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Started By
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re: I’m ok with staying home on Christmas Day. Why is that bad?
Posted on 12/20/22 at 6:49 am to TexasTiger08
Posted on 12/20/22 at 6:49 am to TexasTiger08
I dont know anyone who travels far off for Christmas
This post was edited on 12/20/22 at 7:07 am
1
Posted on 12/20/22 at 6:54 am to R11
I once drove 15 hours on Xmas eve from PA to be at Xmas morning for 5am. Didn’t tell family I was coming. I was 26 and single though. It was like the Folgers commercial
Posted on 12/20/22 at 7:48 am to TexasTiger08
My parents are deceased, I’m divorced with no kids, and I see my only brother and his family all the time. I usually go on a solo trip somewhere over Christmas, but decided to spend the weekend with my brother and his family. His kids are 13 and 16, his wife is kind of a bitch, and he lives in a small historic home. I’m already kind of dreading it, but I’m bringing plenty of beer, bourbon, and weed gummies. I imagine I’ll spend a lot of time playing Xbox with my nephew.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 8:10 am to TexasTiger08
If you have kids you should spend Christmas at home and let them enjoy it. Thanksgiving is for getting together with extended family, Christmas is for your family.
If older parents want to come visit that’s fine.
If older parents want to come visit that’s fine.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 8:12 am to TexasTiger08
I always get sick on holidays so I usually use that as an excuse
Posted on 12/20/22 at 8:22 am to TexasTiger08
My wife and I are doing the same. We have no kids. Just have been incredibly busy and stressed with our jobs and decided we wanted to get some R&R.
You’d think we disowned our family. Mind you my entire family is in Louisiana and I live in Tennessee.
You’d think we disowned our family. Mind you my entire family is in Louisiana and I live in Tennessee.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 8:25 am to TexasTiger08
I post and discuss this every chance I get. frick the family obligations of the holidays. I grew up hating christmas because my parents bowed down to all of them. Getting dressed up for chirstmas eve at moms parents in Kenner, then up early dressed up again for church and lunch in Lafeyette for my dads parents. Christmas was just obligations...no joy, no actual family time.
Before my wife and I got married I told her a hill I will always die on is we don't leave the house on Christmas and noone is coming over. It's relaxed family time....period. Anyone who guilt trips us can get fricked..this has included her parents, my grandparents, my mom...I don't care. It's fricking ok to enjoy a holiday and even more so ok to protect your child from seeing christmas as a to do list instead of a day of joy and family.
Rant over....kind of
Before my wife and I got married I told her a hill I will always die on is we don't leave the house on Christmas and noone is coming over. It's relaxed family time....period. Anyone who guilt trips us can get fricked..this has included her parents, my grandparents, my mom...I don't care. It's fricking ok to enjoy a holiday and even more so ok to protect your child from seeing christmas as a to do list instead of a day of joy and family.
Rant over....kind of
Posted on 12/20/22 at 8:32 am to BrohemAlem11
These threads always make me incredibly grateful that my family and now my fiancé’s family have never been fussy about holidays. He and I have spent them apart, spent them alone just us two, and even taken turns spending them with the other’s family over the years. Nobody minds what we decide.
Christmas Day is just us two and has been for years. Never heard a single argument from either family, thank goodness. Even the stuff I do attend, such as Christmas Eve with my dad’s family, my parents have already told me 10+ times to only come if I want to.
Christmas Day is just us two and has been for years. Never heard a single argument from either family, thank goodness. Even the stuff I do attend, such as Christmas Eve with my dad’s family, my parents have already told me 10+ times to only come if I want to.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 8:38 am to BrohemAlem11
Same rant so I chose to not have my kids leave the house on Christmas day ever. Grandparents adjusted expectations and it worked out in the end. Now that my kids are grown I am not fussy about the holidays. I tell them I will never be upset and go to the inlaws if it is easier than fighting the issue. The other inlaws act so anal and stupid about it that most of the time I get lots if time and visits jist because I don't make demands or stress them out. Works for me 
Posted on 12/20/22 at 8:55 am to madamsquirrel
quote:
I get lots if time and visits jist because I don't make demands or stress them out. Works for me
That's what so many family members don't understand. They hem and haw about It's christmas...we need to spend time together, but it's never quality time...when it's forced and obligatory it's just stressful time.
People would have a lot more success spending quality time if they dropped the guilt tripping into awful obligations in the middle of breaks.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:26 am to TexasTiger08
I travel to my hometown (3 hours away) during the holidays because most of my family is there. I wouldn't think at all for all of them to drive down here for the holidays.
If it's a one-off thing for your sister to host, then you're kinda being a lazy bum.
If it's a one-off thing for your sister to host, then you're kinda being a lazy bum.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:28 am to Hu_Flung_Pu
quote:
then you're kinda being a lazy bum.
Because he wants to enjoy restful time with his family during his holiday instead of gettign ready, loading up and going to someone elses house.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:30 am to BrohemAlem11
It's one year and one occasion.
Now, I've read some more and if it's only a day trip, that is way different. That's too much driving for the holidays.
Now, I've read some more and if it's only a day trip, that is way different. That's too much driving for the holidays.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:31 am to BrohemAlem11
quote:
That's what so many family members don't understand. They hem and haw about It's christmas...we need to spend time together, but it's never quality time...when it's forced and obligatory it's just stressful time.
You really don't seem like anybody wants you there anyway. I look forward to seeing my family.
This post was edited on 12/20/22 at 9:32 am
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:35 am to LSU-MNCBABY
quote:
If you have kids you should spend Christmas at home and let them enjoy it. Thanksgiving is for getting together with extended family, Christmas is for your family.
If older parents want to come visit that’s fine.
Disagree. Holidays are times the young kids can be together and build lasting bonds. Being a loner family is no fun.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:39 am to Hu_Flung_Pu
quote:
It's one year and one occasion
Im sorry I just won't susbcribe to that mentality. Maybe it is just one occasion, but to some this long weekend is the first time all year that things have slowed down and they can take a break.... and they gonna get pissy with him cuase he wants to enjoy his earned time in a way that he would actually....enjoy?
Point blank, I dont get why people feel ok guilt tripping loved ones into gatherings that are a hassle just because it's christmas... it's rude and honestly not very loving at all.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:40 am to SteveLSU35
quote:
We actually started doing chicken, ground beef, and brisket tacos / nachos ready to roll for people to come by on Christmas Day as they want.
We do all finger foods on Christmas eve after mass so it's easy and quick.
We throw it all out again on Christmas day as We roll around. As the kids get older we'll do a traditional meal.
I'd rather play with them all day than in the kitchen and I love to cook.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:41 am to Hu_Flung_Pu
quote:
Holidays are times the young kids can be together and build lasting bonds. Being a loner family is no fun.
My son was just with everyone not but a few weeks ago for Thanksgiving and by the end of the dinner honestly everyon was stressed...why are we obligated to do it again? What is awful about having a holiday where we just enjoy each other.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:42 am to TexasTiger08
I could write a horrible book about this crap that people would not read.
I will say that Christmas should be about your children, it should be memories about joy for that day and not watching their grandpa getting stupid drunk passing out on the floor and pissing himself.
Or the wife’s brothers and sisters playing poker together and ignoring their spouses.
This is the kind of crap that can cause divorces.
Remember a large portion of the country will only get Christmas Day off and some won’t get any time off.
It”s Jesus’ birthday.
Merry Christmas.
I will say that Christmas should be about your children, it should be memories about joy for that day and not watching their grandpa getting stupid drunk passing out on the floor and pissing himself.
Or the wife’s brothers and sisters playing poker together and ignoring their spouses.
This is the kind of crap that can cause divorces.
Remember a large portion of the country will only get Christmas Day off and some won’t get any time off.
It”s Jesus’ birthday.
Merry Christmas.
Posted on 12/20/22 at 9:43 am to BrohemAlem11
I told both my mom and MIL we wouldnot guilt our kids the way we were guilted over holidays. BUT if you want to have a bbq on the weekend or a random dinner on Tuesday we are there. They are learning to embrace family days and family trips. So all of the bonding/cousin time/kid and grandkid time still happens but in a much more relaxed way. Holidays are stressful wnough without you demanding to see me on a particular day. If you care about seeing me/us why should the calendar date matter?
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