrassBelle
I would have told and shown my husband in case it escalated and because I prefer to expose creepers. But I would absolutely handle it myself and he would not interject unless I asked him to at some point. He would also not go out of his way to be friendly if he saw him at the pool.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:58 am to dcbl
Tell the guy to stop hitting on your wife because her boyfriend is the jealous type.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:59 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
you just need to address him directly, not take some passive aggressive “ban the family from the pool route”.
talking about what I might do and taking actions are 2 different things
yes, she is a grown arse woman and can handle this, does not stop me from wanting to do something though...
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:59 am to dcbl
Imma be honest.
He senses that you are not giving your wife what she needs emotionally. I don’t know if he is right or not. You need to answer that. But this bubba thinks so.
He senses that you are not giving your wife what she needs emotionally. I don’t know if he is right or not. You need to answer that. But this bubba thinks so.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 11:59 am to dcbl
Yeah he's telling your wife she is unappreciated and that he gives "mind numbing" massages. He needs his arse beat.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 12:00 pm to dcbl
your wife- “you are right. that is completely inappropriate and I am happily married”
Posted on 7/18/21 at 12:00 pm to dcbl
Challenge him to a Sword Fight. Let him pick the toilet that you both pee in.
Posted on 7/18/21 at 12:02 pm to tgrbaitn08
she texted her name so he could call and set up a play date
pretty innocuous considering where she met him and under what circumstances
pretty innocuous considering where she met him and under what circumstances
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