Kids being dragged down by their parents

Frick that.
My kids didn’t ask to be born. They are my responsibility and I brought them into this world to have a better life than I did.

My father was a drunk Canadian midget who’s only hobby was getting hammered and then climbing trees to smoke darts

Sometimes you need to set boundaries or cut ties, even if it is with your parents. Sucks, but you don't need someone dragging you down.

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he also has to support other worthless family members

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so its not just the parents who are the problem? interesting thread title considering your post.

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Anyone here deal with similar situations?

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My mom thinks it's her place to try and fix the lives of her shitty siblings and random cousins and the like. Her sister lives with her now. I remember when I was a kid that she would take in relatives and friends all the time to try and help them out. Most ended up staying for very extended amounts of time and nearly all ended up bad. Like one of her cousins stole something like $7k worth of jewelry from her. One friend ended up having to go through the legal eviction process because she just wouldn't leave or get a job.

It's sad. My brother and I have had numerous talks with her about it over the years. I really start to worry about it now with her getting up in age and her mental function has started to decline. But she won't hear any of it. She claims she likes to "help people".

My parents are too proud for that, but my bros and I have all financially ascended to the point where we could and would pay for their care and feeding if it came down to it.

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It is not my place to tell them what to do, but it is so sad to see these young girls having opportunities slip away.

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It is hard to watch this. It's even harder when you're in that position.

I had a lot of crazy ambitions as a child. My mother did her best, but she was single and burnt out and told me no. Many times, a no was warranted, but many more it might have been better to humor me. I think she was so used to being poor that it became part of her identity. The first time I flew in an airplane was long after I was an adult. When I told her what I wanted to do with my life I was often scoffed at.

I don't think it was a lack of her belief, I think she just thought certain things were out of reach for people of our status. Not extravagant things either, just basic things like a house with more than one bathroom, vacations, etc. It was how she was raised.

Consequently, I think children of people like that can also adopt it as normal. You have to shed a lot of yourself to realize both that your parents tried their best and loved you, but they also didn't know what the frick they were doing.

It's a sad thing to be a part of, and when I see it from the outside as well I can only watch. Either someone realizes they are being held back or they make every excuse in the book to keep being held back.

Edit - My mom let it slip last time we saw her that she only has about $100k socked away for retirement. She is close to retirement age. I worry about that often.

I see the same thing. More in the African American (but also some in the anglo) community.

Bad spot to be in. My mom is 87, but only has SS and a small pension. She breaks even every month, but has 4 kids that are able to kick in here and there to help out (pay for yard mowing, etc.).

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Her dad said "Well, yall won't come back. It's beautiful up there. I can't wait to visit."

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My dad was diagnosed with an illness 15 years ago that we knew was going to destroy his hearing. Instead of learning sign language in those 15 years, he decided to just pout and now is unable to communicate with anybody.

My parents, while they provided for me growing up, they are really disappointing people.