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re: Is having kids worth it?
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:25 am to Deuces
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:25 am to Deuces
If you want them, absolutely. The most challenging and rewarding thing I will ever do is raise children.
Just a general comment, the most rewarding things in life are those that come with a lot of challenge at least for me. Kids is #1 on that list. My career is another example. I am highly paid because I have come out the other side of challenging situations.
Just a general comment, the most rewarding things in life are those that come with a lot of challenge at least for me. Kids is #1 on that list. My career is another example. I am highly paid because I have come out the other side of challenging situations.
1
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:27 am to CunningLinguist
Having kids is a prerequisite to having grandkids... And THAT is the best thing in the world!!! 
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:27 am to Deuces
This thread is great to see.
I have my first on the way, a baby boy, and I couldn’t be more excited.
I have my first on the way, a baby boy, and I couldn’t be more excited.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:28 am to Yeti_Chaser
quote:
Is it vapid, fleeting, or meaningless to want to see more of that? I don't think so, and it's the primary reason that I don't have kids to date. Maybe I'll change my mind idk
No. Plenty of us have kids and prioritize knowledge and travel. I understand your perspective (and not in a dismissive way) - but I always find it peculiar when people raise the human experience/exploration/adventure aspect and overlook that no human experience is as quintessential has having kids.
quote:
And the idea that you'll be old with no one to take care of you is quite selfish
I've never thought this was a very compelling argument either. Now, so much of my world is shaped by experiencing it through my children. I want to travel and experience cultures and celebrate holidays with and through them. Having done that, and planning to do more of it, it's very difficult to imagine it any other way.
I'll be very cliche here: I'm not some elite traveler, but my wife and I probably did more traveling than 95% of Americans will ever do in the years before kids. I'd trade it all 100x over to ensure I got to see my 4 year old make his first unassisted out in t-ball. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but from my observation so far, I think it's more than that.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:30 am to Deuces
been married 21 years and n o desire for kids. life is great
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:32 am to Deuces
Yes. I was lost and depressed until I had my kiddo. He’s my world
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:33 am to Deuces
I don’t want them.
I don’t have them.
Happy for those who do though.
I don’t have them.
Happy for those who do though.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:39 am to LBro337
quote:
I cant wait to watch him grow up.
Don't BLINK, brother......
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:39 am to Deuces
100% worth it. Responsibility brings meaning to life.
It’s important you take an active role in being a parent. You need to be open to learning, listening, and adapting. You will NOT have the answers and your kids will be unique, individual people. If you can be a good parent, you will cultivate a relationship you’ve never experienced before.
I don’t think everyone should have kids. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It saps your resources. If you’re not ready or desiring that, don’t have them.
But it’s worth it if you have the want.
It’s important you take an active role in being a parent. You need to be open to learning, listening, and adapting. You will NOT have the answers and your kids will be unique, individual people. If you can be a good parent, you will cultivate a relationship you’ve never experienced before.
I don’t think everyone should have kids. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It saps your resources. If you’re not ready or desiring that, don’t have them.
But it’s worth it if you have the want.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:42 am to Darth_Vader
quote:
Here’s the thing, you can have countless parents try to explain to you what it’s like to be a parent. But you can’t really grasp it until you yourself become a parent.
Heard a quote awhile back that explains it well, the greatest gift god gave man is that the joys of parenting can’t be understood by those who aren’t parents.
That said, I wish kids weren’t so damn expensive. Every month I wonder where all the money goes.
I am lucky enough to have a flexible career that allows me to do exactly what I am doing the past two days. Staying home and working as much as I can while watching a sick kid.
This post was edited on 12/10/25 at 9:44 am
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:44 am to Deuces
quote:
I’m married and undecided on wanting kids.
I hope you guys discussed this fact before getting married. With that being said - if you are questioning it, you are probably not ready yet. That is not a slight at you.
To answer your question - yes, kids are amazing.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:45 am to Deuces
quote:
Is having kids worth it?
Worth every second and every penny you spend. Are they expensive....yes but after you have them you really don't care about material shite as much.
You will never know what true love feels like until you have one.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:48 am to Deuces
Kids are great and the toddler stage is hilarious
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:51 am to Pettifogger
quote:
I think there are many who for whatever reason have been "corrupted" by our culture into wanting things of fleeting, meaningless value over children.
At the same time our society does a pretty shite job of motivating people to have kids. You need to be in a position to have kids around 30. By 35, the odds of getting pregnant start to fall off of cliff. Obviously there are ways around that but they are expensive whether it’s IVF or adoption
On top of that, outside of a few high earning careers both parents will be working. Juggling summers, daycare bills ect just eats away incomes. “Just have a stay at home mom” isn’t realistic for most people. 66% of families are dual income
Emotionally it’s worth it but god damn it’s absolutely draining on the bank account and I don’t really blame people for going to Europe on what I spend for a few months of daycare. Hell just the two C-sections could have bought me a very luxurious trip
I don’t regret but I understand why people doing the math start to wonder if it’s worth it
This post was edited on 12/10/25 at 9:53 am
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:53 am to Deuces
Absolutely.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 9:56 am to Dire Wolf
quote:
I don’t regret but I understand why people doing the math start to wonder if it’s worth it
Sure. I think there has been a flip for some segment of the country (world, really) in this regard. "Let me do the math an examine what I'll lose and decide" vs. "Obviously we're starting a family, what is left over will determine how we live."
I think for plenty of us the latter is still the MO. But more and more the former is the starting point for a subset and, importantly, the dominant way our culture presents the issue (even if disconnected from what a majority of the population actually does).
Posted on 12/10/25 at 10:04 am to Pettifogger
quote:
"Let me do the math an examine what I'll lose and decide" vs. "Obviously we're starting a family, what is left over will determine how we live."
Very well put, and pretty sad tbh.
I can only speak for myself, but the only thing I would change is I wish I had met my wife sooner and had our kids younger. Better chance of being a grandparent, etc.
If there are any young bucks on here I would say don't get sucked into this narrative that you gotta go be single for however many years, meet new people, "find yourself" whatever the frick that means.
Nothing will change you for the better more than the right woman and children. The sooner the better imo and I'll give my kids that same advice.
Posted on 12/10/25 at 10:06 am to Pettifogger
quote:
Let me do the math an examine what I'll lose and decide" vs. "Obviously we're starting a family, what is left over will determine how we live
That ignores the “what kind of life can I afford to give to the kid”
Posted on 12/10/25 at 10:10 am to Dire Wolf
Mid 40’s, good careers, no kids. We have our reasons and are totally comfortable with our choices. We have the same amount of friends with kids as without. Everyone seems happy. Live your life
This post was edited on 12/10/25 at 10:11 am
Posted on 12/10/25 at 10:12 am to Deuces
Yes, because then you will hopefully one day be blessed with grandchildren and then you will know what true pure love is.
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