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re: Holding young kids back a year/Repeating a grade.

Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:21 am to
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
58530 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:21 am to
The school would of held me back at that age but I drug up and got me a job on the pipeline instead


Got my first f250 at 7
Posted by RaginCajunz
Member since Mar 2009
7093 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:21 am to
My kids are both October babies and I'm grateful. They tend to be among the oldest in their classes. (cutoff being September 30th)
There is clear evidence of an advantage. At that age, 1 year in development is massive. I hate to hear anyone in that position as I know it must be stressful and frustrating.

My thought on the matter isn't so much as holding back for a particular grade, but allowing them to be a year older throughout their entire school career will make life easier on them.
This post was edited on 1/25/23 at 11:23 am
Posted by deaconjones35
Thibodaux
Member since Sep 2009
9879 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:21 am to
We are facing the same thing with a twist. We have twins in 1st grade; one is an honor roll student, and other is struggling. Not sure what we will do, but holding one back and letting the other promote is not an option.
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16857 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:22 am to
kids should not be struggling in first grade.

I would try and find out what the issue is and correct it.

If it is a maturity thing, holding him back is an easy solution.
Posted by elposter
Member since Dec 2010
26568 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:23 am to
quote:

Do your research. Holding a kid back does more harm than good.


Such as (specifically holding back once around 1st grade)?
Posted by ConfusedHawgInMO
Member since Apr 2014
3578 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:25 am to
I made the cutoff for the next grade by a couple days. I never had a problem through school socially, scholastically. or athletically until I went to college. I was 17 as a college freshman, but it might have more to do with being from a small town/small school than my age. My brother on the other hand was held back and it worked fine for him.

I put all my kids in school as soon as they were of age and they never really struggled.
Posted by elposter
Member since Dec 2010
26568 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:25 am to
quote:

1st grade at his school, they really start pushing homework, heavy on grades, etc.


You serious? What school system is this?
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
176269 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:26 am to
quote:


No shock a chad has this take.



the op has already admitted his kid is struggling. its an obvious move to make and a kid excelling in sports in their high school career has a huge impact on his/her life experience. No shock you look for an argument you're about to get your arse kicked in again.
Posted by USMCguy121
Northshore
Member since Aug 2021
6332 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:26 am to
Nothing wrong with that if they need it. Last thing you want them to do is start off hating school because they're struggling.
This post was edited on 1/25/23 at 11:27 am
Posted by Putty
Member since Oct 2003
25898 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:27 am to
quote:

As long as you are doing it just so he'll be bigger for sports.


fify
Posted by deaconjones35
Thibodaux
Member since Sep 2009
9879 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:28 am to
quote:

kids should not be struggling in first grade.


Kids in the first grade this year had to deal with COVID closures for a minimum of two weeks when they started Kindergarten, along with teachers wearing masks for a few weeks / months. Children in South Louisiana also missed a minimum of 2 weeks that year because of Ida. They had some road bumps to overcome.
Posted by Turf Taint
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2021
6010 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:29 am to
quote:

As long as you aren't doing it just so he'll be bigger for sports.


Do it for the sports alone! Bonus is his cognitive development and maturity that will pay dividends.

Kidding on the sports, but that is a bonus.

Things we would consider FWIW:

As parents, demonstrating in our family engagement and language the value of school

Encourage and support by finding ways to make sure learning is fun; it should not be a chore. Maybe make it positively competitive (when I was X yo, I knew the state capitols of 30 states. How many do you know?).

We used to read A LOT to our kids. Still believe this to be one of the most important things parents can do for comprehension, language skills, and eventual writing. Would make that a priority, even at his age.

Don't make it negative. Make it positive. It is an opportunity to be older in class, a leader, etc. No stigmas. We do not all develop at the same pace.

Good luck!
Posted by CatfishJohn
Member since Jun 2020
19108 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:29 am to
quote:

Do your research. Holding a kid back does more harm than good. There are many interventions available that will take effort.



I have never heard this. I've only heard the opposite (and not athletically related).

Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
155588 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:30 am to
quote:

you say he's struggling, barely staying afloat, and you have personal first-hand experience that it was a good thing for you. So why are you still not a fan for him?

If your main hesitation is the stigma behind it and him being seen as an outcast or whatever, just imagine how much worse off he'll be in each subsequent grade not being able to do even the simple things that everyone else in his class can do.

All of this.

Also, IMO doing it when he's older is worse since he'll be much more established within his friend group and then suddenly be removed from that class and moved to the younger kids. He'll be less attached to his peers in first grade than something like middle or high school.
Posted by DukeSilver
Member since Jan 2014
2939 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:32 am to
quote:

Do your research. Holding a kid back does more harm than good.


What harm does it do?
Posted by Goldbondage
Member since Mar 2020
743 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:34 am to
quote:

Such as (specifically holding back once around 1st grade)?


Social, emotional, and academic.
Kids will do better in reading and math for the first couple years, but long-term kids who are held back perform at or below average

Emotionally, since parents who hold their kids back have lower expectations, the child is bullied or becomes the bully since they are no longer with their peers. Kids sense that age difference a lot more than adults.

And socially, the economic outcome of kids who are held back are either average or below average.

There are thousands of research articles in early child development/education that look in to this.
Posted by 427Nova
Member since Sep 2022
1722 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:34 am to
Curtis wants to know what his cut off birthday is baw. Might can hold back 2 times.
Posted by elposter
Member since Dec 2010
26568 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:43 am to
quote:

but long-term kids who are held back perform at or below average


That's not that surprising - kids with above average natural IQ/intellect are not likely to be among the majority of candidates for being held back (unless dealing with some sort of significant social/emotional development issue). So I wouldn't necessarily expect them to be "above average" long term statistically.

But the real question should be do they perform better or worse than they would have had they not been held back? I'll have to read these studies to see if they tried to or can control for that. Would be difficult because by definition it's a hypothetical question for each individual person.
Posted by CunningLinguist
Dallas, TX
Member since Mar 2006
19173 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:44 am to
1st graders have homework? My 2nd grader goes to one of the best public schools in the state and he has almost no homework.

Hold your kid back if required. Confidence is huge. My son struggled with reading at kindergarten and it took all we had to get him up to level at first grade. He is doing better now with confidence in himself (he’s above the average DRA level for a 2nd grader)
Posted by Geaux-2-L-O-Miss
Between Your Ears
Member since Aug 2005
3825 posts
Posted on 1/25/23 at 11:46 am to
Held our middle back in K after finding out she was Dyslexic. I was against repeating K but my wife (no pics) being a teacher said to do it now not later. After 3rd grade she's been an A student.

As someone else stated the COVID years hurt the kids IMHO. The wife is teaching 1 grade and has some major issues. She thinks that a couple of hers and a few from the other 1st class will repeat next year. Depending on birthdate as in late in the schoolyear they may not be mature enough just yet to handle 1st.

TLDR; we held one back worked out great. If teachers and administration are making the suggestion listen to them.

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