re: Is it upsetting to hear that a couple doesn't want children?

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now wanted to be a Jew

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Oh shite. Golden Nugget's alarm just went off. And you thought this thread was a troll shite storm before.

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I think it would be a bit silly for someone to try to convince someone who is away 67% of the year to reproduce.

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I can convince him to let me give him a buttbaby.

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Well let me change that, something that is somewhat out of her control could end the relationship.

This isn't "baby I won't cheat on you, let's get married." Everyone says that and probably most of them follow through on it. It's reasonable to rely on that if it is coming from a generally honest person.

But I just don't think the "I don't want kids" promise from a 27 year old woman on the verge of marriage is going to have a very high follow-through rate.

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Fair enough.

I said this earlier but it still applies:


I think if I went in to more detail about her upbringing and her relationship with her parents and siblings (which isn't a bad one, but is unique) it would create a better understanding of why she doesn't want children. Add in the career aspect and it's a very clear picture.

I certainly have no interest in children. That could change. I could see myself going either way by the time I'm 35. But as for her... it seems like such a remote possibility that I have a difficult time figuring out how she would even arrive at the idea of children.

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I can't help you anymore, sorry.

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what makes you think you've helped me at all

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That works both ways. Any person can change in any way, if we want to go there.

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The point is that it's an inherently unreliable pledge.

Yeah I'm not prying for info on yalls stuff, I'm really just replying to the concepts more than your situation generally.

You've convinced me that your scenario may legitimately work out as you expect, although I still think you recognize the inherent shifts that happen on this subject and have acknowledged them.

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The same thing that made you think you were helping me earlier. Just repeating your posts back to you.

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Oh, I see. That was very clever of you.

I didn't intend to be cocky.

I'm young, I have a very attractive face, good hair, a good smile, a great physique (that I spend a lot of time on - I'm actually about to head to the gym now and work on my chest and back). I'm pretty smart and have a good job/make good money, and I drive a nice car. I feel like I can make women smile and have a good sense of humor.

I honestly think I would make your wife really happy. Not long term of course because I'm not interested in that, but at least for one night. Consider it. Not for me of course, I already have a beautiful fiance, but for her. It'd be a nice thing to do for her.

NY MAG

this will happen to your fiance at some point in the future.

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Cocky? How so?

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Because You're a cock and you like cock .

I love reading accounts from parents who are honest about their regrets/experiences. I think it gives a less biased view. Even if you decide to have kids, I think everyone should look deeper into it. It seems that some people who do have kids didn't really think deeply about it. And that is sad, for the kid.

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Parenthood is just not what I expected it to be. I mean people told me that you have to make sacrifices when you become a parent but because I had never really made any sacrifices before having her, I had no idea what that might entail or feel like. I also thought I wouldn't mind missing out on all the partying and holidays because I would have the ultimate gift, a child but I have found that also to be untrue. I do mind missing out on the partying and holidays.. Before I had her I always wanted 3 children, now 1 is enough for me, I don't want anymore.
Like I said I wouldn't use the word regret but if I could have taken a glimpse into what parenthood really, really is like before I fell pregnant, I would have been a lot more careful.

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I hate that I continuously have to sacrifice everything that I used to love about life now that I have a kid

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I also used to love just talking to my wife or being able to hear my own thoughts. With a kid in the house those moments get increasingly rare. It's like we're not allowed to talk to each other.

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The first time I read the quoted thread, that line stuck with me the most.

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Traveling and holidays used to be fun. With a kid it's mostly a continuous struggle. There is no daycare so one or both of you is constantly doing the kid. You don't get to see your partner alone or just chill together. Oh and everything is 50% more expensive. The first holiday we booked after we had our son was to Sri Lanka. We were supposed to be there for a little over two weeks but with the baby it was such a shite sandwich that four days in we got online and spent $600 extra to change our tickets and fly home. What should have been a wonderful two week holiday became a very expensive four days of hell.
And all of that is just me and my selfish needs. I haven't even started about the stress of trying to be a good parent. That's a whole other level of difficulty in your life.

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The worst part about for me is that it doesn't end. This is hard to convey to people who don't have kids. A kid is awake for 14 hours a day, so even with daycare which costs a fortune, they take up 8 hours of your day every day when they don't take the full 14. It's fricking relentless.

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