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re: Is there a secret you were going to take to your grave?

Posted on 7/25/24 at 8:30 am to
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
130041 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 8:30 am to
I don't think they put you in jail for fricking a sheep, baw
Posted by upgrade
Member since Jul 2011
13951 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 8:35 am to
quote:

I want to be cremated and I knew my family would be against it.


I told my wife this about a year ago or so. She freaked out. She said no way. I don’t really care that much. Just figured I would save my family some money.
Posted by upgrade
Member since Jul 2011
13951 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 8:41 am to
quote:

I had picked up a girl at a bar named Dawn


There’s a bar named Dawn?
Posted by ThePoo
Work
Member since Jan 2007
60858 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 9:22 am to
quote:

Okay, senior year of high school, in miss...I don't recall her name but she was a chunky blonde, in her math class, some dude was messing with me. We had to do some busy work. And I decided I was going to frick with him back.
wait, where does the chunky blonde fit into this story?

you mention this girl then immediately pivot to the dude that was messing with you, blonde never heard from again

Posted by SouthEndzoneTiger
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2008
11031 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 9:34 am to
quote:

Okay, senior year of high school, in miss...I don't recall her name but she was a chunky blonde, in her math class, some dude was messing with me. We had to do some busy work. And I decided I was going to frick with him back.


If you re-wrote this in poem form, do we get to see how the blonde fits into the story?
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
130041 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 9:44 am to
quote:

If you re-wrote this in poem form, do we get to see how the blonde fits into the story?


The chunky blonde teacher,
Her skirts were skin tight,
Her shoulder length hair,
It made my angle right,
Her arse like a rhombus,
Her shape geometric,
I'd like to divide her,
I'd be teacher's pet, shite,
Alas I can't even,
Remember her name,
Just that arse in her class,
What a waste. What a shame,


Posted by Tear It Up
The Deadening
Member since May 2005
13809 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 9:51 am to
Hell no.

I still deny doing dumb shite from when I was in HS back in 1997
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
102240 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 9:57 am to
I was supposed to be watching my year old nephew. I put him down on the bed and got engrossed in a football game on TV. Next thing I knew he had rolled off the bed and was screaming on the floor. He wasn't hurt and I never told anybody.
This post was edited on 7/25/24 at 10:16 am
Posted by Rex Feral
Member since Jan 2014
14632 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 9:58 am to
When I was 5 or 6, I got a cap gun for Christmas. I was swinging it around my finger and it flew off, hit the ground, and broke. I blamed it breaking on my friend Josh. My parents told his dad who promptly beat the shite out of him and made me a new wooden gun that shot rubber bands.
This post was edited on 7/25/24 at 10:22 am
Posted by CAD703X
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
86743 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 10:41 am to


Shades of a Christmas story
Posted by Bro Dad
Used to live in LaPlass
Member since Feb 2015
884 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 10:49 am to
quote:

Okay, I'll talk. In third grade I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade I stole my Uncle Max's toupe and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew school play. In fifth grade I knocked my sister Edith down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. Then my mom sent me to...to a summer camp for fat kids. And at third lunch I got nuts and I pigged out, and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theatre, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony, and then, then I made a noise like this. Huagh. Huagh. Huagh. Huaaah! And, and then I dumped it over the side on all the people in the audience. Then, th-then then this was horrible, all the people started getting sick, and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.


If you typed that from memory I'd say that's impressive.
Posted by Bama Bird
Member since Dec 2011
Member since Mar 2013
21769 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 10:55 am to
I was 10 iirc and at my cousin's birthday party. We were all playing laser tag and it was pitch black of course. I was coming slowly around a corner with my gun out and this dumbass girl ran right into it at full speed. We were all warned against running beforehand and I literally did nothing wrong. I apologized but after it was over I overheard the dad say "I just want to find out which punk hurt my daughter!". Girl was crying. And then a week later my cousin informed me she "had broken her nose because someone he was running".

This was in the early 2000s so idk about cameras or whatnot to confirm my side, but it's probably the first time in my life I understood the true nuances of honesty
Posted by Rockbrc
Attic
Member since Nov 2015
8821 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 11:05 am to
Two punch bowls at my brother’s wedding reception-one containing alcohol and the other one without alcohol. My teetotaler grandma was in attendance and I kept taking her punch from the alcohol bowl. She loved it-I fought back the laughter after that whenever she said she had never had a drink of alcohol. Gotta have a few more deaths in the family before I fess up
Posted by WhuckFistle
Member since Jul 2015
3217 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 11:12 am to
I did a full spread for a magazine, I mean full spread. I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude.
Posted by Master of Sinanju
Member since Feb 2012
11639 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 11:21 am to
quote:

I did a full spread for a magazine, I mean full spread. I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude.


Link?
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4821 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 11:34 am to
That’s hot. Did you have a Brazilian wax or go natural?
Posted by LRB1967
Tennessee
Member since Dec 2020
21136 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 11:36 am to
I was the kid who put the cherry bomb in the school furnace.
Posted by ItzMe1972
Member since Dec 2013
11415 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 11:37 am to
I'm D.B. Cooper.
Posted by AwesomeSauce
Das Boot
Member since May 2015
10826 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 11:42 am to
quote:

miss...I don't recall her name but she was a chunky blonde, in her math class,
I think he was talking about the teacher, not a student. I read it as "senior year of high school in Mississippi" as well, but he did have a comma and the Miss is a prefix not a state abbreviation. The chunky blonde is a teacher whose name he can't recall.
Posted by tylerlsu2008
Monaco
Member since Jul 2015
1477 posts
Posted on 7/25/24 at 12:03 pm to
quote:

The chunky blonde teacher,
Her skirts were skin tight,
Her shoulder length hair,
It made my angle right,
Her arse like a rhombus,
Her shape geometric,
I'd like to divide her,
I'd be teacher's pet, shite,
Alas I can't even,
Remember her name,
Just that arse in her class,
What a waste. What a shame,


So hittable without feeling shameful after chunky?
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