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Message
re: How did you handle paternity leave?
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:38 am to Hondo Blacksheep
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:38 am to Hondo Blacksheep
quote:OP- If you died today your company would have your job posted before you were in the ground.
but generally work needs to come first
Family is everything. frick people who say to put work first.
Personally for my first kid I took off two weeks but I did some work while I was off. Not a lot but tried to answer emails and touch base and just see if I was needed but at my convenience like when my wife and little girl were sleeping but that exact same job treated me like shite snd I left. I don't stay in touch with any of those guys and my little girl is my world.
Be with your family
1
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:38 am to Hondo Blacksheep
quote:
Had a young associate take the full three months off for family bonding, like his work didn't exist or something (which I had to reassign). I always thought less of him because he put his shite off on us, I mean, he didn't have a baby, his wife did. So, as a manager, my rec would be to discreetly come and go as you need, but generally work needs to come first and you need to handle your entire workload
This guy gets it.
Men are so soft these days.
Paternity leave?WTF?
I assume that’s for “men” with vaginas?
ETA: Not trying to sound like a tough guy - I mean…I went back to work but I’d still be there to take care of the kid for a bit in the evenings so she could cook, vacuum, do the dishes, etc. I’m not a monster.
This post was edited on 1/6/25 at 8:42 am
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:38 am to Norbert
quote:
The difficult stretch is from week 3 to about 3 months , give or take.
100%
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:38 am to Vrai
quote:
This didn't exist when my kids were born in 2008 & 2012.
Same
Had my laptop open in the hospital room. What the hell else am I supposed to do when we’re waiting 10 hours for her to dilate?
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:40 am to Solo Cam
It’s sad how Indians are more American than Americans these days
A good hardworking h1b would never take paternity leave and he has 12 kids
A good hardworking h1b would never take paternity leave and he has 12 kids
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:41 am to Ssubba
Congrats on becoming a Dad! Best feeling in the world.
First kid (state job) I took “off” 6 weeks - still took some calls and went to a few site visits.
Second kid (private) - I was out of the office for 2 weeks, but worked from home to save vacation time (company didn’t give me any maternity leave, so I was using personal time to be off). Believe I was out of the office for 2 weeks, but only took off 1 week because of the hours I worked.
If I could do it all over I’d say take that first 2-3 weeks and try and do as little work as possible. Really is such a sweet time and one that I look back on fondly with the first kid, but not so much with the second because of having to work.
First kid (state job) I took “off” 6 weeks - still took some calls and went to a few site visits.
Second kid (private) - I was out of the office for 2 weeks, but worked from home to save vacation time (company didn’t give me any maternity leave, so I was using personal time to be off). Believe I was out of the office for 2 weeks, but only took off 1 week because of the hours I worked.
If I could do it all over I’d say take that first 2-3 weeks and try and do as little work as possible. Really is such a sweet time and one that I look back on fondly with the first kid, but not so much with the second because of having to work.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:41 am to GEAUXT
quote:
generally work needs to come first
This is bad advice even if you are single with no kids.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:41 am to Hondo Blacksheep
quote:
Had a young associate take the full three months off for family bonding, like his work didn't exist or something (which I had to reassign). I always thought less of him because he put his shite off on us, I mean, he didn't have a baby, his wife did.
Spoken like a guy who doesn't have kids. Family always comes first
quote:
generally work needs to come first and you need to handle your entire workload.
Jesus Christ
This post was edited on 1/6/25 at 8:42 am
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:43 am to Ssubba
Took one week off.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:44 am to rltiger
first i took 3 weeks off. i am in sales so anything a customer needed i would respond but i wasn't out making calls
second 8 days because it was close to Thanksgiving and then another week or so around Christmas mostly just to manage the firstborn.
all PTO and not leave.
For the second, going back to work was more a vacation than the "leave" cause daycare was closed for most of the time off.
if you can delay paternity leave, do it. Use it on the backend so you don't have to pay for daycare for another month.
second 8 days because it was close to Thanksgiving and then another week or so around Christmas mostly just to manage the firstborn.
all PTO and not leave.
For the second, going back to work was more a vacation than the "leave" cause daycare was closed for most of the time off.
if you can delay paternity leave, do it. Use it on the backend so you don't have to pay for daycare for another month.
This post was edited on 1/6/25 at 8:45 am
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:45 am to Ssubba
Kids born in 2009 and 2011. Took a week PTO each time. Don't recall paternity leave being an option (unless it would have been un-paid time off).
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:45 am to SteelerBravesDawg
quote:I have a few kids. You don't need 3 months of paternity leave. That's absurd.
Spoken like a guy who doesn't have kids. Family always comes first
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:46 am to Dire Wolf
Didn’t have it. Took three days off for both kids. Was happy to go back to work thereafter. House was full of the in-laws, my parents, the kid(s), and the wife. Love all of them to death, but not all at one time.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:47 am to Jake88
quote:
You don't need 3 months of paternity leave. That's absurd.
Needs got nothing to do with it
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:49 am to JohnnyKilroy
quote:Still absurd.
Needs got nothing to do with it
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:53 am to nola tiger lsu
Exactly. Men who FMLA like that break the production cycle and cause me headaches I don't need.
I get the 'family first' chorus, truly, but imo the most important things for men - and in fact the only seriously important things - are to protect and provide.
If you just fathered a child, you need to get your arse to work.
And for the gentleman above who asked if this was law, yes a mid-major (300+ lawyers in 20+ cities), and the employee was a partner track fourth year associate with a lot of people counting on him.
I get the 'family first' chorus, truly, but imo the most important things for men - and in fact the only seriously important things - are to protect and provide.
If you just fathered a child, you need to get your arse to work.
And for the gentleman above who asked if this was law, yes a mid-major (300+ lawyers in 20+ cities), and the employee was a partner track fourth year associate with a lot of people counting on him.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:56 am to Jake88
quote:
Still absurd.
Absurd is choosing to be away from your family to fricking work
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:58 am to Hondo Blacksheep
quote:
And for the gentleman above who asked if this was law, yes a mid-major (300+ lawyers in 20+ cities), and the employee was a partner track fourth year associate with a lot of people counting on him.
No one was ever regretted choosing their family over their career.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 8:58 am to Ssubba
I took 2 days off for each of our kids. MIL came and stayed a couple weeks to help the new mom recover and take care of an infant, like they're supposed to.
Posted on 1/6/25 at 9:00 am to Hondo Blacksheep
quote:
If you just fathered a child, you need to get your arse to work.
I worked way harder on my paternity leave than I do at my job.
I am a lawyer who did nearly 7 figures in revenue last year.
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