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Started By
Message
re: I think my wife is being selfish
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:21 am to Tyga Woods
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:21 am to Tyga Woods
Give her some street drugs.
0
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:30 am to Tyga Woods
quote:
Started about 2 years ago and has progressively gotten worse.
Did y'all have a kid around this time? Postpartum can be a bitch and throw some things out of whack hormonally.
She may need to go get some bloodwork to see what's going on.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:36 am to Tyga Woods
Jody plows it daily
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:37 am to OweO
quote:
OweO
quote:
Also, i will tell her to leave my house earlier. She comes over on Tuesday & Thursdays. I'll make sure she picks the kids up this week.
Well, the OP did say she's been doing volunteer work so I can believe this is a thing.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:37 am to Tyga Woods
quote:
She doesn’t even have to work. She chooses to be stressed.
She wants martyrdom. Praise her efforts and make it clear you are in awe of her. If that doesn't work, divorce her.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:40 am to Tyga Woods
When is the last time you two went on a date?
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:45 am to Tyga Woods
quote:
She used to be fun but now she doesn’t really want to go anywhere or do anything that doesn’t involve one of her volunteer projects or work or church. What the deal is?
Join a co-ed fitness(running, xfit, gym, yoga, etc) group that meets when she can't. Even little ole BR has groups meeting from 4am-9pm almost daily. Find the one with the hottest chicks.
Problem Solved.
This post was edited on 8/27/18 at 7:46 am
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:48 am to TheOcean
quote:
When is the last time you two went on a date?
Together?
Posted on 8/27/18 at 7:51 am to Tyga Woods
Tyga, serious question: what are her social media posting habits?
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:04 am to Tyga Woods
She’s not happy.
She’s bringing home work and no one else else at her place of work bring as much home - she’s avoiding having to deal with her home life by drowning herself in work.
She’s ignoring responsibilities around the house, pushing off whatever chores she can to you (like laundry, cleaning and picking up the kids) - also avoiding having to deal with home life.
She’s only engaging in the things that make her happy like church, volunteering, etc - again, avoiding home life.
I did all the same things before I filed for divorce.
Get counseling or prepare for divorce.
It’s not going to get better on it’s own. Phases don’t last for 2+ years.
She’s bringing home work and no one else else at her place of work bring as much home - she’s avoiding having to deal with her home life by drowning herself in work.
She’s ignoring responsibilities around the house, pushing off whatever chores she can to you (like laundry, cleaning and picking up the kids) - also avoiding having to deal with home life.
She’s only engaging in the things that make her happy like church, volunteering, etc - again, avoiding home life.
I did all the same things before I filed for divorce.
Get counseling or prepare for divorce.
It’s not going to get better on it’s own. Phases don’t last for 2+ years.
This post was edited on 8/27/18 at 8:06 am
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:06 am to Tyga Woods
quote:Then hire a housekeeper.
Cleaning up after another grownup is a different story.
quote:There are plenty of other things that you can do to be productive and find fulfillment. This will free up your time to do yard work, cook/clean up after cooking, spend more time with your kids, take your wife out to do something fun, and spend less time cleaning up after your wife, which obviously causes tension in the house. You said she doesn't need to work, so use her extra income to hire a housekeeper that comes in once or twice per week.
I need to feel productive all the time
Also, take a previous poster's advice to get to the root of the over-extension issue:
quote:
It honestly sounds like she reached a point in her life where she felt like she wasn’t fulfilled or possibly felt like she wasn’t making a difference to the world or society and has overextended in the other direction. Could really do some good to just talk to her about where all this is rooted. Don’t come from the standpoint that volunteering and working hard is a bad thing, but bring it to her attention that there’s been a change in the household/marriage dynamic and inquire about her thoughts on the situation. That should at the very least give you an idea of what’s going on and possibly ways to productively manage things from there.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:09 am to nolady007
quote:
She’s not happy.
She’s bringing home work and no one else else at her place of work bring as much home - she’s avoiding having to deal with her home life by drowning herself in work.
She’s ignoring responsibilities around the house, pushing off whatever chores she can to you (like laundry, cleaning and picking up the kids) - also avoiding having to deal with home life.
She’s only engaging in the things that make her happy like church, volunteering, etc - again, avoiding home life.
I did all the same things before I filed for divorce.
Get counseling or prepare for divorce.
It’s not going to get better on it’s own. Phases don’t last for 2+ years.
quote:1st Post?
nolady007
Who dis ?
This post was edited on 8/27/18 at 8:10 am
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:15 am to mikelbr
Long time reader. First time poster.
Couldn’t help it. This sounded SO familiar.
Couldn’t help it. This sounded SO familiar.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:18 am to Tyga Woods
quote:
I don’t mind doing the bulk of the chores. I need to feel productive all the time so cleaning the house doesn’t bother me.
quote:
I’ll clean up after kids but I’m not cleaning up a grown woman’s mess”
So you don’t mind doing the work...it just irritates you to do the work for her?
If I were you, I’d sit down and think about why that might be the case.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:19 am to Tyga Woods
She clearly feels overwhelmed.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:23 am to Tyga Woods
One more thing: when you adddress the issue and suggest counseling, do not say “you.” She’ll get defensive and shut down.
Make this about your needs. “I’m not happy, I’d like to go to counseling. I. I. I.”
Not saying “you” is harder than you think. Practice beforehand.
I’m out.
Good luck.
Make this about your needs. “I’m not happy, I’d like to go to counseling. I. I. I.”
Not saying “you” is harder than you think. Practice beforehand.
I’m out.
Good luck.
This post was edited on 8/27/18 at 8:29 am
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:30 am to Tyga Woods
She’s probably depressed and is using all of these projects to keep her mind off her stressors.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:31 am to thejudge
quote:
Did y'all have a kid around this time?
We did not. Our youngest is 8
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:32 am to nolady007
I’m not even sure if the OP needs counseling. It sounds like he just needs to step into her world a bit and reengage with her.
If I were him, I’d sit down with her while she does her projects and offer help every once in a while. Or when she’s laying in bed watching Netflix, just roll up beside her (w/o PIIHB) and watch whatever she’s watching with her.
Eventually, she’ll ask what’s going on and I would just say, “I miss you. Just want to spend some time with you”. Boom. Fixed.
If I were him, I’d sit down with her while she does her projects and offer help every once in a while. Or when she’s laying in bed watching Netflix, just roll up beside her (w/o PIIHB) and watch whatever she’s watching with her.
Eventually, she’ll ask what’s going on and I would just say, “I miss you. Just want to spend some time with you”. Boom. Fixed.
Posted on 8/27/18 at 8:33 am to Tyga Woods
Posts like these further my belief that if the thread isn't article based, it is all lies.
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