- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Has anyone dealt with a sibling treating their own mother like shite due to their spouse?
Posted on 12/21/25 at 3:45 pm to shoelessjoe
Posted on 12/21/25 at 3:45 pm to shoelessjoe
quote:
He hasn’t come to see her in over three years
This ain’t good advice… but I would put hands on my brother in front of his wife if this was going on… my sister would have been put his wife in her place
2
Posted on 12/21/25 at 3:53 pm to lepdagod
Yeah, I don’t understand why this is not being addressed more directly. I have a PhD in dealing with narcissistic assholes and whether they are or not, the way to handle it would be the same. Stop being “hurt” for your mom and start being angry. Tell your brother and his wife to GF themselves if they are so shitty as to do this to your mom. If your mom is guilty of anything then they can get over it (forgive) or enjoy their miserable lives. If she said something and they have legit beef, then fine — air it out. But either get over it or again, GTFO. Tell you mom that if she truly didn’t do anything wrong then she’s not to blame and that some people are just broken and stupid. Your brother and his wife are broken and stupid. Pray for them, send the grandkids reminders of her love, but let their toxic asses be toxic by themselves. Holy shite, people are so weak.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:03 pm to themasterpater
quote:
You say he's not afraid, and then say
I said not afraid to talk about it. He is afraid to talk to his wife about it. Thought you were meaning if he was afraid to talk to me about it. We aren’t talking any longer since the shite that has happened in the last year.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:07 pm to shoelessjoe
The onus is on your brother. You have to let go and cut off ties unless its just 1:1 without his wife included. Some people marry very shitty people and wont leave.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:08 pm to forkedintheroad
quote:
This alone tells me the issue is not just your brother's spouse. Your brother is part of the problem if not all of it.
I can sum it up a little. My brothers wife is the start of the problem. His enabling the problem to continue, has caused him to be the part of the problem to continue. This is where I was a year ago. Had to put up boundaries to keep myself sane and from driving to his house and choking him. Now him being involved has caused him to be ok with how things are as long as he doesn’t have to confront his wife. Like I said my problem is my mothers feelings and that she knows that she does matter regardless of him and his enabling or her feelings.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:09 pm to Tiger Ryno
quote:
The onus is on your brother. You have to let go and cut off ties unless it’s just 1:1 without his wife included. Some people marry very shitty people and wont leave.
My wife and I have done this long ago. My mom needs to do the same and let him deal with the guilt when she does pass, hopefully years from now.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:10 pm to lepdagod
quote:
This ain’t good advice
Trust me buddy, we have both thought about this!
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:13 pm to shoelessjoe
My maternal grandfather was an absolute a-hole. The definition of a narcissist he was insincere dishonest greedy was slow to give credit to others always wanted the credit and attention on himself.
And for that and many other reasons my parents didn't have a good marriage but it took till I became an adult till I recognized that some people are just assholes whether they be a parent or a grandparent or a kid and sooner or later we all get sick of this shite and we're all responsible for our own happiness as long as it doesn't interfere with others.
So unless the op ends up sharing some Illuminating piece of information none of us have any idea of the real dynamics of the situation he's sharing, we all are imposing our own views on it and giving our opinions based upon our experiences not upon the situation.
Which doesn't make us bad it makes us human
Funyons
And for that and many other reasons my parents didn't have a good marriage but it took till I became an adult till I recognized that some people are just assholes whether they be a parent or a grandparent or a kid and sooner or later we all get sick of this shite and we're all responsible for our own happiness as long as it doesn't interfere with others.
So unless the op ends up sharing some Illuminating piece of information none of us have any idea of the real dynamics of the situation he's sharing, we all are imposing our own views on it and giving our opinions based upon our experiences not upon the situation.
Which doesn't make us bad it makes us human
Funyons
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:17 pm to shoelessjoe
Your brothers wife sounds like classic borderline personality disorder.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:17 pm to RoyalWe
quote:
Pray for them, send the grandkids reminders of her love, but let their toxic asses be toxic by themselves. Holy shite, people are so weak.
Folks nowadays almost too damn adverse to confrontation… I would have ONE time to see my Mama stressing and crying over this shite before I’m confronting him in front of his wife … that’s me though… this ain’t advice for everyone…but ain’t no way my Ole Gal going be stressing about something shite cause my brother refuses to check his bitch… I’ve got personal experience dealing with this… Mama and Aunts will usually try to hide this type of shite from me because they know I ain’t putting up with it
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:33 pm to shoelessjoe
My son and I are estranged. Partly my fault and partly his.
I was the one bringing home the bacon in his younger years and was sleeping days so we never formed the mother/ child attachment.
We have had a so-so relationship over the years. He'd come for one over night visit every year. 200 miles distance; same as we have now but different states.
He got married this year; we have drifted apart even more now. I informed him that he would have to come get me and bring me back but he said shortly before the big day that he was too busy.
It no longer bothers me and I guess he feels the same. It is what it is and I'm ruled by my brain rather than my heart.
I was the one bringing home the bacon in his younger years and was sleeping days so we never formed the mother/ child attachment.
We have had a so-so relationship over the years. He'd come for one over night visit every year. 200 miles distance; same as we have now but different states.
He got married this year; we have drifted apart even more now. I informed him that he would have to come get me and bring me back but he said shortly before the big day that he was too busy.
It no longer bothers me and I guess he feels the same. It is what it is and I'm ruled by my brain rather than my heart.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:50 pm to sc2anni
And this right here is the kind of shite that fricks people up.
"My son and I are estranged. Partly my fault and partly his.It no longer bothers me and I guess he feels the same. It is what it is and I'm ruled by my brain rather than my heart."
"My son and I are estranged. Partly my fault and partly his.It no longer bothers me and I guess he feels the same. It is what it is and I'm ruled by my brain rather than my heart."
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:53 pm to sc2anni
quote:
I was the one bringing home the bacon in his younger years and was sleeping days so we never formed the mother/ child attachment.
And that's his fault? Of course he's detached from you. Then you issue ultimatums when he's forming his own family unit? Bold strategy, Cotton.
My mom took off to 3rd world countries repeatedly (for a year at a time, by choice) when my sisters were going through puberty. 70% of what is wrong with both of my sisters comes from this, and expecting my dad to carry the load of dealing with two pre-teen/teen girls on his own (I was already gone.)
Posted on 12/21/25 at 4:54 pm to LemmyLives
fricking preach. And women like to blame men as emotionally unavailable, yet refuse to look in the mirror and take accountability.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 5:00 pm to LemmyLives
Ultimatums? Where did you get that, you 'tard?
I was so blind as a bat that I couldn't read street signs and would have to drive thru Atlanta on a holiday weekend. Plus I am damn near 80 YO.
At least one thing is good. I got my eyes fixed.
I was so blind as a bat that I couldn't read street signs and would have to drive thru Atlanta on a holiday weekend. Plus I am damn near 80 YO.
At least one thing is good. I got my eyes fixed.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 5:13 pm to shoelessjoe
My daughter married an Alabama redneck who has zero social skills, he doesn't like us at all, no reason given, we have always treated him with respect. After they were married 12 years, he hounded her until she went no contact.
We never have criticized either one of them, we gave them a lot of financial support when they got married, never asked for a penny back. Now my daughter has done very well in her career, she is the CEO of a very successful company, hubby stays home and plays video games in the basement.
We never got to see our daughter or grandchildren, they don't answer calls, texts or emails. We gave our daughter everything she ever needed, paid for her college education, bought her cars, paid for her grandchildren's childcare when she couldn't.
Now we are 75+, healthcare issues, we might never see any of them again. It hurts tremendously, it's the first thing that I think about in the morning and the last thing at night. It's as if she got to a point and figured she didn't need our financial support any longer.
We never have criticized either one of them, we gave them a lot of financial support when they got married, never asked for a penny back. Now my daughter has done very well in her career, she is the CEO of a very successful company, hubby stays home and plays video games in the basement.
We never got to see our daughter or grandchildren, they don't answer calls, texts or emails. We gave our daughter everything she ever needed, paid for her college education, bought her cars, paid for her grandchildren's childcare when she couldn't.
Now we are 75+, healthcare issues, we might never see any of them again. It hurts tremendously, it's the first thing that I think about in the morning and the last thing at night. It's as if she got to a point and figured she didn't need our financial support any longer.
Posted on 12/21/25 at 5:17 pm to shoelessjoe
I would put money on this is all due to your brothers wife taking something your mom said to her, the wrong way so at that point your brother had to take sides.
Either way all you can do is talk with him, but if that isn't possible what he does is on him. You can't make him do anything. Trust me, shite like that will eat at you and that isn't healthy. So do what you can to get in touch with him and tell him what's on your mind and ask if there is away they can work whatever the problem is out. 10 years after your mom passes your brother will wish he did things different. Remind him of that.
That's all you can do and at that point its all on him. Maybe go talk to his wife. Patch up whatever the issue is with the two of you. Even if you have to take the blame who cares? If it results in what you think needs to happen.
Your sister not talking to him will only make things tense, but every once in awhile women will do something that isn't logical (by every once in awhile I mean never).
Either way all you can do is talk with him, but if that isn't possible what he does is on him. You can't make him do anything. Trust me, shite like that will eat at you and that isn't healthy. So do what you can to get in touch with him and tell him what's on your mind and ask if there is away they can work whatever the problem is out. 10 years after your mom passes your brother will wish he did things different. Remind him of that.
That's all you can do and at that point its all on him. Maybe go talk to his wife. Patch up whatever the issue is with the two of you. Even if you have to take the blame who cares? If it results in what you think needs to happen.
Your sister not talking to him will only make things tense, but every once in awhile women will do something that isn't logical (by every once in awhile I mean never).
Posted on 12/21/25 at 5:17 pm to sc2anni
quote:
informed him that he would have to come get me and bring me back
You didn't mention that you were blind in the post I was responding to. But, Greyhound still exists.
It sounds like you let the relationship sink for decades (I don't know if you were half blind when he was in his 20s or what,) and didn't use your maturity to find a way to stop being two cinderblocks pushing against each other. I'm not blaming you, but whenever I fark up, I look for ways to understand what I could *do* (not have done so much, water under the bridge and all.)
Three cheers that you got your eyes fixed!
Posted on 12/21/25 at 5:18 pm to RoyalWe
This times 1000!
Posted on 12/21/25 at 5:21 pm to shoelessjoe
Whiskey myers song Stoned has a verse in it that made me chuckle at its reality.
They’ll love you and drain you for everything you own, just to feel better about their life.
Family can be that way.
You’re also dealing with something unique to boy moms. Women tend to get what they want when it comes to special events like you’re describing. That includes your wife, mom, and the SIL. Once a man has a wife he tends to prioritize the wife and not the mom. Some moms have a hard time with it.
They’ll love you and drain you for everything you own, just to feel better about their life.
Family can be that way.
You’re also dealing with something unique to boy moms. Women tend to get what they want when it comes to special events like you’re describing. That includes your wife, mom, and the SIL. Once a man has a wife he tends to prioritize the wife and not the mom. Some moms have a hard time with it.
Page 4 of 5
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News