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re: Has anyone here ever moved away from home after getting married and have kids?
Posted on 5/30/24 at 8:17 pm to finchmeister08
Posted on 5/30/24 at 8:17 pm to finchmeister08
This July will mark 2 years since I moved back home after being away for 20 years. We looked up and my wife’s family had moved from La to North Carolina and Atlanta. I said hell no. If we move, we are going to Florida to my family. I was able to find a better job with people I have known my whole life. My parents are older and zero help with the kids, but we get to see them at least weekly and help them when we can. They also get to see their grandkids. We go to the church my Grandfather loved and helped build. My kids and I sit in the same spot on the same pew I did as soon as I could walk. I also get to hunt on my family farm I grew up on. It’s been awesome.I also come from a big family that is still here. My wife had reservations and didn’t like it at first. She is now tight with my cousins wife and a secretary on the pta at school. It’s been a good move. My kids get to grow up where I did around family and people I have known my whole life.
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Posted on 5/30/24 at 8:38 pm to finchmeister08
My finacè and I moved across the country last year and she's currently pregnant.
I'm not gonna lie, I don't love the fact that we won't have family and friends around while our child grows up. Unless your family really sucks, it's not an ideal situation.
On the flip side, I don't regret leaving Louisiana and there's many positives to our child not growing up in LA.
I'm not gonna lie, I don't love the fact that we won't have family and friends around while our child grows up. Unless your family really sucks, it's not an ideal situation.
On the flip side, I don't regret leaving Louisiana and there's many positives to our child not growing up in LA.
This post was edited on 5/30/24 at 8:40 pm
Posted on 5/31/24 at 9:07 am to Tigers4Lyfe
quote:
If you think it would be ONLY for a few weeks/months of mama's guidance then you truly are naive.
I responded to the other poster's comment sir. Settle down corky.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 9:36 am to finchmeister08
quote:
Anyone ever find themselves in a similar situation?
You moved away from home. This is what adults do.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 9:41 am to cubsfan5150
quote:
Yeah I joined the military. We made it work.
I was raised as a service brat. Got to live in Newport, RI, Hawaii (a long time), Virginia and El Paso. Got to see a lot of things, learn a lot of things by moving around.
Because we spent so much time in Hawaii (which also meant Dad went to Vietnam three times), I didn't know my grandparents all that well. With email, zoom, etc. today, it would be a lot easier to keep in touch.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 10:22 am to finchmeister08
She is feeling overwhelmed.
Have childcare help options to discuss.Taking care of your kid(s) can be done many ways
Stay at home nanny (put costs together to show her)
Hybrid part time and child care. (honestly this was best)
Moving, loss of income costs.
Socioeconomic situation will dictate childcare. Middle class stay at homes still put kids in daycare.
Have childcare help options to discuss.Taking care of your kid(s) can be done many ways
Stay at home nanny (put costs together to show her)
Hybrid part time and child care. (honestly this was best)
Moving, loss of income costs.
Socioeconomic situation will dictate childcare. Middle class stay at homes still put kids in daycare.
This post was edited on 5/31/24 at 10:29 am
Posted on 5/31/24 at 10:33 am to rltiger
quote:
put costs together to show her)
trying to talk logic with a woman? good luck with that
Posted on 5/31/24 at 10:36 am to finchmeister08
I haven't lived in my hometown nor my home state since since I left home 20 years ago.
Make money and forge your own path.
Make money and forge your own path.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 10:58 am to DaBeerz
quote:
Got married and moved wife up to DC where I was in school. Ended up moving to Virginia for a job, had both kids up there, no family help.
Similar situation.
Similar situation.
Got married while in Military. A year later was discharged from Service, started college, wife worked.
Two years later we decided to have a child. I had a year left in college. She saved her annual leave and sick leave to use when she had the baby. When she delivered, her mother, who lived 60 miles away, came down and spent a week with us. After that I arranged classes to take care of our boy. Wife went back to work, night shift, and I cared for the Baby at night. I graduated when the baby was about four months old.
I'm not suggesting that for anyone else but it worked for us. My wife is an "Iron Lady" who has great determination and self sacrifice. Without her character we couldn't have done it.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 11:34 am to finchmeister08
I left home when I graduated high school 30 years ago.
Graduated college and lived within a few hours of home.
Moved across the country.
Moved back, but my kids have never lived near either of our "hometowns"
Schools are better here, more opportunity, just better quality of life than "back home." Looking for a job in a one-horse town can be rough.
You do what you have to do, but honestly where we live is HOME to us, we've lived here longer now than we lived in our own homes growing up.
Graduated college and lived within a few hours of home.
Moved across the country.
Moved back, but my kids have never lived near either of our "hometowns"
Schools are better here, more opportunity, just better quality of life than "back home." Looking for a job in a one-horse town can be rough.
You do what you have to do, but honestly where we live is HOME to us, we've lived here longer now than we lived in our own homes growing up.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 2:05 pm to finchmeister08
I could not imagine raising kids without a family unit to help when needed. Only exception is someone who can afford a full time nanny.
Sometimes the parents move to where your job is in order to help. I know some that have done so. One family I know funded a MIL with a house to move to their city.
Sometimes the parents move to where your job is in order to help. I know some that have done so. One family I know funded a MIL with a house to move to their city.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 2:16 pm to finchmeister08
We only live in Louisiana because of our parents. But my kids are super close to them, and they add so much to each others' lives. At the end of the day, family is the most important thing to us, and we are blessed every day they are still here.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 2:32 pm to finchmeister08
I got a new 100% remote job 6 months before my wife's grad school graduation so that she could evaluate her job options and we could move anywhere in the country for her work (we were living in New Orleans at the time).
She took at job in Lafayette, LA, which is close to where both of our families are. I wasn't upset with it because we have a ton of friends and family here, but I was open to living pretty much anywhere in the country that "doesn't suck".
She took at job in Lafayette, LA, which is close to where both of our families are. I wasn't upset with it because we have a ton of friends and family here, but I was open to living pretty much anywhere in the country that "doesn't suck".
Posted on 5/31/24 at 2:44 pm to jizzle6609
quote:
It doesnt make you weak it makes you lazier, this is not an argument.
It makes you lazy to want to be around family?
quote:
Louisiana versus Texas for careers, it was a no brainer after utilizing TOPS. If your family wants you to stay home in Louisiana and pass up opportunity it sounds like you have a selfish family. You cannot let having a kid dictate your career over the course of your life. I know 95% of all Louisiana folks think exactly like you do and thats fine. We agree to disagree.
Imagine having to move to Texas to get a good job
Posted on 5/31/24 at 2:46 pm to finchmeister08
Raised 2 kids 6-7 hours away from the nearest grandparent, or relative. Believe in your choice that you are building a better life, and don't look back. We have had flexible employers that understand we need to take time off to get kids to events, and trade off who stays home when one is sick. Many make it work.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 3:06 pm to finchmeister08
You and your wife should map this out.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 3:18 pm to finchmeister08
Stay in Indiana. The traffic is bad enough on the Ross Clark Circle.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 3:49 pm to finchmeister08
We moved to Texas right after our 3rd was born. All three were elementary school or younger.
We were gone for 10 years. We were 11 hours from family. It wasn’t any problem at all. As a matter of fact, I think it was for the best.
I see my in-laws too often now, for my taste.
We were gone for 10 years. We were 11 hours from family. It wasn’t any problem at all. As a matter of fact, I think it was for the best.
I see my in-laws too often now, for my taste.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 3:57 pm to SoFla Tideroller
quote:
Stay in Indiana. The traffic is bad enough on the Ross Clark Circle.
HA!!! they've been working on the Montgomery Hwy intersection to 231 South for a decade now it seems.
last time we came home, it wasn't even close to being done.
Posted on 5/31/24 at 4:01 pm to finchmeister08
Thought this fit in this thread maybe your wife is feeling like this:
“Someday, I would like to go home. The exact location of this place, I don't know, but someday I would like to go. There would be a pleasing feeling of familiarity and a sense of welcome in everything I saw. People would greet me warmly. They would remind me of the length of my absence and the thousands of miles I had traveled in those restless years, but mostly, they would tell me that I had been missed, and that things were better now I had returned. Autumn would come to this place of welcome, this place I would know to be home. Autumn would come and the air would grow cool, dry and magic, as it does that time of the year. At night, I would walk the streets but not feel lonely, for these are the streets of my home town. These are the streets that I had thought about while far away, and now I was back, and all was as it should be. The trees and the falling leaves would welcome me. I would look up at the moon, and remember seeing it in countries all over the world as I had restlessly journeyed for decades, never remembering it looking the same as when viewed from my hometown.”
~Henry Rollins
“Someday, I would like to go home. The exact location of this place, I don't know, but someday I would like to go. There would be a pleasing feeling of familiarity and a sense of welcome in everything I saw. People would greet me warmly. They would remind me of the length of my absence and the thousands of miles I had traveled in those restless years, but mostly, they would tell me that I had been missed, and that things were better now I had returned. Autumn would come to this place of welcome, this place I would know to be home. Autumn would come and the air would grow cool, dry and magic, as it does that time of the year. At night, I would walk the streets but not feel lonely, for these are the streets of my home town. These are the streets that I had thought about while far away, and now I was back, and all was as it should be. The trees and the falling leaves would welcome me. I would look up at the moon, and remember seeing it in countries all over the world as I had restlessly journeyed for decades, never remembering it looking the same as when viewed from my hometown.”
~Henry Rollins
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