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Started By
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re: I'm at my girlfriend's parents' house and have to take a huge shite
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:12 pm to lepdagod
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:12 pm to lepdagod
quote:
Drop and flush... light spray of air freshener during toilet flushing to damper noise
I reread this in George Costanza’s voice and imagined some weird arm flailing and made me laugh.
0
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:12 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Open the bomb bay doors and let er shite...
Courtesy flush big time though
Courtesy flush big time though
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:14 pm to CajunSuperJeff
quote:
Every morning after coffee,i waste 30+ minutes.
I still do that too. Between coffee breaks, bathroom breaks and TD posting, I'd love to know how productive I could be.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:14 pm to X123F45
quote:
Can't kick back and jerk off in a public bathroom.
Can't or won't? Where's your sense of adventure?
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:15 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Depends on who has the nicer trailer IMHO
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:15 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Take a shite, be sure to stick your head out and ask where they keep the poop knife.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:17 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Everyone poops man. Everyone poops.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:18 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
1. Announce you are going to take a dump.
2. Ask for the location of the closest bathroom
3. Go into said bathroom, leave door open in full view of family, strip completely nude and take said dump
4. Do not wipe. Instead, after finishing, immediately stand up and walk back to the family, Seductively bend over, look back at them, and your spread your butt-cheeks announcing to the parents that this gift is now theirs.
5. Sit on the nearest cushion furniture, brace yourself, spread your legs, and rhythmically rub your sphincter against the cushion while staring into her mom’s eyes.
When this task is complete stand up, walk into the kitchen and demand hot chocolate from her mother until she follows you. When her mom get’s close, hug her tightly while shivering intensely, begging her to let you live there and bask in her milky whiteness and swim in her silky heat.
2. Ask for the location of the closest bathroom
3. Go into said bathroom, leave door open in full view of family, strip completely nude and take said dump
4. Do not wipe. Instead, after finishing, immediately stand up and walk back to the family, Seductively bend over, look back at them, and your spread your butt-cheeks announcing to the parents that this gift is now theirs.
5. Sit on the nearest cushion furniture, brace yourself, spread your legs, and rhythmically rub your sphincter against the cushion while staring into her mom’s eyes.
When this task is complete stand up, walk into the kitchen and demand hot chocolate from her mother until she follows you. When her mom get’s close, hug her tightly while shivering intensely, begging her to let you live there and bask in her milky whiteness and swim in her silky heat.
This post was edited on 12/15/18 at 1:19 pm
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:18 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Dude, everyone shits. When you got to go, you got to go. Just go in your girlfriend’s bathroom. Who cares?
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:20 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
quote:
tear up their porcelain throne, and risk embarrassmen
Just flush every time a kid gets dropped in the pool.
No smell - No embarrassment.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:20 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:20 pm to JetsetNuggs
Was going to post that.
Most definitely the most cinematic dump in Hollywood history
Most definitely the most cinematic dump in Hollywood history
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:21 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Tear up the thrown, cover the lid before you flush, but then take a few minutes to try to clean it up some after to mask the smell (light a match, light candles, use some clorox wipes if they have them.
They will respect you for it.
They will respect you for it.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:22 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Depends how long you've been dating her 
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:23 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
quote:
risk embarrassment?
Beta
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:24 pm to theunknownknight
Wow
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:26 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
quote:
Or should I make an excuse to leave and go home to lay some cables while posting on TD?
Living that close to your in-laws is trashy.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:29 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Find the bathroom closest to the kitchen, don't turn the fan on, and leave the door unlocked. Live dangerously.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:39 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
Say with a British accent
"Excuse me good man. I need to use your privy, I have to take a proper shite."
The British make everything sound classy.
"Excuse me good man. I need to use your privy, I have to take a proper shite."
The British make everything sound classy.
Posted on 12/15/18 at 1:41 pm to VolsOut4Harambe
I wouldn’t care at all. I’m dropping a deuce at that house.
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