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re: Is it logical to get married and not have kids?
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:07 am to KG6
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:07 am to KG6
quote:
Totally agree with this, but I think it's just hard for parents to understand not wanting kids. I'll still travel in my life and get to do my hobbies. I realize I'm lucky to be able to afford that. But if you gave me the choice to go back and not have kids, or have kids and never get to leave the county I live in again, I'd choose having kids. I realize it's not for everyone, but the whole "I want to live my life without being tied down by a kid" is completely lost on those who want kids. I mean we are wired to think that way.
Well said. The idea that kids are a burden you're better off without is not going to make sense to a good parent.
0
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:08 am to KG6
quote:
Now this isn't meant to say you are wrong for not wanting kids, just hard for others to understand.
its hard for parents to understand because their kids bring them so much joy, its hard to understand why someone would not want that
but I guess if you never experience it, then you will never regret not experiencing it
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:10 am to nugget
Me and my wife are 33
october will be 10 yrs married
We have no kids, and have never tried. But we have talked about maybe this year seeing what happens.
october will be 10 yrs married
We have no kids, and have never tried. But we have talked about maybe this year seeing what happens.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:10 am to slackster
quote:
Not saying that is the case with DisplacedBuckeye, but in general that is my experience. I find that those who are childless by choice seem to fail to grasp that.
I have no idea what kind of father I'd be. It's just not something I've ever thought about because it would be a waste of time for me.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:10 am to DisplacedBuckeye
quote:
Trust me, you aren't. I often regret that my wife and I are robbing the gene pool,
quote:
Where did I say anything about burdens on my personal freedoms? If I gave a frick about that, I wouldn't be married.
I assume that was the case because I've never heard another reason from a married couple who didn't want kids. It is always because they're doing something else and a kid will get in the way, in essence.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:13 am to Salmon
quote:
kids bring them so much joy, its hard to understand why someone would not want that
Kids are awesome. They're like having a puppy that slowly learns how to talk.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:18 am to slackster
quote:
I assume that was the case because I've never heard another reason from a married couple who didn't want kids. It is always because they're doing something else and a kid will get in the way, in essence.
Nope, not for us. When I was a young, broke Marine that was deployed about 80% of the time that would have been an easy excuse to make. That wasn't it. We just don't want kids. It's really that simple for us.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:18 am to nugget
quote:
Is it logical to get married and not have kids?
no, if you are not going to have kids, then why get married. Unless, the wife makes $$$$$$$ and you make $. In that case, lock her up long term. However, if I made $$$$$$$$$$$ and the wife didn't make sh*t, she can stay my GF for all I care.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:43 am to lsunurse
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being married and not having kids.
If you and your spouse seek to experience life by traveling and seeking out things to do, go for it. There is a ton out there to see
If you and your spouse seek to experience life by traveling and seeking out things to do, go for it. There is a ton out there to see
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:46 am to SabiDojo
No big deal if get married and you don’t want kids, but be 100% sure your future spouse doesn’t want them either and is as resolute as you are in that desire.
The best path for me was to get married in my late 20s, buy a starter house (just did that), finish my MBA and get my career on a solid trajectory (working on this), then have kids around 31/32. FAMILY PLANNING is an enormously important aspect. We know when we’ll try to have kids, how many we will want, where we’ll want them to go to school, etc. We also know we don’t want them now so she religiously takes birth control.
The best path for me was to get married in my late 20s, buy a starter house (just did that), finish my MBA and get my career on a solid trajectory (working on this), then have kids around 31/32. FAMILY PLANNING is an enormously important aspect. We know when we’ll try to have kids, how many we will want, where we’ll want them to go to school, etc. We also know we don’t want them now so she religiously takes birth control.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:48 am to fr33manator
quote:
Your genetic line coming to a screeching halt and being replaced by idiots that breed prolifically.
As opposed to your genetic line eventually becoming filled with idiots that breed prolifically?
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:54 am to Fat and Happy
quote:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being married and not having kids.
If you and your spouse seek to experience life by traveling and seeking out things to do, go for it. There is a ton out there to see
Yep.
I've been married 7 years, we are both in our 40s. We both like kids, but never wanted any of our own. We enjoy our life a lot and don't feel incomplete in any way. We have two awesome golden retrievers, we have friends with kids and we get to be the cool aunt and uncle that spoils them.
I've often wondered how many people have kids simply because they are pressured to do so. Or they feel like having kids will save their marriage. Or make them more "complete". I can't imagine having kids as the solution for any of those issues. Kids are a HUGE commitment. And looking at the general population today, I'd say the percentage of shitty parents is at an all time high.
And to those who say the sole purpose of getting married is to have kids: get the frick out of here with that irrational bullshite. Marriage is a sacred pact between two people who agree to commit to each other exclusively for the rest of their lives. That's it. It's a religious and legal bond between two people who want to be together.
Being boyfriend/girlfriend just isn't the same as marriage. Getting up there and pledging your vows before God and everybody really does change something in the relationship. (or is should anyway). Keeping boyfriend/girlfriend status makes it too easy to have one foot out the door.
It's like renting vs owning. You'll always take better care of something you own vs something you rent.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:55 am to nugget
One of the most illogical things I've ever heard of. You do it for the kids. Marriages aren't meant to last and y'all will end up cheating on each other l. Over time, the cute little things your wife does that attract you to her will become annoyances. This is amplified when the kids leave for college. Then you get raped in divorce court because the game is rigged. I believe every couple should have prenups signed by both sides
I want to have kids but no wife
I want to have kids but no wife
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 9:02 am
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:56 am to Salmon
quote:
I have no idea why anyone would get married if they didn't want kids.
Love?
Exemption from estate tax?
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:57 am to nugget
It's not even logical to get married these days
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:58 am to torrey225
just my opinion
If me and my wife didn't want kids, we wouldn't be married right now
we'd still be together, I just don't see the point in marriage with no kids
obviously many will have a different opinion
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:02 am to Upperdecker
quote:
People usually grow up and decide they actually want kids.
I'm the opposite. Always talked about having kids, but the older I get, the less I'm interested in having them.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:05 am to nugget
I have two aunts that have been married for longer than I've been alive and never has kids. Seems to work for them.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:10 am to Seldom Seen
quote:
have two aunts that have been married for longer than I've been alive and never has kids.
Well no shite. You need an uncle in the equation.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:11 am to slackster
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