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Started By
Message
re: If you’re a man, nobody cares how you feel.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:46 pm to Earnest_P
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:46 pm to Earnest_P
quote:
keep reading on twitter that men especially aren’t supposed to reveal their feelings to their wives or girlfriends, that these women will use their emotions against them, etc. I don’t think my wife does that, but what do y’all think in general?
It’s not intentional. Women think they want you to reveal your emotions and feelings, they genuinely THINK this. But once you do, their DNA kicks in and you immediately become less attractive.
1
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:49 pm to LSUfan20005
quote:
It’s not intentional. Women think they want you to reveal your emotions and feelings, they genuinely THINK this. But once you do, their DNA kicks in and you immediately become less attractive.
Which would explain how the stereotype of the emotionless man came to be.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:50 pm to Earnest_P
quote:
All that matters is what you say and do.
True or false.
True. This is why most men are unable to convey their feelings and are loathe to do so. Its not a bad thing, just part of being a man.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:53 pm to Earnest_P
quote:
it’s still not best for me to reveal these things to her or to anyone.
In the end, it doesn’t matter how I feel. Only what I do.
Your last line is something you'll end up mumbling to yourself as you burn your house down. Get a therapist on Talkspace or similar, today.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:53 pm to Earnest_P
quote:
We’ve been told that women want sensitive men, but is that just marketing?
Women want men who are sensitive to THEIR needs and desires, not a man who is sensitive to anything else. Maybe the needs of the woman's children and maybe her parents and siblings but those needs are really just hers to begin with. This is a good thing because most men are not aware of their feelings and couldn't articulate them on a dare.......
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:54 pm to Earnest_P
This is 100% true for white men.
No one care how we feel that is 100% fact.
No one care how we feel that is 100% fact.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:55 pm to El Segundo Guy
quote:
I don't need anyone to care how I feel. My feelings are my emotions, not someone else's.
Agreed, so everyone needs to stop tippy toing around different races and mentally ill people.
Call a spade a spade regardless of color.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:56 pm to Earnest_P
quote:
We’ve been told that women want sensitive men, but is that just marketing?
'Sensitive Men' have definitely been glorified. IME, when a woman ends up with that perfect 'sensitive man', she winds up disgusted with him. I think women might like the IDEA of a sensitive man, but in reality have no respect for them.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:56 pm to AwgustaDawg
quote:
Women want men who are sensitive to THEIR needs and desires, not a man who is sensitive to anything else. Maybe the needs of the woman's children and maybe her parents and siblings but those needs are really just hers to begin with. This is a good thing because most men are not aware of their feelings and couldn't articulate them on a dare.......
This is not all women, just the ones you want to stay away from.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:57 pm to Salmon
Salmon, I appreciate that post and you’re right about twitter, but I think it’s worth asking ourselves whether our relative openness is helping or hurting family life.
One thing this thought experiment has reinforced to me is the value of friends, male spaces, sports teams, etc. and the loss of these things as my life has gone on.
We can’t just bottle everything up, but maybe we also shouldn’t spill it out at home.
One thing this thought experiment has reinforced to me is the value of friends, male spaces, sports teams, etc. and the loss of these things as my life has gone on.
We can’t just bottle everything up, but maybe we also shouldn’t spill it out at home.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:57 pm to jizzle6609
This is why one of my biggest pieces of advice to men in their 20’s is to hold onto your guy friends as long as possible
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:57 pm to 03 West CoChamps
quote:
A lot of modern women (not all) view emotion from men as a weakness
they complain one way or another...just gives them a reason to bitch about something
Posted on 2/24/25 at 1:59 pm to 03 West CoChamps
quote:
A lot of modern women (not all) view emotion from men as a weakness. They need men to be emotionless to anchor down their emotional chaos. If you add to the chaos, you aren't any good to them.
Oh they want you ALL involved in THEIR emotional chaos, just not you adding to it. You have to be on their side or you are against them.
My wife is about as close to being emotionally male as a woman can get. Its one of the reasons we have managed to stay together for nearly 40 years. She is, however, a woman and does, from time to time, enjoy some mild drama. Its rare and relatively benign but it does come to the surface from time to time.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 2:04 pm to AwgustaDawg
I know this isn't the same for everyone, but I have a really great group of friends. Not only do we hold each other accountable in life, but also are there to listen around the campfire when you need to vent or have some issues.
I know the sentiment is that "no one cares", or "what does it matter". The thing is.........even though there might not be a solution to your issue just being heard is helpful. Repenting or just simply talking to God can do wonders, but you might not like the direction he sends you. Though it's the best thing for you.
I know the sentiment is that "no one cares", or "what does it matter". The thing is.........even though there might not be a solution to your issue just being heard is helpful. Repenting or just simply talking to God can do wonders, but you might not like the direction he sends you. Though it's the best thing for you.
This post was edited on 2/24/25 at 2:16 pm
Posted on 2/24/25 at 2:09 pm to Earnest_P
quote:
but I think it’s worth asking ourselves whether our relative openness is helping or hurting family life
If I didn't truly believe my wife cared about my feelings, or that she would use my feelings against me, I wouldn't be with her. That is toxic as frick.
quote:
We can’t just bottle everything up, but maybe we also shouldn’t spill it out at home.
I was raised in the "nobody cares, work harder" mentality generation, so I have tendency to bottle it up until it starts affecting me, to which my wife will notice and she will actively pry it out of me.
There are some things that I can handle, so I don't share, but some things I should probably share sooner. She is my life partner. I (we) shouldn't keep those things from her.
Its something that I'm working on.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 2:17 pm to cgrand
Makes me think of Gus in Breaking Bad
“And a man, a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.”
“And a man, a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.”
Posted on 2/24/25 at 2:20 pm to Salmon
quote:
If I didn't truly believe my wife cared about my feelings
But they have to *act* like they care. Many times, I watch men get shite on by their wives making decisions, being ultra late, etc., which dump 99% of the "deal with it," work on the man.
Flippant example: Any time ex wife and I would drive to BR, (both WFH for years) I had an advertised time to leave to avoid getting hammered in BR traffic trying to cross the bridge. This window of opportunity would come, and go, with us leaving the house 90-120 minutes after the target time, costing us at least an hour in traffic hell. Why? The floor needed to be vacuumed again, now is when the holiday decorations need to come out of the garage, etc. Why did she not care? I would be the one dealing with bumper to bumper traffic while she's on the phone. If she acted like she cared, she'd at least apologize for the blood pressure maximization exercise that she created in me.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 2:31 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
Why did she not care?
My sons will be told, above almost everything else, to look for a wife who is kind to them.
If a girl isn’t kind to you when love first blooms, how’s it going to be when you hit a mid-life crisis and lose confidence or your erection?
This post was edited on 2/24/25 at 2:33 pm
Posted on 2/24/25 at 2:36 pm to Earnest_P
quote:I’m pretty pro-relationship/pro-women, but IMO, this is one area where women (not all, but a lot) often just kinda suck.
I keep reading on twitter that men especially aren’t supposed to reveal their feelings to their wives or girlfriends, that these women will use their emotions against them, etc.
I don’t think my wife does that, but what do y’all think in general?
We’ve been told that women want sensitive men, but is that just marketing?
As far as I can work out, the expectation is that you share when asked, but don’t overshare. Often, the reason you’re being asked is because you’re “being a certain way” and the woman asking isn’t necessarily trying to help, they’re just collecting data.
Not all the time, but this is the case way too often. I will say though, if someone is actually going to care, it’s most likely going to be a woman in your life.
Posted on 2/24/25 at 2:37 pm to Earnest_P
quote:
All that matters is what you say and do.
True or false.
shut up and get back to work
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