re: Louisiana woman shares photos of stillborn son on Facebook

Yea, the ways people deal w/ grief is almost as unique to them as their fingerprints.

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attention whoring is attention whoring regardless of the reason for it. Its in poor taste and leads to a pissing match with other attention whores. FB should disable the account. Woman shouldn't have posted it.

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My mom had one still birth (carried to term), 4 miscarriages, and another 5 or 6 false pregnancies. Granted, social media wasn't around when this occurred but she took the situation very hard and did not discuss the issue with anyone. Only her and my dad were at the burial of my brother.

It wasn't until she found out that a dear friend had pregnancy issues and was able to share her feelings with someone else that my mom fully came to grasp with the death and miscarriages.

So my mom went the reverse of attention whoring and struggled mightily with the situation. Perhaps had she been more public and forthcoming she would have had a bigger and more supportive group to help her though.

This is a billion times better than that hash tag shout out your abortion shite going around Facebook...

Nothing unusual about this. Facebook is a social network of friends, families and acquaintances. You share aspects of your life with those people. Child birth and child loss are significant events.

I've said before in other child loss threads, there is no way to understand the impact of losing a child if you've never experienced it.

When we were told our daughter would not survive and we had to make the decision to take her off of life support, we were connected to a nonprofit group that takes professional photos of babies who pass away.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Obviously don't click the link if you can't stomach tasteful and professional photos of a deceased infant. But I wanted to post their website because they are an incredible organization with an amazingly compassionate network of photographers who come to your home or the NICU and photograph your final moments with your child and provide those images free of charge.

If you ever have a few dollars to donate and wanted to give to a worthy cause, they are great.

Those photos are all we'll ever have of our daughter and we are so grateful to have them.

We shared a few on Facebook and did not receive any negative reaction. I've said before in these type threads that we can't and shouldn't avoid or suppress things that make us uncomfortable. The thought of child loss is incredibly uneasy to ponder but try to imagine how the parents feel. Think of how many photos of people's children are posted to FB and think how this photo will be the only one they can ever share of their child.

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Think of how many photos of people's children are posted to FB and think how this photo will be the only one they can ever share of their child.

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Yeah that is what I was thinking as well about parents that share those pics. Those are the only pictures they have of their baby. Unlike parents that lose a child when they are older, they don't have photos of the child while alive to share and remember. By sharing the pictures their friends and family can place a face to the baby instead of it being this mysterious thing that was never born. As long as the pictures are tasteful, I really don't see an issue. Don't follow that friend on fb if it bugs you so much. They are dealing with the hardest thing a parent can deal with, you can take the higher road and show some compassion and get over the ongoing trend of getting offended at everything.

Again, everyone grieves and copes with death differently. I'm sorry for you loss and for the jerks that downvoted your post.

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I don't see the issue. It's terribly sad and tragic and I don't know how I would react if it happened to me.

If they want to share it the pictures with friends and family, why should I care?

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Exactly.

If it helps her to grieve then who are we to judge.

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Yeah that is what I was thinking as well about parents that share those pics. Those are the only pictures they have of their baby. Unlike parents that lose a child when they are older, they don't have photos of the child while alive to share and remember. By sharing the pictures their friends and family can place a face to the baby instead of it being this mysterious thing that was never born. As long as the pictures are tasteful, I really don't see an issue. Don't follow that friend on fb if it bugs you so much. They are dealing with the hardest thing a parent can deal with, you can take the higher road and show some compassion and get over the ongoing trend of getting offended at everything.

Again, everyone grieves and copes with death differently. I'm sorry for you loss and for the jerks that downvoted your post.

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I'm used to the occasional downvote.

I do find it interesting how polarizing this topic is. There was the recent thread about a woman throwing a birthday party (where she collected toys for needy kids) for her deceased baby and the reactions were similar.

With so much outrage over SJWs who get offended about every little thing, it seems lots of people really have no reservations about expressing their outrage over people outwardly grieving a loss and the discomfort it causes.

As I've said before, the loss of a loved one is difficult but the loss of a child is an unimaginable tragedy. People just don't want to think about it or acknowledge it because it is such an uncomfortable topic. I get it. But that avoidance of the topic causes unnecessary isolation for grieving parents.

Again, sharing that pain (on a social media site comprised of friends, family and acquaintances) is helpful and affirms the day to day struggle of child loss.

I saw the dreaded "attention whore" label used in a post. Maybe it is. But so what? These people need attention and love and compassion and they won't get it when everyone is so damn scared of facing the death of a child that they avoid grieving parents.

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What sucks is a family that works hard and wants a kid so bad....but can't have them...

Then you have ladies that drink and smoke and do drugs and pop them out every year or get abortions. How is that fair?

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It's not. My wife and I lost our son at 24 weeks after premature birth. He lived for 30 minutes and passed.

We haven't been there same since. We are trying to conceive again but we are having issues. The wife is getting depressed because we can't get it to work and she thinks we lost our only shot.


The shite fricking sucks. Point being, people grieve differently. To this day its hard for me to be around other peoples newborns.

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It's not. My wife and I lost our son at 24 weeks after premature birth. He lived for 30 minutes and passed. We haven't been there same since. We are trying to conceive again but we are having issues. The wife is getting depressed because we can't get it to work and she thinks we lost our only shot. The shite fricking sucks. Point being, people grieve differently. To this day its hard for me to be around other peoples newborns.

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So sorry to hear that, brother!

I know that feeling. For us, we didn't get married until we were in our early 30s and were fortunate to have a healthy son in 2011. We are now both 39 and the window is already all but closed without great risk for complications for my wife and a child. She's really bummed about it too.

I also understand your feelings about seeing newborns. It's like everyone in our lives have had a healthy baby in the last year and to see their joy, we're crushed with envy.

I remember walking out of the hospital after our daughter passed. We were numb. There was a car parked by the admission entrance. It was a very young couple -- kids really. I don't imagine they were married (but I suppose they could have been) She was in labor and as she was being loaded into a wheel chair, I made eye contact with her boyfriend. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there with her in that moment.

Obviously I was projecting my feelings of loss on to him, somewhat -- but I just thought how many people look at kids as a burden or an after-thought. Maybe I did at some point in my life, so I won't judge. It is just so unfair that so many wonderful, loving couples are unable to conceive and so many dipshits and losers are just popping healthy babies out left and right.

Nature is cruel sometimes.

Cleve, thanks for the info on the organization. Am planning to apply to volunteer for them. Worked as an NICU nurse for years and witnessed too many losses. This organization is making a big difference. I'm sure. Again thanks.