re: Inheriting a mentally disabled sibling

Im currently in a very similar situation with my son. Good luck, a ton of patience and understanding is all needed.
My saving light was NAMI. Its kinda the AA of the mental world. My city has a very active chapter with some local resources for both the person, and the family's involved.
They also have tons of information online that will help.

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Have your parents look into setting up an irrevocable special needs trust so he can receive financial support without jeopardizing his Social Security and Medicaid benefits.

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110% this.

My mom was completely disabled and lived with my grandmother. When grandma passed, we went through all the paperwork and such and turned out her dumbass attorney put her house in an irrevocable trust but left all of her money and other assets outside of it! Being a quadriplegic, mom couldn't survive without in-home help via the state. The attorney's screw up would have easily led to her losing all state benefits.

Fortunately, we were able to buy the house from the trust which successfully put the funds into the trust. Home value doesn't calculate into state assistance.

Your parents need a trust and they need it quickly. Have them contact an estate planner or estate attorney if they don't already have one.

God bless you

1) have your folks set up a testamentary special needs trust. This allows his portion of the estate to provide for his care WITHOUT his jump in net worth disqualifying him from govt aid (as it is legally not his since he has no authority over its distribution amount/frequency). An estate planning attorney can do this.

2) establish a full power of attorney and/or guardianship over your brother if you haven’t already

3) there are some financial planners that can help you navigate the quagmire of state/federal aid programs, I suggest you find one in MO that knows the rules of the state

4) find a care facility/home that deals with medically incompetent people, almost all of them accept some kind of govt aid (Medicaid, section 8 vouchers, etc)

Good luck and godspeed.

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buying him a trailer somewhere with a trust that pays the expenses is not the worst idea.

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my parents did this before they passed but the expenses were paid by disability. My brother ODed in his late 40s while also being very active in the NA/AA community. Sometimes no matter how hard you try they cannot overcome their issues.

I would advise talking to your dad (without mom present) and discussing your concerns with him. Seems like he's intelligent, responsible, reasonable and caring.

Between the two of you a plan can be fleshed out. Your dad will understand the reality of what your concerns are, such as brother not being able to function/live alone and certain destruction of the house.

Your parents and the house are the only stable things brother has. When the parents are gone, brother is going to spiral with quickness.

Certainly your dad has already considered some scenarios, particularly if mom outlives dad. He might have something already worked out.

Good luck.

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Western exurbs of St Louis

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There's a guy around the Rolla area that helps the mentally ill and addicts quite a bit. He's known as the neighborhood hope dealer. I think he's apart of a larger group, but it seems he's able to help. It's a Christian based program.

Went through this with my biological mother who was paranoid schizophrenic. My advice to you is if you are not willing/capable of handling the day-to-day affairs of your sibling, then to have the county court declare conservatorship over your brother. We did this for my mother who resided for much of her life in Troy (Lincoln County) Missouri (she wanted to continue to live close to where she grew up) with the last seven or eight years living close to me in an assisted care facility. Hope this helps…

LINK

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Do you think that he may come around and improve on his mental functionality if your parents made him go to rehab?

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No, he has been diagnosed and is treated for Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Lots of meds and several stints in Mental Hospitals. Emergency power of attorney and forceable treatment is very difficult to get, but three times that I know of he went so off the rails that police were involved and it made the process easier, but was temporary.

The huffing is what really did him in. My poor dad found him several years ago in the basement passed out with a plastic bag over his head and spray paint everywhere. Don't know how long he had been that way. Installed landline down there just to call 911. They can no longer get up and down the stairs to even check on him anymore.

To my knowledge he isn't doing the hard stuff any more but the damage has been done. And I have no confidence he won't again in the future.

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Troy (Lincoln County) Missouri

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That's just a bit north of Wildwood, MO where my parents and brother are now.

Your bio says you're in Houston, did you move your mom here to Texas for assisted care? Was it a pain to transfer any benefits she was receiving? Was she resistant to the move?