re: Has anyone here ever moved away from home after getting married and have kids?

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Don't underestimate having help with kids.

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This. My ex-wife and I were the opposite of your situation though. All of our parents moved away and we really could have used some help from time to time. Also, I have fond childhood memories of spending a few weeks each summer at my grandmothers' houses and also family dinner every Sunday at grandma's house and playing with my cousins. My children didn't get to experience that.

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I think wanting your parents to be an everyday part of your children's life is a little more than a few weeks of guidance.

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Responded to your statement sir

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First time mothers often lean on their mothers to guide them in the first few weeks/months.

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Like I said before, everyone has a right to prioritize their lives however they want but wanting to be near family isn't some weakness that needs to be avoided.

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I never said her POV should be avoided. I think him having such a negative reaction to her perspective is not right, but nor do I believe he should easily cave to her wanting to move. I am merely suggesting that it be discussed and decided upon without being highly emotional on either side.

If the discussion proves that staying where they are is the right thing, then she will be okay working through the challenges staying would bring. Suggesting that wouldn't provide growth and strength is dishonest.

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My thoughts are that if I wanted a stay at home wife then I would have married someone else and live somewhere else

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I would tell her as long as two criteria are met, let's go for it:

1. All student loans must be paid off including med school.

2. We'd have to downsize our lifestyle accordingly, which would almost certainly mean moving.

If she still wanted to do it under those conditions, I'd do it. It will be the best thing for your children, and materialism has already tempted way too many people to further undermine the nuclear family in this country.

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Wanting to be near family doesn't make a person weak. Just like depriving yourself of family doesn't make you tough. I am sure yall had your reasons for moving and I'm glad it worked out for you but don't project that the way you did it is the only way it should be done.

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It doesnt make you weak it makes you lazier, this is not an argument.

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Knowing nothing other than you moved away of your own free will, I would say you were selfish to deprive your family from being a bigger part of your child's life and vice versa. But thats my opinion of family being one of the most important things in life and by no means does my opinion make your decisions right or wrong for your life.

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Louisiana versus Texas for careers, it was a no brainer after utilizing TOPS. If your family wants you to stay home in Louisiana and pass up opportunity it sounds like you have a selfish family. You cannot let having a kid dictate your career over the course of your life. I know 95% of all Louisiana folks think exactly like you do and thats fine. We agree to disagree.

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Anyone ever find themselves in a similar situation?

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Yes - it sucks and you do what you have to do to provide for your family financially.

One of the biggest regrets my wife and I have is moving from New Orleans back to CA to be closer to family once we had our son. Being closer to family isn't all its cracked up to be.

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I find that thinking asinine and shortsighted

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Not reading the whole thread but did you tell your wife this verbatim when she touched the subject?? If not, that needs to be the first thing you do when she brings it back up. Trust me...you'll thank me as it'll shut it down quick and you'll move on from it all to live happy ever after. Man up.

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Dothan, AL

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We probably know each other or we know each others family members. I left Dothan/Troy 20 years ago and it had grown considerably since then. Hardly recognize things when we go to visit family. But it still seems like a great place to raise kids. Large enough for good employment opportunities but still small enough if you live in one of the smaller communities. I’ve been in Birmingham for 20 years and what would seem like a long drive in Dothan is nothing here. Plenty of my old friends live in Hartford, Newton, Daleville, Ashford etc but work in Dothan. Go live near the grandparents and as a bonus you’ve got beaches 90 minutes away.

I raised my 3 kids 10 hours from home. No help at all.

It’s not asinine or short sighted, simply a different perspective.

I have a massive family, examples on both sides of kids that turned out great….Less examples on both sides of kids that turned out not so great.

I’d choose to be closer to home just because I have a massive family and I think the relationships I had with them growing up is one of the most valuable things in life. Also probably played the biggest part in shaping who I am today. If it was just my parents and a sibling I might feel differently.

Simply have to choose what direction you want to go with your family. Neither is a “right” answer, simply different.

I’ll tell you this, good employees are in high demand. Apart from specialized fields with minimal positions here. Can’t imagine a good job is much of a setback for any hardworking college grad.