- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Has anyone here been asked by a friend/colleague for a letter of recommendation...
Posted on 9/12/25 at 7:55 pm
Posted on 9/12/25 at 7:55 pm
who you think would be a terrible fit? If so, do you just say no, be honest in the letter and hope they don't find out about it, etc. I am stuck on the protocol because I don't want to piss him off, but I genuinely think he would suck at the job and would be a terrible hire.
I have worked with him in our line of work for about 15 years. Most years with opposing organizations and two years he worked under me. He is a personal friend. And he is shady as hell.
I have worked with him in our line of work for about 15 years. Most years with opposing organizations and two years he worked under me. He is a personal friend. And he is shady as hell.
This post was edited on 9/12/25 at 8:01 pm
10
Posted on 9/12/25 at 7:57 pm to rpg37
“I’m not allowed to be a professional reference by company policy. All I can do is verify employment dates of former employees”
Posted on 9/12/25 at 7:58 pm to rpg37
I don’t think I’d want a friend who would want me to do as a reference.
Posted on 9/12/25 at 8:11 pm to rpg37
1- You should reconsider this friendship if thats how you really feel.
2- if you want to continue the friendship, your obligation is to the friendship and you owe the prospective company nothing.
2- if you want to continue the friendship, your obligation is to the friendship and you owe the prospective company nothing.
Posted on 9/12/25 at 8:43 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
“I’m not allowed to be a professional reference by company policy. All I can do is verify employment dates of former employees”
I would take this route…because that has been the truth for every company where I have worked for the past 20 years.
I learned the hard way to never recommend someone that you are not that familiar with or do not recommend.
Posted on 9/13/25 at 2:11 am to rpg37
Yes. And when he declined my suggestion that he find another reference, the last sentence was, "I strongly recommend that his application be considered."
Posted on 9/13/25 at 5:24 am to rpg37
Many times. A few times for jobs but mostly reference letters for acceptance or invitations into clubs. It’s not that hard to do :
Posted on 9/13/25 at 6:05 am to rpg37
I got a reference call once regarding a guy I had previously worked with who was fired for harassing and stalking multiple women in the office. I hate painting someone in a bad light, and maybe the guy had straightened up…but seeing the hiring manager was a female and someone I had a lot of respect for I pretty much told her everything. The guy didn’t get the job.
Posted on 9/13/25 at 6:24 am to rpg37
I’ve written a few. I focus on the positives of the person. Most people have at least some positives.
Posted on 9/13/25 at 8:44 am to Sofaking2
I never put things in writing but I had phone calls asking for my opinion. The one negative was for a woman of eastern European background who was pig headed and did things her way as opposed to what she was supposed to . Then she lied to a client.
Posted on 9/13/25 at 8:59 am to rpg37
Yes, I have been asked. When I could not comply the response was:
"Sorry, but we both know that I cannot do that."
"Sorry, but we both know that I cannot do that."
Posted on 9/13/25 at 9:00 am to rpg37
I would give zero shits if he was a good friend
Posted on 9/13/25 at 9:34 am to rpg37
If you are friends and you think it would be a terrible fit, express that to your friend and tell them you will be happy to write a letter on their behalf, but that you can’t support this move since you think it will not work out well for your friend.
If they still want to go forward with it, write the letter to highlight their strengths and wish them the best. If it works out long term, you helped, if it doesn’t work out, you did what’s best for your friend.
If you are colleagues, you have to consider if your reputation will be tarnished by supporting this move. Don’t put your professional reputation on the line to support a bad fit.
If your reputation isn’t on the line, then either “forget” to write the letter in time, write a neutral letter, or be honest about the best qualities of the person and highlight the types of support they would need to be successful.
If they still want to go forward with it, write the letter to highlight their strengths and wish them the best. If it works out long term, you helped, if it doesn’t work out, you did what’s best for your friend.
If you are colleagues, you have to consider if your reputation will be tarnished by supporting this move. Don’t put your professional reputation on the line to support a bad fit.
If your reputation isn’t on the line, then either “forget” to write the letter in time, write a neutral letter, or be honest about the best qualities of the person and highlight the types of support they would need to be successful.
Page 1 of 1
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News