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re: Is it logical to get married and not have kids?

Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:18 am to
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91838 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:18 am to
quote:

Exemption from estate tax?


all those estates between $5.4 and $10.8 million need to find a spouse.

Hell, you can argue that the only reason your estate is that high is because you're unmarried.
Posted by Pelfan8104
BRLA
Member since Jun 2015
95 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:18 am to
quote:

The woman at some point is going to change her mind and want kids and you will be too invested at that point to say no.


That probably does happen a lot.
I think both people need to agree before going into it.
It sucks when 1 changes their mind and 1 doesn't.

I could be persuaded either way. I love the idea of having someone to travel with, to pick up at a moment's notice and go somewhere, no strings.
But also love the idea of being a parent. Kids are fun.
Ideally, 1 or 2 kids would be great. But if I married someone who didn't want this, I'd be ok with that too.
Posted by Breesus
Unplug
Member since Jan 2010
69549 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:24 am to
quote:

I'm 24


Ok. Grow up, graduate, get a real job, find a woman you love more than anything, then come back and read your OP. You'll realize how young and stupid you were.
Posted by Blue Velvet
Apple butter toast is nice
Member since Nov 2009
20112 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:35 am to
Posted by nugget
Abrego Garcia Fan
Member since Dec 2009
15732 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 9:58 am to
quote:

Grow up

Well at least I can see other people's point of view

quote:

graduate

Thank God it didn't take me 6 years to graduate, I'm 24

quote:

get a real job,

Got it

quote:

realize how young and stupid you were.


Seems like there are a lot of people in this thread that had the same feelings I do, never changed, and now enjoy their decision.

Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:23 am to
quote:

I assume that was the case because I've never heard another reason from a married couple who didn't want kids. It is always because they're doing something else and a kid will get in the way, in essence.


You've been presented with numerous reasons but chose to ignore them because you (for some odd reason) want people to feel obligated to have children.

Some couples know that with their current jobs and/or lifestyles, they wouldn't be able to devote the time necessary to properly raise a child. Because of this, they choose not to have children. Other people feel that even with the requisite availability, they don't have the proper temperament to raise a child. Some people simply don't like children and can't imagine having to raise them. We could go on and on.

There are many reasons to want or not want a child. Having a child because other people pressure you into it, or because you feel that it's just a given part of life, is the worst reason to have a child. So basically your trying to convince people that they are in the wrong for not wanting children, runs counter to any notion that those who could be convinced to have children would be doing it for the right reasons.

You shouldn't attempt to convince someone to have children, any more than you would attempt to convince someone to love you. It doesn't work that way. It's probably even worse, because the first scenario has absolutely nothing to do with you.
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 10:32 am
Posted by jvilletiger25
jacksonville, fl
Member since Jan 2014
20872 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:28 am to
I have two kids with my ex-wife. I want to be remarried one day, but idk if I want more kids. I probably will though. When you really love someone, you can't help but to want to have kids (at least for me). There's no greater feeling than knowing that child is a part of you and a part of the woman you love.


I will say this, I wish I waited until my 30s to have kids.
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 10:35 am
Posted by rocket31
Member since Jan 2008
41887 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:30 am to
No one under with any rational thinking mind would ever get married.

Even monogamy is a bluepilled delusion.

In 20 years people will lol at the married. I lol now but I'm non primitive and highly functional
Posted by LSU fan 246
Member since Oct 2005
90567 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:31 am to
quote:

Seems like there are a lot of people in this thread that had the same feelings I do, never changed, and now enjoy their decision.



ive got about 10 years on you and I havent changed my mind since i was your age. i have no desire to have kids right now and i dont know if that will ever change.

dont have kids because the world tells you to have them. that decision is 10x worse than decided not to have kids
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
91838 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:33 am to
quote:

Seems like there are a lot of people in this thread that had the same feelings I do, never changed, and now enjoy their decision. 


People are being blunt with you because you're 24. The majority of 24 year olds don't want kids, but lo and behold, as they grow up, that changes for the majority.

You may be in the minority who stays in the childless camp, but there is an overwhelming likelihood that you'll change your mind. It is perfectly normal in fact.

Also, I think some people are selling children short. There are no amount of vacations or "freedom" that can replace the memories you make with your children. Don't get me wrong, they're hard work, they aren't for everyone, and they won't fix anything in your relationship, but that doesn't mean they're a damn anchor holding you back. If you do it properly it can open up and entirely new part of you that simply isn't attainable without children.

Posted by DisplacedBuckeye
Member since Dec 2013
76732 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:34 am to
quote:

Seems like there are a lot of people in this thread that had the same feelings I do, never changed, and now enjoy their decision.


Yep. Don't let people like that sway you. I know a lot of people with kids that get offended simply because I say I don't want them. I can't count how many times I've been told I'll change my mind when I'm older. It's never going to happen and some people just can't accept that for whatever reason.

One thing has changed since I've gotten older. I no longer discuss it with people that I know. We aren't having kids is about as far as I go in real-life conversation. Too often, parents get emotional and take what I say as a slight against them or their kids. I don't need that in my life.
Posted by rocket31
Member since Jan 2008
41887 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:36 am to
quote:

There's no greater feeling than knowing that child is a part of you and a part of the woman you love. 



fricking lol.

Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:37 am to
I've never seen someone fight so hard to convince people to have children. It's peculiar. It really is.

I may or may not have have children, but some dude bitching about it on TD isn't going to be the deciding factor.
Posted by DisplacedBuckeye
Member since Dec 2013
76732 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:40 am to
quote:

People are being blunt with you because you're 24. The majority of 24 year olds don't want kids, but lo and behold, as they grow up, that changes for the majority.

You may be in the minority who stays in the childless camp, but there is an overwhelming likelihood that you'll change your mind. It is perfectly normal in fact.

Also, I think some people are selling children short. There are no amount of vacations or "freedom" that can replace the memories you make with your children. Don't get me wrong, they're hard work, they aren't for everyone, and they won't fix anything in your relationship, but that doesn't mean they're a damn anchor holding you back. If you do it properly it can open up and entirely new part of you that simply isn't attainable without children.


Sweet propaganda.
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:41 am to
quote:

One thing has changed since I've gotten older. I no longer discuss it with people that I know. We aren't having kids is about as far as I go in real-life conversation. Too often, parents get emotional and take what I say as a slight against them or their kids. I don't need that in my life.


I find it really odd when parents lecture people about not wanting children. I personally haven't decided either way (my fiance is on the fence as well). It's almost as if they are bitter about the whole thing. Like "what makes you think you can just NOT have kids?" What the hell is wrong with you? Just enjoy your situation
Posted by rocket31
Member since Jan 2008
41887 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:41 am to
It's a coping mechanism to deal with their handcuffed lives

Brb flying to Costa Rica on a whim with some chick ten years younger than me

While you're at home changing shitty diapers and watching spongebob
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 10:42 am
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33963 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:43 am to
quote:

Yep. Don't let people like that sway you. I know a lot of people with kids that get offended simply because I say I don't want them

I can't count how many times I've been told I'll change my mind when I'm older. It's never going to happen and some people just can't accept that for whatever reason.




They take it as if you're impugning their choices by not making the same choices.

Every couple is different. There are plenty of people that have kids that have no business having kids. Just the same, there are couples that would make great parents. That doesn't automatically mean that it's their responsibility as a couple to do so.
Posted by TygerTyger
Houston
Member since Oct 2010
11116 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:43 am to
quote:

rocket31



quote:

I lol now but I'm non primitive and highly functional


I've read way too many of your posts to buy this bullshite.
Posted by Lester Earl
3rd Ward
Member since Nov 2003
290833 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:45 am to
quote:

If me and my wife didn't want kids, we wouldn't be married right now

we'd still be together, I just don't see the point in marriage with no kids



why do you need to be married to have kids?
Posted by Lester Earl
3rd Ward
Member since Nov 2003
290833 posts
Posted on 3/28/16 at 10:47 am to
quote:

Brb flying to Costa Rica on a whim with some chick ten years younger than me



have you actually ever done this?
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