re: Holding young kids back a year/Repeating a grade.

quote:

---

you say he's struggling, barely staying afloat, and you have personal first-hand experience that it was a good thing for you. So why are you still not a fan for him?

---

Socially and athletically it was better for me. I struggled in school all the way to college. It didn't help me at all in the classroom.

I have three children. Oldest two were valedictorians. My youngest struggled by comparison, but was a mostly A student. He just wasn’t a straight A student like his siblings. His “problem” was mostly (I believe) that he struggled to concentrate during tests. He was the youngest in his grade. He didn’t really bloom academically until college. He is now getting a PhD in an engineering discipline at a top 5 or so school for that field.

Honestly, I think he would have benefitted by being held back, but probably only because he was the youngest in his class and many others in his grade had been held back. He was nearly 2 years younger than some of his “peers.”

And he certainly would have benefitted in high school sports. He was always smaller and less mature looking than most of the people he played with and against. Don’t underestimate the benefits playing sports successfully can have on a person’s life. This is where many learn to be a leader. Or where they gain confidence. It can be a very important aspect of growing up.

quote:

---

Did his kindergarten teacher see any of this? Most of his struggles are probably developmental and not cognitive at this point.

---

We had no issues in Kindergarten. The struggling started this year with Math and Reading. That's why I was thinking it was the teaching style. But he just struggles with basic concepts in Math and answering questions from things he's read. He reads at an age appropriate level. This could be developmental or it could be him needing to do it all again. He goes to tutoring and all they make notice of is ADD type of behavior. My oldest has ADD, and he never struggled like this. Hell it could be that the youngest just hates school and doesn't give a shite.

quote:

---

if he was 6 on 9/31/22, he would be in first Grade.

I dont know about other school systems but Rapides Parish has a hard line about no holding back to start. We had planned to not start ours until the next year but the school system would not allow it. We planned on starting him and holding back the next year if he didnt do well, but he is smart and has had zero trouble with school. Only the last couple of years have we seen him have more comfortable friendships with those in the grade below, so we held back. Shouldve went private and trusted our gut earlier.

---

in most parishes its you can start them early but 9/31 is the cut off date. meanign if he was after that then you cant start early.

me and my middle kid are late sept birthdays would be dumb for me to not hold him back like my dad did for me. it makes a big difference later in life.


now im gonan say this...what parent, when they see their kid walking across the stage and getting the hs diploma, wouldnt love to have their kid stay for 1 more year to love on them, hang out with them, guide them etc??? any good parent who raised good kids should want that....essentially that is what the OP is looking at


to the idiots talking about...dont do it just for sports....its never just for sports, its for maturity reasons, but being successful at sports can have a profound effect for your whole life and certainly your early adult life. dismissing it is dumb. bottomline is kids, especially boys, shouldnt be graduating at 17, much less starting college at 17.

quote:

---

It didn't help me at all in the classroom.

---

Hasn’t helped my son. Pretty sure he has a sensory processing disorder…somehow that gives him some strange ability to lock everything else out of his head and perform athletically while other kids are crippled with fear. It’s fricking weird, but he’s always had it and now it’s scary how well he can control it. Locks out teachers in school and most people talking to him as well, but we all have different skills and hinderances in life.

Holding your child back will not hurt him. All my kids entered school early, and fortunately, all did well. Looking back, though, I wished I'd held them all back to age appropriate. However, all also attended a small Classical school.

If you haven't, you must first realize that your role is more important to your child's education than the teacher.
Most schools today struggle because of the size of the school, not just the student/teacher ratio but the overwhelming amount of stimulation and distraction that occurs outside of small controlled environments.

Homeschooling with a two or three-day tutorial model is best. Get your kid off and away from screens. More harm than good happens from video games, social media, and internet browsing. Give the kid a flip phone. He can text and call.

In response to another poster. There is no such thing as failing a grade in public school anymore. No Child Left Behind is the worst thing to happen to public education since the formation of the US Dept of Education.

You and your child should be reading together every evening.

Please recognize that ADD and ADHD are socially caused. The strongest evidence to support this reality is that ADD and ADHD do not exist in the Amish community.

Please don't fall into the trap of believing that it's the school's job to educate your child. Additionally, ONLY permit the school to teach your child actual academic subjects, such as math, English, other languages, and science.

Good luck and God bless.

quote:

---

in most parishes its you can start them early but 9/31 is the cut off date. meanign if he was after that then you cant start early.

---

We had plans to prek him at a private, then hold back and let him do prek again at the magnet school his brother went to. They told us there was no way to enter into K if we did this. I took it to the school board, the President of the school system and local politicians to no use.

Then we drug our feet and held him back this last year. He was bummed, but he is a great kid and said he understood, but it was a pretty sad deal for him. Worst part was actually church group.

Sounds just like my nephew. They held him back a year for 1st grade and it has done wonders for him both mentally and academically.

quote:

---

Happy wife, happy life baw

---

One of the dumbest sayings of all time.

I have a September 6yo 1st grader and we struggle(d) with this too. When she started this year, her maturity was way behind. Her academics was not much better. She could barely solve 1+1=2, write her name, and could only barely read the most basic sight words (the, and, as).

We've met several times with teacher throughout the year. The first meeting she said about 70% of 1st graders were not ready for 1st grade due to COVID, Ida, and some new standards. The teacher also foreshadowed us that the jump from 1st grade to 2nd is the biggest jump in elementary. We dwelled on holding back, "not ready", and testing for disability. We contemplated KUMON but afraid she would be the laughing stock as KUMON is not a fixer but an accelerator for already advanced kids.

The teacher HAMMERS us with homework. Our 1st grader has 4 subjects every night and takes at least 1-2 hours each night. Sometimes 2.5 due to developing handwritting skills. We've stuck with it and have seen massive improvements. It has been a personal sacrifice for my wife and myself. All of our friends with same age kids have all this free time to do stuff like watch TV shows.

The hard work and homework is paying off. She is now "reading on a 2nd grade level" and A&B honor roll since 2nd 9 weeks (or whenever they give reports). In fact the Christmas break report she was a single point from straight A honor roll. What an a-hole teacher (not her homeroom teacher). Her biggest need for improvement is handwritting/penmanship. She writes at least 20 basic sentences a night and we are convinced the handwritting is due to hand eye motor skill development.

I have a controversial closing statement: I think just "reading to your kid" is a fallacy. It doesnt engage our kid. We have supplimented with fun learning and tablet time like Kahn Academy kids. I would say the educational tablet time is far better time spent on development than just plain reading. I feel that a lot of our friends just go through a motion of school+very little homework+reading to child every night is some great recipe for 1st grader development. It has to be engaging.

We'll see how the jump to 2nd grade goes.