quote:
Why ARE women dumping their husbands in their sixties?

Daily Mail

Sue Lawrence’s late-life divorce wasn’t triggered by rows or infidelity. Instead, it was the corrosive resentment that ate away at her husband as she re-invented herself.

When they married, she was a secretary and he was an academic. But as her self-confidence flourished, she took on fresh challenges and forged an exciting new career. And as she grew out of her old, subservient role, her husband’s rancour festered.

Six years ago, however, when Sue found the courage to seek a divorce, the shock to her husband, then 70, was profound. ‘Frankly, he was petrified,’ she says. ‘He would never have initiated the separation as our lives together were so comfortable and secure. But, like so many women today, I wanted more out of a relationship than boring routine. It was as if all the fun had leached out of our marriage.’

The UK is witnessing an unprecedented rise in divorces among the over-60s, or ‘silver separations’ as the phenomenon has been dubbed. Meanwhile, the incidence of divorce in every other age group is falling.

‘The husband has often been working really hard to provide for his family and he feels unappreciated when he reaches the end of his career to discover his wife has found a fresh sense of fulfilment and an identity separate from her old one as a wife and mum. There is a phrase for it: “Women who walk and men who don’t see it coming.”’

Instead of confronting and discussing their problems, Sue and her husband had retreated into impenetrable silence. ‘We would just sit, night after night, mutely watching television together,’ she recalls. ‘When we did go out for a meal we simply had nothing to say to each other, so we’d just stare at each other wordlessly. My husband was a decent man. There was nothing inherently wrong with him. We had just reached the point where we were merely co-existing.’

She feels liberated by her divorce — her busy social life, and the freedom she now has to meet friends and go out at will.

And what of the men who are casualties of the rise in late-life divorces?

Some like Brian Goodwin, 63, from Bognor Regis, West Sussex, remain alone — reluctantly and unhappily cut adrift from their old lives. ‘The divorce has disrupted my life so much, we have had to sell the four-bedroom family home with its nice big garden and now I live in a one-bedroom flat.

What hair he has left is turning grey; he regrets the ebbing away of his looks, the growth of his paunch and the awful upheaval, physical and financial, his divorce has involved. ‘It’s awful to contemplate spending your remaining years alone, and I’d love to turn the clock back, but now it’s too late. We’re divorced. I feel as if the rug has been pulled from under me.’

For every vibrant and fulfilled silver divorcee there is, it seems, a lost, lonely and reluctant singleton like Brian.

I've been trying to tell you bros these hoes aint loyal. If men dump their old wives for a younger, hotter piece of arse, they're called pigs. If women dump their husbands because they're not exciting anymore they're praised as independent. We live in a world where women are constantly told they deserve better than whatever it is you've done for them.

Dudes think their years of support, service and kindness will be repaid with goodwill and loyalty. Then one day you're sitting in your favorite chair watching a football game and your wife hits you with a pink slip. You're 45-60 years old, you're overweight, and you've spent your whole life supporting this broad and she tells you she's moving on because she wants more excitement in her life. Bruh

It's not fair but this is what happens when men get too comfortable. When you lose your passion for life and the desire to take on new challenges and grow, you lose what makes you a man in the eyes of your S/O. But don't make changes to your life for them, do it for you. Do it because you'll find purpose in those challenges, and so you won't look back and regret the years you lost. If you want to live a sedentary lifestyle of routine, then you do you. But expect to do it alone or sexless. You might be happier that way. But if you're going to get in the game remember that the game doesn't stop because you stop playing.