re: Is it upsetting to hear that a couple doesn't want children?

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I dont understand this need to drop your beliefs because someone else changed their mind.

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No one said you need to.

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Get a vasectomy now so so one tells you "I told you so."

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There's this really strange and ironic thing that's taken place in this thread.

It's not people trying to convince me to have children, it's people trying to convince me that I will have children.

I've maintained from the beginning that it could happen, I just see it as very unlikely for a variety of reasons.

My goal isn't to prove people wrong by my not having children. If it's meant to be, it will happen. I just don't see it happening.

cue people telling me it will happen

People give my gf and i shite all the time. I can't stand kids and she's the same way. We want to save our money, see the world, and enjoy life. We don't want kids or even want to entertain the thought bc we both know it'll be a mistake.

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I don't care. The amount of cockiness in your responses in threads like these is hilarious though.

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Cocky? How so?

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Then marriage may not be for you yet.

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What? That is completely false. Children are the one big thing that is known to be a dealbreaker. You marry someone with the same beliefs as you and you trust/hope they remain that way. If they change their minds, obviously you divorce because you now have an incompatibility that cannot be solved with a compromise.

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Cocky? How so?

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Yep, I'm definitely the retard here.

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Nobody here really gives a frick whether you have kids or not

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...I used to think that. I'm not so sure anymore

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What? That is completely false.

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No it isn't. You better be ready to commit to the person you're marrying and any decisions they may make before you sign that contract.

Betting that your SO is going to defy the odds isn't a wise bet.

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You marry someone with the same beliefs as you and you trust/hope they remain that way. If they change their minds, obviously you divorce because you now have an incompatibility that cannot be solved with a compromise.

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He hasn't said kids are a deal breaker, so that's not really at issue here.

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Then you enter the relationship/marriage knowing that something largely out of your control could derail the relationship and end the marriage.

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Am I on crazy pills? Is every marriage not entered with this premise? I mean, my SO might decide to find the lord when he turns 45, but all I can do is take what I've known of him for the past 6-7 years and trust that he won't.

That is all any of us can do. I mean, your wife might decide she doesn't want to be a mother anymore and bail on you/your kids (it happens). That doesn't stop you from taking that risk.

That works both ways. Any person can change in any way, if we want to go there.

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You enter every relationship knowing that something largely out of your control could derail the relationship and end the marriage.

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Well let me change that, something that is somewhat out of her control could end the relationship.

This isn't "baby I won't cheat on you, let's get married." Everyone says that and probably most of them follow through on it. It's reasonable to rely on that if it is coming from a generally honest person.

But I just don't think the "I don't want kids" promise from a 27 year old woman on the verge of marriage is going to have a very high follow-through rate.